if this mother wasn't coping then wtf didn't she ask for help rather than paying someone 20 f****ing quid to look after her child?

[wannaBe]

so very very for this little boy. here

Comparing where and in what mindset that "Mother" dumped her baby, to parents using daycare every day is the most ridiculous comparison and quite insulting to loving parents who agonise over a good choice of nursery / nanny.

Vile.

I don't think people are blaming the addiction alone Riven. They are saying that the mother in this case cannot be held to be entirely blameless. She chose to leave her child with people who were clearly unsuitable for the job in so many ways (including the drug abuse) - you seem to be saying the same thing yourself in this sentence: 'how the fuck did these people grow up and think it was ok to torture a small child or leave a small child with barely known relatives?'

I understand that your main point here is that society is to blame for allowing this underclass to exist - but does that mean that all, let's say, muggers and petty thieves for example, should be excused for their behaviour because society made them that way?

I cant even begin to read all of the story it is just pure evil
the poor little boy

I cant even begin to read all of the story it is just pure evil
the poor little boy

A child may be experiencing abuse if he or she is:

1)frequently dirty, hungry or inadequately dressed
2)left in unsafe situations or without medical attention
3)constantly "put down", insulted, sworn at or humiliated
seems afraid of parents or carers
severely bruised or injured
4)displays sexual behaviour which doesn't seem appropriate for their age
5)growing up in a home where there is domestic violence
living with parents or carers involved in serious drug or alcohol abuse

So well it is a big tick as far as I can see against 4 of the items above - what a shame that no one noticed the warning signs.

Why didnt the neighbours phone the police if they heard the poor boy being shouted at?

I am horrified that some people on this thread are comparing leaving children at nursery to leaving them with a drug addict with a conviction for battery. Incredulous actually. On what planet does that compare?

"murder is as rare as the paedophile nursery worker." Maybe it is, but child abuse isn't. And the difference between the nursery worker and these people is that no-one could have guessed that the nursery worker was a paedophile, whereas even if this mother might not have guessed these people were going to abuse and then subsequently murder her child, it's fairly obvious that a crack addict with a previous conviction for battery is not a loving role model with whom one might consider leaving one's children.

If I started a thread saying "My friend has offered to look after my child for a few weeks while I redecorate the house, she's a lovely girl but i have some misgivings about her dp, he's a crack addict and has done time for battery," what do you think the general response would be?

donate now

In memory of Ryan I have made a one off donation to the NSPCC.

There are 235 posts on this thread -

If everyone gave 5 quid for every time they posted on this thread then £1,175 would be donated to the NSPCC. Even more is posters used gift aid.

Obviously people will not agree on this thread - but surely everyone can agree that Ryan should not have lost his life and the signs of abuse were missed.

So come on everybody let's try raise £1,000 quid.

WannaBa I too am horrified by some of the posts, but thank you for bringing this awful story to my attention.

bump

Well this is my second post so I have donated £10.

Anybody else out there??

donate

The power of good eh - I have made a donation to the nspcc too. It was easy peasy.

bump

please donate now

not sure this is the thread that should be being bumped tbh - as good as your intentions are.

Not because it's inappropriate but because the thread title refers to this specific case - perhaps worth starting a separate thread to attract more attention wrt potential donation.

?

whatever ...

Yep, me thinks this thread is now dead.

I was surprised at some of the nasty comments on this thread, which I found extremely disheartening.

Well that is it for me, I will no more be on mumsnet.

Thank you to anyone who made a donation to the nspcc.