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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Times article about Mumsnet's evil streak

377 replies

NorkyButNice · 14/02/2010 07:54

I wonder which former devotee wrote this?

No such thing as bad publicity? Or does it make us look like a bunch of beeeatches?

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 16/02/2010 13:05

Look, I put in a request for a emoticon last week and Justine, you turned me down

Look how useful it would come in in circs such as these.

GetOrfMoiLand · 16/02/2010 13:08

Sorry I just posted that in the wrong thread.

Oh well. It fits anyway

I don;t think that MN has a nasty streak. I feel quite proud to be involved with it. I think it is perhaps because I have only been here (only!) 4 years or so so am relative newbie.

Cyb · 16/02/2010 13:10

Yes Getorf, I'm wondering who these 'bullies' are

LeninGrad · 16/02/2010 13:16

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frakkinaround · 16/02/2010 13:26

I don't think there are individual bullies but I remember one thread recently where a personality clash between two posters resulted in a lot of people being very nasty - and those were people that are not normally nasty at all. It was entirely incomprehensible even to someone like myself who recognised most of the posters on the thread from just hanging around and occasionally bantering/supporting/banging heads with so I hate to think how it came across to someone who didn't 'know' the posters. Threads such as that put MN in a very bad light and make it seem like we are a bunch of bullies even though we're not. It's just the pack mentality gets a bit out of hand sometimes and personalities do clash - that's inevitable in a large group of people - we just don't usually turn on each other.

GetOrfMoiLand · 16/02/2010 13:43

I think just don;t take things seriously.

MN very good in the suppotive bits - miscarriage, bereavement, real help. There is no bullying there imo.

MN also very good in debating isshoos. No bullying there just forthright debate.

Also veyr good for light chat and arsing around - no bullying there just people taking the piss in lighthearted manner.

I don't think I have ever seen people round on one another, or bitch. Seen a couple of posters having a bit of a ding dong but that was certainly not bullying.

frakkinaround · 16/02/2010 13:54

I think it can be seen as bullying when 2 groups of posters are having a set-to and it gets a bit personal/history comes into it. Also if you come out in support of an unpopular poster or point of view you do need to prepare for a bit of a flaming because people don't always read the poster's name. Likewise if you tell people to calm down because things are getting a bit overheated. All the above happen pretty often on AIBU where the poster is BU but cannot for the life of them see it because the situation is blinding them so much. It isn't bullying if you know MN, but if you don't you might look at the OP getting a bashing, trying to defend themself and being rounded on.

Having said all that it's not real life - there's a nice red box with a cross in the top right corner if you don't like it!

Spoof · 16/02/2010 14:50

There is bullying on here, definitely. But yes, it's usually involving two or three posters and because it's considered a 'personality clash' or difference of opinions it's largely ignored.

But it does happen, and just because it involves just two people, doesn't make it any less valid.

I've seen posters on here whose posts are constantly criticised/picked up on by the same other poster over and over. On it's own, a single critical/scathing post on a thread, I suppose it does seem innocuous, but when it happens time and time again on threads all over the place, that's when it becomes bullying, of sorts.

It's difficult to quantify though - different people have different ideas as to what constitutes bullying. I happen to think that one poster constantly hounding another with contrary opinions or snidey comments relating to other threads/past history, IS bullying. But some people see it as acceptible. Just that they have two wildly different opinions and both like to state them.

I think if you FEEL bullied, you usually are being.

I think MNHQ's stance on self-policing is a relatively good one. It is much more difficult to uphold though, the more traffic that comes through here. There does lie the issue though, as I saw just the other day, that if a post IS deleted having been reported, then the author of the deleted post then rounds further on the person to whom their personal attack was directed (irregardless of whether the attacked poster reported it or no).

I suppose you can't mitigate for individuals reactions though.

piscesmoon · 16/02/2010 15:13

It hasn't changed in any way. I don't know how long I have been posting but bullying is nothing new! If you want to go against the general consensus you need a thick skin, or a tin hat, but I don't think that people should be silenced.

frakkinaround · 16/02/2010 15:19

"I've seen posters on here whose posts are constantly criticised/picked up on by the same other poster over and over. On it's own, a single critical/scathing post on a thread, I suppose it does seem innocuous, but when it happens time and time again on threads all over the place, that's when it becomes bullying, of sorts."

I've never seen that but I don't tend to recognise posters names. I've seen 'history' get dragged into things but I've not seen one poster stalking another which, I guess, is what makes it feel like it's not bullying to me. Constant harassment would be, but then the person feeling harassed can report to MNHQ, who would hopefully have a look at the situation and respond appropriately. I think you make a very good point about constant hounding but you would need to be in quite deep to be bullied by that definition. Maybe MNHQ should issue tin hats as standard when you sign up with your talk nickname!

KerryMumbles · 16/02/2010 15:24

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KerryMumbles · 16/02/2010 15:26

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KerryMumbles · 16/02/2010 15:29

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LeninGrad · 16/02/2010 15:29

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morningpaper · 16/02/2010 16:12

see this is what mumsnet is about

Longtalljosie · 16/02/2010 16:13

I am a journalist.

It looks to me like a library photo.

Journalists would only run out of stories if they were in cahoots with people they wrote comment articles about. People are usually annoyed about some aspect of their own news coverage. Since Mumsnet is a public forum people can opine about it (and us) until les vaches come home

Spoof · 16/02/2010 17:15

Frakkin, it definitely has happened to various posters, but I suppose unless you've been on the receiving end of it, you'd not really notice it. But yes, I think you'd have to be here very regularly for it to happen.

Mind you, I think that's the crux of it really. That kind of behaviour can cause people to NOT want to be here regularly, which I suppose is the desired effect.

There is little MNHQ can do when the process is such an insiduous one, although I believe they have been known, in the past, to have a quiet word with some people.

A tin hat is of course, always recommended, but, you'd expect to only need wear it on threads in AIBU or the heated debates such as those on breastmilk/formula, politics, Iran/afghan wars etc, wouldnt you?

harpsichordcarrier · 16/02/2010 17:17

we're bitchy???
who knew?????
in tomorrow's edition of the Times:
Exclusive: Sky is Blue, Elton John is gay and Simon Cowell is an arrogant twunt

noblegiraffe · 16/02/2010 17:27

I post on another widely-used forum completely unrelated to parenting and the same complaints get made there too 'bitchy', 'bullying', 'cliques'. It's not Mumsnet, it's people and the internet. Some flowers are just more delicate than others.

It was a bit embarrassing to read the sort of whiny comment that people make before flouncing off a forum as an article in The Times.

Spoof · 16/02/2010 17:28

I think you'll find that Sky is whatever colour Rupert Murdoch tells it to be

Kaloki · 16/02/2010 17:30

"It was a bit embarrassing to read the sort of whiny comment that people make before flouncing off a forum as an article in The Times. "

That's exactly how it read! It's the kind of thing someone writes on a forum when they flounce, that they then come back regularly to check in the hope someone has begged them to stay.

DevonDorsetMum · 16/02/2010 17:46

I don't think the Times journalist's article was unfair: technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/the_web/article7026100.ece.

The site probably does put a lot of people off with its swearing and venomous attitude to anyone the most vocal subscribers and founders don't agree with, eg, Gina Ford.

Hope that it doesn't start promoting Labour and its damaging policies, however fluffy Sarah Brown may appear.

nighbynight · 16/02/2010 19:07

As a mumsnetter, IO has the right to say what she feels, and I dont agree with "but she must say it in the right place" ie here.
I think it was a little ill-judged to say it under her real name, though, and I hope she doesnt regret it.

I have absolutely no time for JSP's rudeness though - that is so not how to respond to an invitation. Yes, she's famous, blah, blah, she gets loads of invitations - she should remember basic good manners.

Dirtgirl · 16/02/2010 19:22

It's a comment piece, and they're usually just a load of rubbish. A journo who needs to fill column inches, who has an over inflated ego and whose job it is to be opinionated about any random thing. Mumsnet just happens to be the easy target of the moment. The journo may have been a mumsnetter once and thought it useful to take an angle that the site is bitchy, just to create an article.

Perhaps Bonsoir is right in that Justine et al knew there was an article being written. I doubt they sanctioned what was being said. I'm struggling to care tbh. I'm more in the school of thought that it is 'fuck it that'll do' school of journalism - just fill the space up rather than a conspiracy to promote mumsnet. But then I'm a lazy cynic and that's my attitude when I have to write stuff.

[trots back to fence sitting lurker status].

SpeedyGonzalez · 16/02/2010 21:18

I've read the article and most of the first page of comments. I was prepared to roll my eyes at this, but having read it now, sadly I think there's quite a lot of truth in what's been said by both the journo and the comment writers. But I think the responsibility is not with MN Towers, it lies with us, and it doesn't benefit us to sweep criticism under the carpet.

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