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back to work 7 hours after birth

77 replies

MummyElk · 08/02/2010 12:44

here
any thoughts? there's prob stuff in AIBU too about this but at work so being quick!!
i'm a bit and ??
i wouldn't have trusted me to do ANYTHING with any degree of responsbility (apart from look after DD of course) at 7 hrs post birth?!

OP posts:
Heathcliffscathy · 08/02/2010 14:37

erm...the division of work and homelife is what's done for us in the western world. whilst this seems extreme, i imagine there are countless examples every minute of children being born to mothers who continue to do the (often hard physical) work they have to do to survive almost immediately.

I think in any decent society including non-western nuclear ones a new born and mother should be allowed some time together to bond and learn to feed and recuperate from birth.

however i do also think that the separation of children from our working lives is not necessarily a good thing, that it would be great for us all to be able to take our children with us while we were being productive adults as happens in many many societies to this day (why do you think slings and carrying are so prevalent in some societies!).

VinegarTits · 08/02/2010 14:49

'I think it would probably be nice for her other 2 children if she spent some time with them whilst they adjusted to another sibling, rather than focussing on the school/pupils'

am assuming her other dc would be at school while she is at work anyway, so this wouldnt be possible

RockbirdandHerSpork · 08/02/2010 14:59

"oh rockbird you really are funny with your 'figure os speeches' "

Thanks . Why so aggressive? Jeez...

VinegarTits · 08/02/2010 15:09

i think you will see i made a joke about the handbag Rockbird

Why are you so aggressive? i noticed you were towarsd coldtits on the other thread too?

RockbirdandHerSpork · 08/02/2010 15:27

OK, I apologise. I read your response, then read coldtits' and got the hump. I'm sorry. I did like your handbag reference but was too stropped up by then

Undercovamutha · 08/02/2010 17:27

Her DC2 is only 3 so I would imagine she's not in school, but I guess she may be.
I guess my point was that a baby is a new addition to the FAMILY not just the mother.

nancydrewrocks · 08/02/2010 17:50

Avril but most babies do not have reflux. Presumably your baby did and that impacted on your decision if/when to return to work. Fine. It is about personal choices in personal circumstances.

cory · 08/02/2010 20:02

Can I confess that I did work when my baby was newborn. That is to say, I proofread some of my own research while dd was asleep.

No different to reading a women's magazine while the baby slept- or do people think that shouldn't be allowed either?

If this woman lives on site and took the baby with her, would talking about work issues with her staff really be any worse than having a good gossip with a friend who looked in at the hospital. Or are you not allowed to talk either when you've just had a baby?

The only thing that makes me slightly about this is that as a headmistress she may be putting pressure on the staff to do the same.

CrystalTits · 09/02/2010 14:46

Perhaps I missed the point of the article - but I thought she went back into school the same day to show off her new baby, not to go to work.

flibbertywidget · 09/02/2010 19:14

Maybe she is all of the above things, but maybe she is also an experienced mum, who has given birth 3 times over, relatively easily and felt that she could manage going back to work.

Sounds to me like it wasn't physical activity and she probably had a few meetings and drank tea. Does the fact that she sat in a few meetings mean she was paying any less attention to her baby or meeting her needs? - I found it tough to meet my second LO's needs with a toddler in tow, right after the birth! - hope that doesn't make me selfish .

Personally, it isn't something I would want to do. But I do think good for her to give the girls she teaches a good view of "motherhood" in all of its glory, something, sadly, that most girls/women don't ever see these days and as pointed out, help remove stigma relating to childbirth, as if it is a disease and breastfeeding. And if it can help stem the rising tide of teenage pregnancies that that is a positive thing.

To play devils advocate, how is going into "work" different from having to look after her other two kids, house etc right after the birth? - Frankly, having to do that is harder (IMO). No one gives us two weeks off from that work (and no, paternity leave still doesn't alleviate that issue - in my experience )

Many women around the world have to go back to work, or give birth whilst working and then go back to it. Sadly, they have no choice in the matter. I wouldn't call them selfish.

I think this is a relatively unique situation. You certainly wouldn't find me going back to work. I am dreading having to go back after 6 months and if anything I am more knackered now than I was immediately after the birth.

Paolosgirl · 09/02/2010 19:37

She obviously did feel that she could go back to work - why she would want to is a completely different matter. I don't know anyone else who has had a baby who has immediately (OK, 7 hours later) thought, I simply MUST get back to work - it simply becomes very unimportant at that incredibly early stage. I've got 3 children, and work was just as unimportant after DC3 was born as it was when DC1 was born. I also don't recall doing anything other than lie in bed, trying to establish breastfeeding - buggar anything else, let alone work.

You're right - there are plenty of women who have to go back to work around the world. We can only hope that one day they have the same rights as we do. In the meantime, we should rejoice in the fact that we do recognise the importance of a newborn within the family and society by the maternity leave and pay that we do have.

From what I heard on JV, she wasn't just in for a short time to show off the baby - and as I said earlier, I think she's setting a very unfortunate precedent for all her staff. I would absolute hate for this to be seen as an 'example' of anything else other than lunacy, and God help us if the politicians decide that returning to work within hours of having a baby should be promoted as a 'choice'.

RubysReturn · 09/02/2010 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paolosgirl · 09/02/2010 20:24

And then spending time being interviewed by the media...hmm, think I'd be asking for that discount!

cory · 09/02/2010 20:38

But Paolosgirl, for some of us work is what we do for entertainment and relaxation. The other new mums read women's magazines and watched TV: for me, work-related stuff filled that same function.

Agree about setting a precedent though.

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 09/02/2010 20:52

I enjoy my job, the chat, the sense of achievement and the pay cheque as much as the next person - but 7 hours after giving birth? Nah.

aoifesmama · 09/02/2010 21:05

I love my job, which is also pastoral care in a secondary school (non boarding) and I did take DD in when she was just under 2 weeks old for the day to show her off to my friends and pupils. BUT spent the day with people helping/my best friend in school who is DD's godmother on hand etc.

I then went in and out without her for odd days until my return when she was 7 months, but there is no way I could have done my job properly with DD there, never mind looked after her. I know she was my PFB rather than 3rd baby, but in secondary schools, particularly the pastoral side, which the head must oversee, you work in a reactive role where the pupil in your care must come first at the time...I don't think its possible to do with a baby in your arms. And even less possible when that baby becomes a crawling/giggling/standing little devil!

mrsbaldwin · 10/02/2010 10:07

Paolosgirl: you said - "I don't know anyone else who has had a baby who has immediately (OK, 7 hours later) thought, I simply MUST get back to work - it simply becomes very unimportant at that incredibly early stage."

You do know someone now, in a virtual sort of way - me! I'm pleased to be able to tell you (and everyone else) I was on the phone, chasing invoices and talking to my accountant on Day 4 after giving birth. But funnily enough the baby (now 1) seems fine (and if he grows up showing a weird tendency towards spreadsheets, so much the better)! And for the record, for me personally, I can honestly say I've had no moment over the last year at which work has become very unimportant.

kitcat1977 · 10/02/2010 11:01

Her reasoning doesn't work for me:

'Most mothers want their daughters to have the exhilarating excitement of a career they love and the joy of a family. I have that and I want to show the girls at St Mary?s that that is not an impossible dream.?

What she's neglecting to demonstrate to her students is that careers that allow you to rear your baby in the work environment are virtually non-existent. She also acknowledges that she's very lucky to be in a situation that does allow her to do so (not sure if the baby's so lucky) - so what is her point exactly?

I'm a teacher and physically could not have my baby in my classroom. Neither would I want to. And where would I breastfeed? Looking at other careers - I'd be distinctly unimpressed if my GP was trying to attend to a baby whilst dealing with me and mine.

In fact, what I think she's saying is that employers need to be more baby-friendly: agreed, but isn't that kind of obligation going to make the employment of women of childbearing age an even less appealing prospect?

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 10/02/2010 16:39

MrsBaldwin - as Paolosgirl with a name change - you obviously think along the same lines as the Head, which means that I now know of a whole 2 of you!

Cadelaide · 10/02/2010 16:52

Oh she's just an over-excited post-natal show-off.

I wonder whether she'll regret it in later years? They're tiny for such a very short time and I wouldn't want to waste a moment of that peering at a computer screen or whatever. (MNing excepted, of course).

mrsbaldwin · 10/02/2010 17:16

You will be glad to know they paid the invoices!

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 10/02/2010 18:05

They probably realised that there would be little point in arguing with a post-partum, hormone-laden woman!

mrsbaldwin · 10/02/2010 18:37

Grin Grin

oldenglishspangles · 11/02/2010 01:12

Think it is completely selfish so soon after the birth. What about baby having time to bond?

TinyPawz · 11/02/2010 02:08

That woman needs to get a fucking grip of her senses.

Raving lunatic