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Original poster

back to work 7 hours after birth

77 replies

MummyElk · 08/02/2010 12:44

here
any thoughts? there's prob stuff in AIBU too about this but at work so being quick!!
i'm a bit and ??
i wouldn't have trusted me to do ANYTHING with any degree of responsbility (apart from look after DD of course) at 7 hrs post birth?!

OP posts:
ToccataAndFudge · 08/02/2010 13:45

"I think, if at all possible, you owe it to the baby you've just brought into the world to concentrate solely on it till at least the end of the day it's born."

that only works for the 1st born child, subsequent children invariably tend to make demands on time as well.

nancydrewrocks · 08/02/2010 13:48

This is a very unique set of circumstances. In essesnce the school is her home and I would suspect she considers the girls who board there as very much members of her extended family. To that end I think it is quite appropriate that she has chosen to share the post birth experience with the girls that she has a huge interest in and duty of care to.

That being said this is sort of arrangement is clearly only going to work for a tiny minority of woman and whilst I applaud her for doing what she wants I feel uncomfortable with her comments re showing the girls they can have it all - that idea remains as unrealistic as ever for most.

Birth is not a horrific experience for most woman and plenty of woman manage perfectly well, physically and emotionally in the days and months following the arrival of their baby. This idea that a woman pushes her brain and abilities out with the baby does woman as much of a diservice as the notion that all woman should be back in the boardroom ten dasys post partum.

RockbirdandHerSpork · 08/02/2010 13:53

Point taken Toccata, but the attention does tend to be on the newborn, even if siblings are butting in. I just feel so sorry for this child bundled up and taken out to work at a few hours old. I don't see anything to applaud, she's not giving any positive messaage. She's playing into some people's hands who already think that women get too much special treatment after having a baby. She's saying that this baby isn't important enough to even take a few moments out to concentrate on. I wouldn't be seriously unimpressed if a teacher at DD's school did this as a statement.

nancy, your final paragraph works in an argument about working mothers but we are talking 7 hours after birth.

ajandjjmum · 08/02/2010 13:56

If she lives on site, the school is probably like an extended family anyway. Her house may be literally yards from her office. It's not like she has a 20 mile drive and works 9 til 5. Also, it was her 3rd baby. Lucky to have a little angel though!

Lymond · 08/02/2010 13:58

Rockbird said: She's playing into some people's hands who already think that women get too much special treatment after having a baby.

Possibly. That is the side of this that does make me uncomfortable. But ultimately it is her (and her governors and DH's) decision.

Rockbird said: She's saying that this baby isn't important enough to even take a few moments out to concentrate on.

No, I think this baby is being fawned over by 300 girls, 30 staff, and her immediate family, in the way that my DC4 was fawned over by 2 different toddler groups, and a class of 7 year olds doing ballet, at 5 days old when we were out of hospital and we were resuming normal life taking his older siblings to their activities.

GhoulsAreLoud · 08/02/2010 13:59

Other children demand attention, yes. But he job wasn't demanding her attention - she's chosen to spend the first day of her child's life at work.

ToccataAndFudge · 08/02/2010 14:03

oh I can assure that living on site on a school even if you're not "at work" it still demands your attention. I've done the living on site at a boarding school and it is a really very unique life.

GhoulsAreLoud · 08/02/2010 14:04

So what demanded that she be back at her study by lunchtime? From the article it seems very much like a choice, not a commitment she couldn't get out of.

GhoulsAreLoud · 08/02/2010 14:06

"I felt absolutely brilliant so I thought: why not share that?"

Her choice.

AvrilHeytch · 08/02/2010 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ladymarian · 08/02/2010 14:13

Heard this on JV earlier.

I think she is mental and I actually think it is a BAD example to her female students.

nancydrewrocks · 08/02/2010 14:13

Rockbird - she lives and works in a very unusual environment. If my place of work was also my home I can well imagine a situation where I might wander over 7 hours after the birth to show off my darling new baby. The girls she works with are not just colleagues, she has a very special and unique relationship with them. I think her actions make sense. the way in which the story was reported however did not.

LeninGrad · 08/02/2010 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ToccataAndFudge · 08/02/2010 14:17

no I'm not talking about her commitments, I'm talking about just the way of life when you live on site.

Whereas you or I may step out of our front door and take a short walk to the shop, to pick the children up from school or whatever - she will walk out of her front door and is already at work.

Indeed from memories of the head, deputy head and housemasters at the school I worked at they were often called upon while "off" work.

The school environment becomes your extended family, it's a massive part of your life - and indeed it will be a huge part of her children's lives as well purely because of the fact that she lives on site.

Rantagonist · 08/02/2010 14:19

Ghouls, her choice yes, but what kind of a person would chose to be at work instead of bonding with their baby on their first day in the world? I couldn't give a rats arse whether it's her third or sixth, the baby didn't seem to be important enough to take time to get to know.

GhoulsAreLoud · 08/02/2010 14:20

I wonder why she bothered to phone the newspapers about this if it's just a simple case of her spending a bit of time with her newborn and her extended family?

GhoulsAreLoud · 08/02/2010 14:20

Rantagonist, I agree with you!

ToccataAndFudge · 08/02/2010 14:24

I'll say it AGAIN - when you are in a situation such as hers you are always "at work".

If she had other children at home she wouldn't be able to spend the first day getting to "know" her baby any better at home than she would at work.

Actually I reckon it would be easier at work as you only have your one child with you .

Seriously - apart from the legal aspect of this I'm rapidly falling on the "so what" side of the fence.

GhoulsAreLoud · 08/02/2010 14:25

Yes, you've already said it. Why do you keep saying it?

trice · 08/02/2010 14:26

I think she is lucky to have a job where she can take the baby along and get lots of help and childcare while she is at work. I am a bit envious of her workplace really.

I am self employed and work from home; I answered a few emails and such the day after I had dd. She was fast asleep in a sling so I don't think she was terribly damaged.

I think JK wanted to pitch her as a heartless career bitch but she sounded lovely to me.

VinegarTits · 08/02/2010 14:27

'think of the baby she's shoved in her handbag. Poor little scrap'

oh rockbird you really are funny with your 'figure os speeches'

maybe she has a large, comfy designer handbag and baby is quite snug in there

ToccataAndFudge · 08/02/2010 14:30

who says she called the newspapers?

was a local rag that picked it up first - could have been any number of people that told them about the story.

DM then took it 4 days later.

So she was back in her study - probably answering the phone, reading emails and letters.

Imagine the headlines

"mother goes home and 7hrs later opens her post, checks her emails, posts her birth story on Mumsnet , rings a couple of friends to let them know her news and then goes and does school run with the baby to "show" her off"

ToccataAndFudge · 08/02/2010 14:31

because some people still don't seem to get it.

Shall I go through the thread and pick out how many times people have repeated the same point??

GhoulsAreLoud · 08/02/2010 14:32

No, maybe she didn't phone them but she still agreed to be featured in the paper with this story which is no different IMO.

So what is the point of the article? None, presumably. Going to meetings and expecting your newborn baby to wait for a breastfeed until your meeting is over is perfectly ordinary.

Undercovamutha · 08/02/2010 14:33

I think the way it has been reported seems to completely ignore the crucial fact that she lives at the school! Also, she's the boss. This surely makes a huge difference - its not like she's commuting for hours, and keeping the baby in her desk drawer.

I can't see how she is doing the baby any harm - as I'm sure its perfectly happy cuddled up in a sling next to its mummy. And I also agree that it may actually be more relaxing going into work with a baby strapped to you, than staying at home with 2 young children and a baby to look after (although not quite sure how you get your 'baby-brain' into gear to get any work done)!

However, I think it would probably be nice for her other 2 children if she spent some time with them whilst they adjusted to another sibling, rather than focussing on the school/pupils.