I fully intend to do this for my mother if she needs it and she's looking to move to the street next to mine at the moment (lives 200 miles away at the moment).
I have had it in mind since we lost my dad 11 years ago. Seeing my mum so vulnerable made me realise that it was my responsibility if there comes a time when she can't cope.
My older brother wouldn't want to and though he's lovely he is a bit feckless so I'd prefer it was me.
I do have the advantage of a frank relationship with my mum. I can say exactly how I feel about anything and we will eventually reach a resolution. I have had to work on that though.
Ideally she's live in sheltered housing and I'd go every day, but she's welcome in my house if necessary. My ds1 has special needs that may mean he's always with us, but we'd fit them in as long as the other 2 move out!
I have no issue with wiping bottems or anything like that.I did work experience in an old people's home when I was 14 and they put me in the incontinent section. If I can wipe stranger's bums I can do my mum's.
My inlaws are another matter. Would they want me to care for them in a personal way? I'd certainly visit them every day, doo laundry and so on, but personal care? My dh would do it if they'd let him, but I'm not sure if they'd let either of us do it. They have enough funds to pay for carers so I imagine they might prefer that.
We have the wonderful eg of my mil who looked after her mum (not in her own house though) for years, despite her mum being a deeply unpleasant women. She and fil did it because they have a deeply ingrained sense of duty. They'd no more not care for their family, whatever their disposition, than they would step over an injured stranger. Great Gran made everyone's life miserable for years, but when she was frail and old someone had to look after her and sort stuff out.
We have had a lot of babysitting, though never childcare as we didn't need it. I don't think they really did it out of a sense of duty-they do it because they adore their grandchildren. I am really lucky. I do tend to ask friends instead though because I don't like pil to stay up late and I want to see my mum when she comes to stay.
There are so many exceptions to this situation that I fail to see how it can be a matter for the law. I do think that perhaps it's the kind of thing that people need to be encouraged to talk about and plan for. I really need to get dh to talk to pil.
I would hope my kids would want to care for me, but I hope that I'm financially secure enough to not make it a n ecessity because they might emigrate or soemthin g. This worries me about ds1-if he never becomes independent who will look after him when I'm dead? His brother and sister I hope, but I would like to win the lottery just in case they can't.