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Station staff refused to help her carry buggy so she went to the papers. Has she got a point?

197 replies

Spidermama · 30/11/2009 15:56

Here.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Part of me thinks there must be lifts for disabled people she could have used but maybe I'm being unsisterly. I kind of feel sorry for the staff who've been blamed and find themselves in the paper.

What do you think?

OP posts:
tethersend · 01/12/2009 11:10

I'm not saying they (or you) don't, 2shoes- I am just surprised by people who wouldn't offer help out of principle. That's what I find sad.

Unless I've got that wrong....? [hopeful emoticon]

tethersend · 01/12/2009 11:12

Ooooh, how very Victorian of you, Laquitar...

AvrilH · 01/12/2009 11:12

The really thing for me, is that I only remember helping someone else with a pushchair down steps once. I have a suspicion that before I had a baby, I just would not have noticed the person with the pram approaching steps, and probably needing a hand. I'd always have been more than happy to help, if asked, and I'm sure there are lots of people like that.

2shoes · 01/12/2009 11:18

tethersend don't think it is on principle, wouldn't that mean I think they should just manange? I would just think of my back and my leg(for some odd reson lifting dd has given me a dodgy leg) so I wouldn't do it.

Laquitar · 01/12/2009 11:25

2shoes,
i think that coment was for me not for you.

And yes it is the principle aswell for me because help is nice if it comes but you cannot demand it.
And i love the word 'victorian' on mn

AvrilH · 01/12/2009 11:30

Of course you should ask for help if you need it. What would you have us do, stand in the rain post c-section, clutching a newborn in one hand while trying to collapse a pram with the other, and contain toddlers at the same time?

And of course 2shoes, or tethersend, or anyone else who has problems of their own that would make helping different should politely decline to help.

what kind of a world would iut be if we could not rely on the kindness of strangers who can help?

GooseyLoosey · 01/12/2009 11:34

A healthy adult with a 10 week old baby should not need help to get on a train. Would be nice if some was offered, but if not, get on with it.

I regularly used to travel on public transport with a small baby and an 18mnth old. You manage. Any help is very gratefully received but never, ever expected - they are my children and my responsibility

AvrilH · 01/12/2009 11:49

I don't think the woman in question was reasonable to be outraged when help was refused, but she was right to ask for it.

tethersend · 01/12/2009 11:56

Agree Avril... If the worst thing that happens during your day is that someone with a pram asks you for help, then you're having a pretty good day.

I have a bad back, but offer to help others because it helps my back when someone carries the other end of my buggy. What goes around, comes around if you like.

Laquitar, asking for help is different to demanding it. And 'Victorian' as an adjective is sorely underused on mn IMO

mustrunmore · 01/12/2009 12:02

Just read the posts since I put mine on, and I'm really suprised that some of you have said if she'd had a c section then yes, she would need help. After 10 weeks? That would be a section with huge complications, surely? I had a very bad one and a very good one. Back to normal max 3 weeks after the good one, 4 weeks after the bad (in terms of getting about and coping).
Sorry that this is off the point somewhat!

tethersend · 01/12/2009 12:09

"Back to normal max 3 weeks after the good one, 4 weeks after the bad (in terms of getting about and coping)."

I had a cs, and was the same mustrunmore- but I was only just coping. I was very sore. I think they tell you to wait 6 weeks before driving? (Don't drive, so not sure on this).

Help with the buggy was nice, it... helped

mustrunmore · 01/12/2009 12:12

I dont drive either. Maybe thats how come we recovered 6 weeks quicker than other people??!! . I remeber pushing the buggy up a very steep hill to go out for a meal, about 6 days after having ds1; about a 20min walk. I was so proud of myself, I'll never forget that! But I guess I was a bit precious about getting on buses, people clearing out of the way so my monster buggy could come through etc. Although at one point I had a 3 wheeler with a fixed front wheel and omg it was hard to change direction, so I often did have to stay on a straight course on paths!

Peachy · 01/12/2009 12:25

'what happens if the wheelchair is bigger than small then?'

Misdee, I wondered that. Maybe they swap rooms about- there'snor esources there and its one set of rooms from a good hundred or so. I think it should be bigger but I do think they have other options IYSWIM.

Peachy · 01/12/2009 12:26

MRM ah it can't be the not driving deary, I drive and I did a school collect for ds3 on the afternoon ds4 was born

(it was his first day full time, he ahs SN and I had promised. But it was fine (ish))

mustrunmore · 01/12/2009 12:28

Very impressive! But not a section, surely?!

Peachy · 01/12/2009 12:30

LOLNo not a section (and only a 5 minute walk).

Not much feeling in legs though- think I invented the odd position I delivered on the carpet in,took about a week before my legs felt anything again (not sure whetehr to LOL or wince)

mustrunmore · 01/12/2009 12:31

Still very commendable

tethersend · 01/12/2009 12:40

Phew, peachy; thought it was a section too!

I had visions of this turning into a Monty Python-esque endurance thread:

"2 days' rest before you did the school run on a unicycle? You were lucky..."

MsDoctor · 01/12/2009 12:46

I flew home with 3 dcs and pregnant with no help lifting my cases or pushing them (All four of them) and my pushchair. YOU do manage, but people have stopped being kind. MOSt adults would help when they see a woman struggling up stairs with a pushchair, don't they?

MsDoctor · 01/12/2009 12:46

wouldn't they?

tethersend · 01/12/2009 13:21

I would!

Stayingsunnygirl · 01/12/2009 13:24

I would assume that even if this woman was never planning to travel by public transport, she must have considered the possibility of encountering stairs when out and about with her buggy, and should have brought a buggy that she could take up and down stairs if necessary - but maybe this is an unfair assumption.

I had lodged with a friend who had 5 children, and had been out and about with them a lot, using buggies and prams, so when I got pregnant the first time, I knew what things were important to me, but if you've never actually had to use a buggy for any length of time, I can quite understand that you mightn't realise how important it is to get a buggy that you can fold easily (with one hand, in case you have a second child later on), that you can get up and downstairs alone, and (for me) that has swivel wheels at the front, so you don't do your back in heaving the buggy round corners!

We never asked for any assistance when buying any of the buggies we used for the dses, so I don't know how much advice expectant parents get from shop assistants, nor how useful it is - but on more than one occasion I have seen couples being shown a huge buggy with fixed wheels, and have wondered if I should go up and share my 'wisdom' with them.

I do think she was being a bit of a princess, as others have said. If she had had any health issues that meant she couldn't carry or bump the buggy up the stairs herself, then I am sure the Sun would have mentioned it, as it would have made the station staff look even worse. I do also abhor the apparent culture of complaining to the press before speaking to the organisation concerned, and giving them an opportunity to apologise/sort the issue out.

Oblomov · 01/12/2009 13:34

SIBU.
To go to the papers ? To 'expect' the staff. No, she should have planned better. Dh and I had to do all sorts of things when ds2 was a tiny newborn. She is unrealistic.

Peachy · 01/12/2009 13:37

I can't fold any buggy with one hand (and I have 4 kids so have tried a fair few!)

It'snot becuase I have health issues- just that I am clumsy cow with the muscle strength of a jelly.

RockBird · 01/12/2009 13:48

I'm amazed at how resentful and unhelpful some of you are tbh. So she didn't sit for hours on end silently contemplating every single situation that she would get herself into? So she probably just went into Mothercare and had a 3 minute demo like most of the rest of parents to be. So shoot her.

Of course she can't expect to be helped. In fact these days you absolutely can't expect to be helped because if she came across one of you lot you'd have to stand there working out whether you'd had it tougher than her? FFS if you see someone struggling and you are in a position to help, why would you not?

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