"Breastfeeding is oppressing women" (from The Guardian)

[morningpaper]

Let the breastfeeding rebellion begin

"In the 70s, many women protested that they were shackled to domesticity by the unreasonably high bar set for housework. Now, some say, it's not the vacuum cleaner that's oppressing women, but another sucking sound ..."

But but but but

This is a depressing article.

A British academic wouldn't give her name "because she is concerned about attacks from the pro-breastfeeding lobby"

I also fidn it really annoying when people say "I really tried to breastfeed for six days and it didn't work" - By six days lots of women will be in agony. The message that if you haven't got it cracked by six days then it hasn't worked - is just wrong.

And if there is such enormous pressure to exclusively breastfeed then why are only 3% of mothers still doing it at 5 months?

Yes women will feel guilty if they don't breastfeed. Women have the chance to feel guilty if they don't do a million things that are 'optimal' for their children's health and wellbeing. We can all agree that women need more support in the transition to motherhood, by setting up this monster of a pro-breastfeeding lobby is utterly unhelpful.

Having children BLOWS for women - your fanjo is shot to pieces, your career goes down the shitter, you piss yourself every time you sneeze, you lose your pension rights, your brain turns to mush, you have no social standing, boys stop grinning at your in the street - but BREASTFEEDING IS STILL THE OPTIMAL WAY TO FEED YOUR BABIES. You can't un-do that boring fact. And handing women a bottle isn't going to make everything better.

Ooh, no, I haven't - will go and look. Thanks, Herc.

Sorry this is totally off-topic but fivecandles there was a (not terribly brilliant) comedy on channel 4 a while back called plusone which featured totally normal bfing. The mother was the sister of one of the main charecters so bfing had absolutely nothing to do with the main plot, it was just there as though it were normal, which it should be, but on TV is very, very rare. The mum left ebm with her gay ex when he babysat so she could go out on a date but there was a tin of SMA in one of the background shots. It just struck me as strange that a woman who bf and pumped would have tins of formula lying around, maybe the product placement people hadn't thought about it...

i would be suprised if the journo who wrote the article find hood opressive shes prob one of the back to work at 6 weeks club...now theres another debate entirely

well said thebody you had the wangers to say what i couldnt
sorry about your friends son

motherhood

Thebody: Sorry for your loss.

When I was pregnant, women in their 80s and 90s in church were coming up to me and retelling in graphic detail their birth stories.

When I was breastfeeding, several older women openly told me about their own grief about not having breastfed, and how angry they'd been with their midwives at the time - 40 and 50 years ago.

Motherhood is so personally defining - these experiences, good and bad, stay with you to the grave.

thanks for this debate morning paper

Some b/feeders get really irked by the idea that a f/f child can be as healthy as theirs, when they've battled so hard to b/feed. Don't you reckon, foreverchanges?

I dont mean to be rude but as usual women seem intent upon making themselves feel guilty for no good reason.
Men would never turn on each other like this or make so much of an issue like feeding.
I strongly feel that it really DOESNT matter in the scheme of things if you bf or bottle feed as long as you love and care for your baby.

If women want to beat themselves up then thats up to them.. Hercules, feeding children really SHOULDNT be a huge part in a childs life.. its just food.. love, care attention, empathy are far more important.

Dittany, you have got it spot on in the posts above [applause emoticon]

The question I'd like to ask the Guardian is: why are you so drawn to publish articles that set up the notion of groups of warring women who are 'oppressing' one another with their intolerance of one another's choices? Breastfeeders vs. formula feeders, WOHMs vs. SAHMs, make-up wearers vs. those who think it's pointless... it's far more convenient and appealing to present all these things as a huge issue on which women take one of two sides and bitterly resent the opposing group, because that supports our current patriarchal social system much better than anything which might invite women to say 'Why am I constantly being made to feel bad about what I do, whatever it is, and why am I led to blame that on other 'intolerant' women who do something different to me, instead of the male establishment in whose interests it is to keep me feeling inadequate and second-class so that I have to try even harder to be a 'real' woman, whatever that is?' [takes deep breath after very long sentence]

Short version of the above: I blame the media. And patriarchy.

But food is, always has been and always will a big part of our lives with our children. THat goes for people who formula feed or breastfeed.

That's good drowning. Missed that. We need more though. And more mainstream. As I say featuring a character in a popular soap bfeeding would do more than any amount of midwives etc.

I think the point about it being 'oppressive' is not that the feeding is itself but the pressure to do or not do it. I think that's probably true. I think women's judgement of other women is enormously powerful and oppressive in this and all other subjects - appearance, feeding, to work or SAH. Lots of evidence here.

This combined with the way society is geared up or not geared up for bfeeding mothers or mothers at all. And the economic pressure to get back to work.

With my first baby I didn't realize that it was possible to work during the day and bfeed when you got home. Only worked that one out with number 2 which meant I could keep going for a year although I went back to work at 6 months. I am and was very informed but there's still such a lack of people to talk to who are actually going or have recently been through the same thing.

With bfeeding also as with birth I was shocked amazingly so at how suddenly having been pretty successful at everything I did and living in quite an academic world everything was suddenly so based on the PHYSICAL and INSTINCTIVE when most of us spend most of our time being trained away from these things IYSWIM. I was shocked that although it was so shockingly 'natural' it didn't come naturally. Such a weird set of things going on.

Women still taught to be sort of ashamed by their bodies. That whole thing about fat and being hairless and having perfectly shaped tits and so on. So far removed from the act of breastfeeding.

And just the whole concept of simply sitting. I remember being incredibly frustrated by that.

Sorry just random thoughts. This is all bringing back memories...

Hunkermunker. 'grief and helplessness' ABOUT BF. sorry thats just ridiculous and totally self indulgent..

There are 2 boxes in the little red book for kids; 1 for breast-fed and 1 for formula-fed.

The HV ticks breast-fed for my pal who is breast-feeding and gave me a cross in formula for formula-fed.

It doesn't matter, there is no deep meaning to it, the HV doesn't think I am a bad Mum (well, I don't know that for sure ). I just notice it and for a second a small part of me remembers the overwhelming sadness when it all failed to come together and DS was in hospital being rehydrated on a drip.

Those boxes are stupid anyone. I mixed fed for 6 months, what box did I fit in to?

I can honestly say it isnt a big part in my or my childrens life..!! talking, laughing, going out together, school and work yes.. food.. no..

yes of course a bottle fed child can be healthy ,but i wanted to give my child my natural immunity and the special protiens and amino acids only bf can give.also allergies were an issue in my family .
neither of y children have any allergies so far in life amd only have have had antibiotics once dd for an ear infection they are 5 and 6

Can you see that although it isnt a big part of your own particular life that doesnt mean it isnt for other people? Just look at the number of threads on this site about breast/bottle feeding.

Does it irk you then, fc, the idea that there are very many children out there who have never had antibiotics either and have never been breastfed? Or are you just happy that those children have thrived?

Thebody: Whether we like it or not, breastfeeding is arguably, in some ways, the most natural and primal bonding experience a woman can have (perhaps second only to pregnancy and birth).

Mothers who attempts are thwarted for whatever reason are UNDERSTANDABLE upset about it. Those feelings of sadness are NORMAL.

You seem want to pathologise those feeling as ridiculous and self-indulgent. You are the only person on this thread that appears to want to do so.

I would suggest that, in name-calling women who are being honest about their feelings, you are being rather cruel and lacking empathy.

Crikey. I'm constantly amazed by the complexity that some people find in breastfeeding. I found it such a total non-event.

of course it doesnt 'irk' me ffs
do you think i would love to see unhealthy ff kids just to ake me feel great that i breast fed
what planet are you on ?

you see Morning papet there you go again with words like 'primeval and bonding' so we will have lots of womem now feeling if they bonded enough or were primeval enough!!!! I am sorry if I appear a little matter of fact but thats my opinion.. Too much is pontificated upon regarding birth and feeding.and ALL of it makes some woman out there feel guilty or wrong in some way..

i found bf to be THE best experience of my life .hurrah for diversity we are all so different and i think thats fine its ok there are more important things but feeding a child and weaning are important things at the time