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Original poster

back to work 5 days after c-section

162 replies

Gorionine · 07/01/2009 09:27

She IS back at work today!

It was comfirmed in the French news this morning (RTL Radio) that she was indeed due back to work this afternoon.

Anyone thinking that it is not really serving the cause of women (asside from not being a very good idea medically) or am I out of order? I am not quite sure what she is trying to achieve as her reasons is not likely to be "because she needs the money" which I could probably undertand better, although it would still sadden me thad she'd have to.

OP posts:
Bubbaluv · 08/01/2009 12:45

LittleBella, There is no idication that she is doing anything physically demanding at all. Probably easier than being at home! Further, I bet she would get a faster response from emergency services when in the government offices than she would at home.

randomcupsoftea · 08/01/2009 12:56

It's harder work looking after your child at home than having helpers & going to work.

imho it's fine she's doing what she wants but what gets me is that she's doing this without her baby. Babies are so portable & carrying & bf on demand mean that the baby wont be crying but tucked up happy with its mum.

BonsoirAnna · 08/01/2009 14:04

Yes, let's take advantage of your maternity leave for a Paris meet-up

spicemonster · 08/01/2009 14:23

I am also a single mother of 43 (slightly less beautiful sadly) with an established career. My career totally died when I was on maternity leave - I was passed over for promotion and then sidelined. I've now moved to another company where I have accepted that I will never reach the goals I had set for myself. You need to earn enough to have fabulous childcare in which case you don't see your children.

My sister went back to work 3 weeks after she had her daughter after immense pressure from her employers. She has never stopped regretting it (and her daughter is now 19).

RD is right - if she wants to carry on her career, she's done the right thing. Doesn't make it any less disappointing

BonsoirAnna · 08/01/2009 14:25

"You need to earn enough to have fabulous childcare in which case you don't see your children."

Yup, this is the insoluble conundrum of modern motherhood .

spicemonster · 08/01/2009 14:30

Oh and it is not harder work staying at home than looking after children - if you have one NT child - it's different. Not harder. I wish SAHMs would stop saying that. It really gets on my tits - it's so unnecessarily divisive

BonsoirAnna · 08/01/2009 14:34

I don't understand your last post, spicemonster.

It's definitely much harder working outside the home than staying at home looking after children IME. But I think it's pretty individual.

spicemonster · 08/01/2009 14:37

Sorry - that was a response to randomcupsoftea's comment. I'm trying to multitask here - not very well it seems!

BonsoirAnna · 08/01/2009 14:41

Most of the Parisian women of my generation that I know who work FT (or 80%, which is very common here) have a full-time nounou (who does childcare and housework) plus two grandmothers living locally to help out with childcare. Which of course simplifies WOT hugely.

beforesunrise · 08/01/2009 14:49

well the problem is that working outside the home is on top of all the parenting, isn't it? it's the combination of the two that kills you. the logistical nightmare. the exhaustion of always having your head in two places. the commuting etc etc.

sure sitting at a desk for 8 hours is less physically exausting than playing with toddlers, but you still do that for at least another 4 hours a day, plus night time duties, plus commuting, plus arranging the childcare, plus organising the children's life etc.

i am sure that to many sahms it must look like bliss to put on your nice clothes and leave all the mayhem behind, and it is nice sometimes. but there's no denying that it is bloody hard work!!!

LittleBella · 08/01/2009 14:55

I presume she'll be being driven to work in a state limo though, so that will cut the physical exertion of commuting

TheCrackFox · 08/01/2009 14:57

She is working in a lovely office not working in a fish filleting factory and then dashing home to cook DCs dinner and clean the bathroom. Let's keep it into perspective.

Bubbaluv · 08/01/2009 16:28

Spicemonster, I think that the comments about what was "harder" SAHM vs WOHM was in response to suggestions that she was somehow at greater medical risk due to not staying home. So the point was that PHYSICALLY being in an office is generally less strenuous than being home, lugging a baby about and dealing with house work or at the very least it is no MORE strenuous.

beforesunrise · 08/01/2009 16:28

she is under the type of stress you cannot even begin to imagine. let's keep into perspective.

Bubbaluv · 08/01/2009 16:35

Also, not everyone regrets going back to work soon after the birth of thier child. My mother didn't after she had me and felt terribly resentful and found it hard to bond with me. She then started her own business so that after my sister was born (by cs) she could be back at work immediately and she was MUCH happier. Each to their own.

I think that the lack of allowance for different approaches demonstrated in this thread are much more detrimental to women than one woman's choice to go back to work ASAP. She doesn't do what we would do?.. better tear her down then.

randomcupsoftea · 08/01/2009 19:47

spicemonster - I don't understand your post about my comments?

I'm not commenting on the sahm/wohm debate (fwiw I think that everyone should do what they want if they have the choice) but trying to say that at home post c/s is tough but if you have helpers (I'm imagining she has help at home & outside home) it must be easier than being at home looking after your baby plus house plus life in general. I hope that makes sense.

I remember coming home post c/s & never sitting down as I had dd, school runs, household, everything to do. Co-slept with bf on demand. No nannies, drivers, shoppers, assistants.... Not a member of the govt though but I had a pressing project on the go that I had to succeed at as well as being a sahm.

emkana · 08/01/2009 23:28

What gets me is this:

I was bleeding like a pig (sorry) for definitely more than five days after the birth, and had to wear huge sanitary towels (sorry again). How can you put on smart clothes in those circumstances? Or is it different after a c/section?

finefatmama · 09/01/2009 01:36

After my 3rd cs, I stood up within 3 hours out of sheer boredom, then got kicked out of hospital in 54hours (and told i was lucky there wasn't a bed crisis otherwise i'd have been out in 48hrs) and was carrying the toddler and baby round the house in 72hrs. the 14mth old toddler not could do stairs and i had no help. stupid dh did not think it was a good time to take paternity leave as his job was at stake.
as a result of that, the I did bleed internally and the site re-opened. i don't think it is as scary as most people make it sound from my experience but I can tell you three things

-open infected wound site stinks like hell
-it may not kill you but you'll be amazed at what you can live through
-if you walk around stooped over and are unable to straighten up, don't put too many things that you really need on the top shelf and you can't look over your shoulder like normal

I would have done anything to back to work the next day just to avoid doing any work at home but it was illegal to work within 2 weeks of childbirth in the uk at the time probably still is.
I think everybody copes with pregnancy and childbirth differently and there is no one-size-fits all profile or pattern for motherhood. People have different cultures, backgrounds, outlooks, expectations, aspirations and personalities so they can't all cope with the same choice. i hope there is still a choice for women however different or unpopular it is from what everyone else would have chosen.

WinkyWinkola · 09/01/2009 09:27

You do get lochia (bleeding) after a section, IME, just as much as after a vaginal birth.

If she wants to go back to work immediately and that's what makes her happy, then so be it. But I hope she's physically strong enough after major surgery although was it an elective? She's probably in a bit better shape than if it had been an emergency section.

Doing too much too soon though can contribute to PND though. If I were her doctor, I'd be asking her to think more long term about her strength. Maybe she's super strong though? Who knows?

spicemonster · 09/01/2009 09:32

Sorry - randomcups - completely misunderstood what you meant. Am skimming a bit. Apologies.

I agree that everyone should be able to do what they want but I suppose I feel it's sending out a bit of a message that lying around after a CS is malingering. And I also find it hugely depressing that you have to return to work so quickly if you're doing that kind of job. It's a bad message for all of us (male and female) who are trying to strike a better work/life balance.

From a health perspective I could barely walk 5 days after my CS (had appalling SPD which got worse rather than better after giving birth), was bleeding heavily, got and infection and whatever those lumps in the scar are called. And I had a planned CS. I understand it gets easier after subsequent ones.

Bubbaluv · 09/01/2009 09:50

She clearly isn't suffering the same way that Spicemonster and others did though, and nor did I. I bled like a light period and had less pain than my normal period pain.

AuldAlliance · 09/01/2009 10:24

There's a whole blurb on it in the Guardian
here

The thin and glamorous bit doesn't bother me, and Dati has the right to lead her personal and professional life the way she wants, but I do still agree with those who say that it's not a very good example to send out to parents and the powers that be, especially at a time of massive cuts in public spending, as it suggests that maternity leave is not necessary for mother or baby. And in her public position, grinning at the massed cameras, she is inevitably sending out a message. She is a public figure and can't ignore that aspect of her role.

AuldAlliance · 09/01/2009 10:26

And it's hardly likely to improve the appalling BF record in France, sadly.

edam · 09/01/2009 10:27

No-one's business but hers except that it's in the newspapers so I'll give my opinion. Which is that she is barking.

cory · 09/01/2009 10:31

She must have got her bonding in double quick.

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