Should we choose the sex of our babies?

[MrsDoolittle]

Guardian article I have been thinking about this all morning (first day of annual leave) and I am interested to see how other mums feel about this. Should we not let nature decide this for us? So far I haven't been convinced by any of the arguements for it.

Using IVF to choose the sex would lead to fewer abortions, for instance.

I said I approve of it for family balancing. If you have a Girl and desperately want a boy ( or viceaversa) and your prepared to go through the pain of IVF then why not.
Most people want one of each anyway.

What happens in China is that women in some areas are now being Kidnapped to be wives for the boys who outnumber the girls! And this isn't hype, it is fact

Cori,

Who says?

Nope (in answer to thread title) - I find that a very sad concept.

Nobody should be allowed to have an abortion because a baby is not the sex they wanted & if they are that sick then they should NOT be having kids at all.

They don't in China, that is for sure. Or in some parts of the middle east

And I know I mentioned the woman who told me she wouldn't risk another baby because she would abort of she was having a boy but I honestly think she was one in a million (I hope so, at least). I don't believe it would lead to fewer abortions. I'm not sure when you can determine sex - is it 12 weeks? That's quite far into a pregnancy to decide you don't want the baby because it's the "wrong" sex.

Nope.

I have never heard anyone say in this country 'I only want boys' Or 'I only want girls'.

Though thats not the point.

China is a different story all together.

They don't normally tell you for sure, until your 18 - 20 wk scan, which is very far into the pregnancy & does not bear thinking about.

if I have another child I think I would probably prefer a boy, Cori. I think it's nice to have two of the same sex. (before I get lynched, it's only a mild preference, not anything so strong that it would be a huge factor in having another child).

You should have a child because you want a child, not a certain sex.

Family balancing? So if you have a boy, then your planned girl, what would you do if you then had an unplanned pregnancy?

I'm not aware of this "most people want one of each" theory.

neither am I tinker.

Several people I know have had a child of a particular sex and told me, while pregnant with the second, that they had a vague preference for another one of the same sex - because they knew what they were doing with boys/girls.

I'm same as mts - have a girl already, mildly hoping 2nd is a girl but am not bothered either way

I have 2 same sex children & VERY happy about it.
They adore each other & play with the same toys etc.
It annoys me that everyone presumes you must want one of each.

Suedonim - 'one blonde, one red-haired and one brunette child?' - hee hee, that's what I've got!! And before you ask, yes they all have the same father!!!

Thomcat - 'I find it hard enough to deal with the fact that it's okay to choose of you child should or should not be born if they have Down's syndrome' - I agree and I didn't have any testing for that whatsoever, not even the blood test because I knew there was no way I'd do anything about it and that if I had a child with whatever disability I'd still be blessed, I'd love that child as much as any other and you deal with what life sends you

Cori - 'Most people want one of each anyway' - is that right? Not sure it is - I've got 3 boys and would not swap them for any girl. If I had another one I'd actually like it to be a boy.

I don't understand (apart from medical reasons) why anyone would want to do this. YOu don't only get 'balance' through having one of each gender. Every child is an individual so you have balance even if you have 3 or 4 boys or 3 or 4 girls - no two of them are the same. The only reason I'd want a girl is so I could buy different clothes and for no other reason (oh and the fact that my boys might not be as willing to sit me on the toilet in my dotage as a girl might!) - not really very valid reasons though. I don't know how anyone could justify it. The thought of someone going through all of that just for a specific gender (and I bet for most women it would be a girl) is just sick, sick, sick imo.

We choose our partners hoping they'll pass on good genes, how is that so different?

We have the option to terminate (well past 24 weeks, in fact) if a severe disability is discovered, how is that so different?

Say you are a couple who need donor egg and sperm. Your candidate men donors are a business leader and an unemployed drug addict. Your candidate women donors are a 20 yr old with a PhD in bio-chemistry and a petty thief in prison. Who will you choose? Who in their right mind wouldn't choose the buisness leader and the PhD? In the hope that you'll get brains & leadership potential for your child. Why shouldn't you be allowed to choose? Why not try to shape your child a little if you can? Why is that so different?

There are people who terminate when they find they don't have the sex they want (that's quite late, at least 20 weeks, it's legal if awful). Preventing even a few of those late terminations is good enough reason for me.

I think it's very scarey, what next will we be able to decide? Not that far out from the super race ideas?

I'm repeating my previous post:

Yes if there is a genetic reason or very strong compassionate reason (like my friend who lost her baby girl and has since had two boys. She would like a third baby and really passionately wants a daughter ...until you've walked in her shoes how the hell could you know what it feels like)

I'm saddened that nobody has the compassion to accept that my bereaved friend should be able to choose a daughter.

I think that it is VERY different lljkk.

Ah th old question. There is an urban myth that Einstein was once aproached by a beautiful but very dumb woman, who sugested that they have sex and a child. She said, 'Imagine if the baby had your brains and my looks, what a combination' and Einstein said, 'But what it it were the other way around?'

Behaviour is far to compex an issue to put down to simple genetics. Much as I am loath to cite the Nazis (Godwins law and all that), they tried to do this in the second world war with the Leibesborn movement. 'Arian' SS offerers were encourages to bread with 'ratcialy pure' women to raise the master race. It all failed. they didn't ebven suceed in getting lots of blondes....eye and hair colour is not controled by a single gene

Breed! not bread!