Should we choose the sex of our babies?

[MrsDoolittle]

Guardian article I have been thinking about this all morning (first day of annual leave) and I am interested to see how other mums feel about this. Should we not let nature decide this for us? So far I haven't been convinced by any of the arguements for it.

And also what if you pick the sex and the child doesn't follow the steriotype?

I have a tomboy girl whou would never be seen dead in pink or frills. Imagine if you'd gone out of your way and then got a kid who bucked the trend.

I must say that I do think sex selection to avoid some genetic diseases (like DMD) is reasonable. It would rip me apart to have a child and watch them get iller and iller and then dies in thier early teens. Now I know that one of my kids could have an accident and it might happen to them. But it must be hard if you know there is a predictable, sex linked, lethal condition in the family.

Isn't a healthy baby enough?? Are folks really that selfish? We're struggling to have another baby. Its gender is the least of our concerns!

It's an abhorrent idea. Apparently one reason is that it gives you "a balanced family" - whatever the hell that means.

I always imagined myself having girls, don't know why - but what if I'd had the option to choose girls? I wouldn't have my utterly fantastic boys. I didn't have one second of disappointment when I gave birth to sons.

When I was pregnant with ds1 I was chatting to the cleaner at work who had a dd. I asked if she was planning on having another one and she said "no, I couldn't risk having a boy - if I found out I was having a boy I'd have an abortion."

A friend, on being asked the same question (she had a girl and a boy) said - in front of her 3 year old son - "only if I could guarantee another girl: I wouldn't want another boy."

My best friend got chatting to a woman in a doctor's waiting room - friend had her baby dd with her, woman had a baby ds with her. The woman suddenly said "God, I wish I'd had a girl - it's not fair. I was gutted when he was born - I've already got two boys and I was desperate for a girl. Boys are horrible. They're naughty and aggressive. You don't know how lucky you are to have a girl." My bf was horrified and said "I'm lucky to have two healthy children - a girl and a boy."

As far as I'm concerned if you feel that strongly about the sex of your baby you ought to be seriously questioning whether you should be having a child at all.

ThomCat
I had a scan and was told I was expecting a boy. When she was born the first thing I said was, 'Oh, it's a girl! She's beautiful!' Just to hear that cry and know that she was breathing here on Earth with us was such a blessing! I waited soooo long for a child - went thru a messy divorce, substance abuse, bankrupcy, awful relationships, etc. I thought I'd never be so blessed. Having children is such a privilege.

How terrible that, that women said she would abort a baby if it was a boy
How awful

The sad thing is, that it is women like that, that would pay out for sex selection & would abort healthy babies if for some reason it did not work.
That thought makes me feel very sick.

I would just be glad of a baby!!!!

Any sex I would love it !

Although aren't there some diseases what only affect one sex. Would never terminate to prevent this but not sure i would not make a choice to have a healthy child.

Very controversial and if this were possible I am sure it would be abused by idiots.

People who terminate a healthy child because of sex make me sick

Yes if there is a genetic reason or very strong compassionate reason (like my friend who lost her baby girl and has since had two boys. She would like a third baby and really passionately wants a daughter ...until you've walked in her shoes how the hell could you know what it feels like)

If you have IVF you can now test the dividing egg and see if it is male or female. In that way people can choose to implant a female rather than male embryo and so avoid a sex linked trait. So the male, affeted baby is never imlanted.

I realise that for some people this is still 'terminating' the male. But I wouldn't think it was tbh. But I would only do this to avoid a life threatening genetic condition

That makes me sick to my stomach. There is no reason to abort a child beacuse of it's sex and no reason that anyone should feel they have the right to choose the sex, no reason.

Is it still abortion if you choose to implant one egg rather than another though?

If that is the case then almost all IVF involes abortion since 12 eggs may be fertilised and only 2-3 implanted. Is it so very wrong to chose to implant2-3 females and avoid Muscular Dystrophy?

Message withdrawn

I agree with everything Thomcat says. You can't just decide you are having a girl or boy.Look at what has happened in China and huge parts of India where girls are now so scarce because of mass female abortions that their is a price on their heads and they are kidnapped and forced into marriages because there is such a shortage and such a gender imbalance.It is despicable.

Yes, I realse that. Also I am not tal;king about sex selection for 'social' reasons but to avoid genetic diseases that only happen in boys. ALD, for example is a very harrowing condition and always usualy fatal in boys normaly the age of 10. If I were a mother who had just lost a son to that condition I might very well want to have only girls who may carry the disease, but are totaly unafected by it.

I think that sex selection for any other reason is a dangerous step and most distasteful.

I haven't read the thread or the article but no, I don't think sex selection should be allowed, absolutely not.

No way.

Do you also mean for those with medical reasons, out of interest?

Definitely not (except for rare medical conditions, maybe)

Yes for medical reasons (ie sex linked conditions) but no for social reasons. Balanced families my arse! What the hell is a 'balanced' family? Do you know any?
I am also pretty horrified by the proposed creation of animal/human hybrids. What is that for?

I agree that for non medical reasons it is a no-no. But if I was a carrier of a fatal condition that ony affects boys I would probably selct for girl tbh

NO, let nature take its course

Just to clarify my earlier post - I have no problem with gender selection if it is for medical reasons eg., a condition that only affects boys. But I strongly object to it for reasons of personal preference - almost "cosmetic" reasons.

Well, I approve of choosing the sex of the child for family balancing. I dont see it as playing God any more than taking contraceptive pills, or having medical intervention to cure illness and disease.
I honestly dont see what is wrong with it.

What if everyone chose to have a boy cori?

I can't understand any of the objections. I think it's absolutely ok thing to do. Winston (I think it's Winston) was on the radio today making all the arguments. I don't have energy to repeat them, but he's convinced me 100%.