2 year old left for whole weekend!

[redrobin]

just heard on the radio that some feckless mothr left her 2 year old alone for the whole weekend while she went to stay with her boyfriend! appara police found the toddler in a dirty vest and nappy crying for help. being charged with neglect, cruelty etc. God help us. She should be neutered!!

Very good, well put and thoughful post wannabe

wannaBe - I would assume (going by past cases where there has been a neglect charge or a child removed) that if she does have any subsequent children they will be removed at birth.

I do think sterilization is going too far though. She will be monitored now, and i think she needs to be rehabilitated during her prison sentence because if she isn't, what will happen to her? Will we just lock her up and throw away the key? There's no allowance in the law for that, i'm afraid!

And I also think there is a basis, at least, for assuming she was having mental difficulties as "normal" people do not leave their toddlers locked in kitchens. In fact, I'm struggling to think of any neglect cases (Jeanie, for example, the one that every social sciences student knows about) where there wasn't mental illness involved in the case of the primary carer somewhere.

But even if the case is that she's just a feckless cowbag who heartlessly neglected her child for a year and then deserted him in a kitchen - she still needs to be re-educated and told that this is not normal behaviour!

I agree that she should be punished, but sometimes it is not in the best interests of the child to remove them from their family. No matter how neglectful some parents are, inevitably, their young children love them and would miss them if they couldn't see them. Just because some people make bad choices does not necessarily mean they don't love their kids. This happens frequently with parents who have addictions. The mother clearly needs help, be it psychiatric or social.
Talking of sterilising them, hanging them etc is not practical or necessary. Supervision is what is needed and education.
Children need their mothers even if they don't match up to most peoples high expectations.
Don't get me wrong I am as appalled as everyone else and that the little boy had to suffer for such a long time on his own, however, I feel he will suffer far more in the long run if he isn't allowed to see his mother. No matter how unfit she appears, he will undoubtably love her.

good point tori. thats what i was thinking. and also i dont think anyone has said 'yes she is definately mentally ill', although imo she is, what they have said how do you know that she is not. given that we dont have any background information.

she needs help not condemnation. no one on this board knows what was going through her head at the time she made this choice. or what she was thinking. or even that definately did not ask a friend to sit with him, as no one here actually knows the mother or the whole story.

She needs both help and condemnation. There is no way she should not feel the weight of her act.

She is the mother. She is the primary carer. You can bleat about SS, the responsibility of wider society etc but she failed her child first and foremost. Then the SS stepped in.

I don't think she should be hung or sterilised or whatever but she needs to understand that what she did was abysmal. If she's mentally ill, then she needs the help to get the stage where she can understand the enormity of what she did. However, going by the fact she tried to pin the blame on her friend leads me to believe she knew what she was doing wasn't the greatest parenting decision she'd ever made.

Nobody seems to be discussing the child here and the huge effect this will have on him. Whoever said kids would rather be with their parents, even neglectful ones, than anyone else is right. It's a very tricky situation.

Childcare GCSE should be compulsory in this country. Why have the bloody parenting classes when they've already had kids? It's like shutting the barn door etc etc etc.

I was about to post similar to you Wannabe. I don't see why everyone always assume mental illness and can't see that some people just truely don't care about their children for no good reason. Not because they are "ill" but because it's the way they are.

so she could go on to have another child and it will be taken away, and another, and another, and so on. Is it right that more children should be allowed to be created knowing that they will just be passed straight into the already overstretched and underfunded care system?

At the very least she should be prevented from having children until such times as she is proven to be capable of taking care of children properly.

I don't get though why people seem to have this level of compassion for mothers who neglect their children in this way. What about all the other crimes that aren't considered to be the act of a "normal" person. Should we be extending our sympathies to rapests? murderers? paedophiles? None of these are "normal" things to do, so why are we not calling for rehabilitation and empathy for those too?

Do you think, for example, that a paedophile should be allowed to work with children again once he has been rehabilitated? So why then should a mother who has neglected her child in such a horrendous manner be allowed to have children again - it amounts to the same thing.

Excellent post Wannabe.

One thing I don't understand is why this child is still in foster care? Surely he should have been adopted by now? There can be no doubt that his mother was extremely neglectful.

She deliberately left her child to go off with her boyfriend and lied that she had arranged childcare.
She needs her head examining. And yes I still think she is a feckless little slapper.

Good point about the dad, though you are right. He should be taking responsibility, but maybe she doesn't know where he is - sad for her and the child.

There are many, many more single mums out there struggling to raise their kids with little or no help who don't go off abandoning their kids.
She didn't have to leave the baby - she could have taken it with her, had the boyfriend stay with her or not gone at all. She made a decision to NEGLECT her child because she wanted a shag.

no way! how sad, can't believe that my DD has just turned 2 and the thought of her being left on her own for any length of time is just well, unthinkable

Those of you who are clamoring for her death/sterilisation/beating/kicking--take a cold shower.

Those of you who are clamoring for her death/sterilisation/beating/kicking--take a cold shower.

Absolutely.

But also to those who are pouring sympathy on the silly moo's head, belt up!

once more the humanity of mn shines through.

if everything you do and think comes back to you, some of you must have really gorgeous and joy-filled lives...

I've not been calling for anything to happen to that woman, but she has been so unbelievably cruel to her child that I can understand those who are.

Do you really have no sense that this woman has done wrong, Sophable?

That she should actually have considered her crime and that she should feel shame for it?

Yes, she should get help but to some degree, she is a total berk for doing what she did?

There are some sanctimonious prigs on MN, that's for sure.

of course she has done wrong. of course the child should be protected from further harm. of course it would be great if she could feel real remorse, and if she was capable of getting to that point do you not think that knowing what she did, understanding it's impact and being separated from her child would make her life living hell for the rest of it? and if she is not capable of getting to that point then she is not fully to blame for this tragedy is she? so either way, calls for hanging/sterilisation/public flogging are just ugly people saying ugly things because they don't know better aren't they? the people on this thread that think like that are the ones that deserve sympathy as like i say, their inner worlds must be awful that they could be so lacking in intelligence and compassion.

MN never fails to shock me in this respect and I guess it will continue to.

WHAT DOES ANY OF IT DO TO HELP THE VICTIM? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL. EXCEPT PERPETUATE IGNORANCE AND HATRED.

"...and if she is not capable of getting to that point then she is not fully to blame for this tragedy is she? "

This is where I disagree - I have had bitter, close, personal experience of individuals who are quite capable of understanding the impacts of their own actions and behaviour without feeling remorse.

This monstrous woman chose to leave her child locked in a kitchen for the weekend, there is no suggestion that she did not understand what she was doing or why it was wrong. It is rare, but some mothers do not love their children. That does not make such cruelty excusable. The court found that the mother was to blame, whether she gets to the point of feeling remorse is a separate issue.

Poor poor child I can only imagine how distressed that little one was, being left all alone for 2 days, with no one to care for or love him.

I can feel no sympathy or empathy for his mother (not that she actually deserves tht title IMO). My ^ year old would know tht it was wrong to leave a baby all alone.

Dispicale act that deserves condemnation. She is a risk to children at present. And should be treated in such a way as to punish her for her offence, and to protect other future children from such harm, until shhe can prove she is capable of being a fit parent. I would hope all future children are removed from her care unless there are guarantees they will be cared for properly, and not neglected liek this poor baby has been.

I hope the little one is now being care for in a loving family.

wannabe-'don't get though why people seem to have this level of compassion for mothers who neglect their children in this way. What about all the other crimes that aren't considered to be the act of a "normal" person. Should we be extending our sympathies to rapests? murderers? paedophiles? None of these are "normal" things to do, so why are we not calling for rehabilitation and empathy for those too?'

i think you will find that there are certain posters who call for sympathy for paedophiles and rapists as well,so i am not surpised at alot of the 'sympathetic' posts on here.

there are some people who just cant accecpt that there may be humans who are out-and-out bad,they have to find reasons and try to make it right.i,however,have a more realistic view of humanity.

There's a bit of difference between saying someone shouldn't be sterilised/beaten-up/kicked to death and saying that you feel sympathy for them!

I don't feel compassion for her but I'd fight for her right not to be subjected to physical abuse.

whereas i couldnt care less what happens to her.

Well, no, surely you wouldn't want to see her beaten or killed, Divastrop?

well,no,i wouldnt want to see her killed as i dont agree with capital punishment.and i cant see how her being beaten would be of any benefit to the child.but i wouldnt have any sympathy or compassion for her if she did get the shit kicked out of her iyswim.

Those asking about the dad, I don't know if this the case or not, but it is entirely possible that not only does she not know where he is, she may not even know WHO he is.