2 year old left for whole weekend!

[redrobin]

just heard on the radio that some feckless mothr left her 2 year old alone for the whole weekend while she went to stay with her boyfriend! appara police found the toddler in a dirty vest and nappy crying for help. being charged with neglect, cruelty etc. God help us. She should be neutered!!

Evil, hearltess woman, I'm sure he is with a loving family now - at least some good came out of it, it she hadn't have left him, what other neglect would that poor little boy have had to endure if he was still with her now?
I have friends who have been trying for a baby for 18mths, they would make such fab parents, It makes my blood boile to think that these feckless, little slappers are having babies left, right and centre. And it definitely nothing to do with age or marital status, I know a couple of young, single mothers I've met at M&B groups who are wonderful mums - they wouldn't contemplate doing anything like this for even a second!

bit ed at 'feckless little slappers'

what does women's sexual activity have to do with child neglect?? f-all it seems to me.

As I posted earlier on what this (clearly deeply damaged) woman has done is really terrible and tragic. But I really don't think calling her (and various other unknown women) a 'slapper' is right, sorry

this thread makes me angry. i am seeing red.
ok, so th emother made a bad call. a very bad call. but
where the fuck was this kids father? why isnt he being charged with neglect?
AND the kid s grandparents? where the fuck ar ethey? dont they have a duty of care for there daughter and grand daughtere?
where the fuck were the neighbours?
and yes, i do mean the f word here.
a two year old should be community responsibilty. if the mother is having a hard time coping, then there shold be other people around to help her out. long before it gets to the point where the silly woman thinks its ok to forget about his existence.
and what about hte boyfriend? he knows she has a two year old, wasnt he an aider and abetter?
grrrr......

actually, sorry, not the thread, but the news story

this woman was sick, and she needed HELP not judgements.
yes the child is a victim, but the mother was not the heartless bitch everyone makes her outto be. a child that young is everyones responsibility. if the flat below wa flooded because of the child leaving a tap on, then why the hell wasnt anything done about it by the neighbours, the flat owners, the social services. the grandparnet.s
grrrr.....

no stitch the two year old is her responsibility end of.

how was she sick? negligent, selfish and an unfit mother.

no. a child is not the responsibility of only the parent who gives birth to it. it takes two to tango.
and if the main carer of a child under the age of five is having difficulties coping then the other people have a moral, if not legal responsibilty to that child.
it woudl be a very very sad world in which a child was only the responsiblity of the brith parent.

depression perhaps?
negligent and unfit mother, yes, her actions show that. but why was she an unfit mother? what is the bigger picture here? and why, if she has already shown that she is an unfit mother, was the child still left in her care? why did someone else not come along and take the child from her? even if only for a few afternoons a week so she could face up to her responsibilities?
where was the father. if she is so unfit, then why didnt he have the child. why didnt her parents or hs parents, or her siblings or his siblings, or someone?

i work with a charity that helps young famiies, and believ me, it is never ever that black and white.

Stitch - the mother had the responsibility because she had custody. If she could not cope then she should have gone to social services or, if she was lucky, her family.

You cannot blame the father/grandparents/neighbours - you can question whether they could have helped more but you cannot blame them. If you have cutody of your child then you are responsible for its welfare. If you cannot cope you ask for help or put the child into care.

Stitch, there is no evidence in the report that she was unwell, or failing to cope, or anything other than feckless, selfish, uncaring and down right negligent. She could have asked someone, anyone to help. She didn't. Quite hard for the grandparents (and why is up to them anyway) or neighbours to step in if they don't know she was planning on a weekend long shagathon and contemplating doing this. What normal person would think a mother could contemplate doing this?

Sometimes I think people on MN are deliberately perverse in their thinking - obviously she couldn't possibly be to blame, its society that's at fault. I don't buy it.

Sometimes parents are to blame. Sometimes people do go off and just leave their kids.

We don't know the full story though, I guess. But that poor kid.

Horrible sad case all round. And agree so much with the posters who have expressed distate forthe violent, evil imagary portrayed on this thread. The mother appears utterly inadequate, but threats of death and "5 mins with me" rubbish seeks out new depths for the usual MN pitchfork brigade.
Grow up. Think beyond your self-indulgence.

i never said she isnt to blame
what i said was that she isnt the only one to blame. (at least that is what i meant, i was quite angry when typing, so it may not hav ebeen that clear)
she has shown a consistent pattern of neglect. so yes, people suchh as grandparents should have stepped in. it is a failing of society that a defenseless two year old was allowed to continue to live in such neglect, even though her behaviour was known
sometimes people dont know how to ask for help. they dont know that help is available. all sortss of reasons why they dont ask for help., i mention grandparent s becauswe they are usually the ony ones capable of going in, and making a deciion that neighbours, social services friends etc cant, or wont make. iyswim

agree with arti and georgie completly, does not matter i am in a refuge my h is miles away i am severely depressed and sometimes wish i could have five mins to myself but i would never leave ds alone, because i am his MOTHER and this woman is obviously not, depressed my arse

|What if she's for example, violent or aggressive towards the GPs for 'interfering'? You don't know the full story, Stitch. I think it's unfair to expect the GPs to take responsibility or blame all over again. They've done their bit even if it's not been done well.

fd, then you of all people should not be so judgemental.
not everyone makes the same decisions in life. not everyone deals with things as well as others. yes, as his mother, she should have taken care of him, but she didtn/couldnt. whatever. a mother is not alone in a vacuum. this isnt the biblical eve who has no other human beings around her. why didnt they step in and help the little child? where the hell were they when this kid was all alone?

ww, exactly, i dont know the full story. which is why i am angry at why everyone is piling the blame onto the mother one hundred percent.
a mob with pitchforks......

Agree entirely with enid and pan.

some people are just selfish nasty and thick as shit,there isnt always a reason,like mental illness,childhood abuse etc.some poeple are just crap,full stop.

btw,i am not saying this woman was like that.i dont know her reasons for doing this to her son.i just dont understand why there always has to be a 'reason' for this sort of thing.

diva, all the more reason to ask why ws this child left in her care for so long?
if she is sooo crap, then why did it take two years of such abuse before he was removed from her care?
if people knew she was so selfish, and all the other adjectives used in ths thread, then why didnt they remove him from her care? the fact that they didnt, means they should shar some of the blame.

thats crap,everyone can get help if they need it, yes other people could have stepped in but do you know what when you have a child it is your responsibility, you are the one that protects and nurtures it, she was a selfish and just was thinking of herself getting a shag and if that comes before a child you dont deserve them full stop

Exactly Diva. I really don't get the mental gymnastics involved in defending the indefensible (unless the idea is to show the poster's moral superiority over everyone else, not only are they superior to the feckless mother, obviously, but to the rest of us who are like, so, emotive, and don't have their superior skills of intraspection and empathy).

no fd, they cant.
not everyone knows there is help that they can access. or how to access.
a child is not the sole respobsibiliy of the birth parent. that is unacceptable in a civiised society.