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Guardian article on SAHMs

285 replies

branflake81 · 26/05/2008 08:54

here

OP posts:
Pendulum · 27/05/2008 10:24

blueshoes, I hear you.

Every day I feel like a list of tasks that I have failed to achieve (mop floor, send birthday card etc). Trying to micro-manage a household alone while a pre-schooler and a baby run amok seems like an impossible mission. The mess and the noise of being at home with children all the time leave me constantly on edge. Over supper I sit dumbly with nothing to recount while DH tells me about his day (his career is burgeoning and every day brings new developments).

Yet give me an office to escape to for four days a week and I know I will wholeheartedly throw myself into the mess and noise on the fifth day!

blueshoes · 27/05/2008 10:33

Pendulum, I think we both made the right choice for ourselves ... Reading your post is like hearing myself speak, lol.

Yes, having 2 like you is not double the trouble, it is quadruple the mess. Try to get anything done at all, and if you have turned your back, the things those monkeys get up to ... Somehow, ds' cars and various parts of it litter the hallway. Dd's scooter and bicycle is somehow in the living room. Dd's crafty bits of work is on the coffee table along with the books she has dragged out and was 'reading' to ds before it was all abandoned higgledy piggledy. What is the aquadraw doing out of its box?

I suppose I could 'pare down' my house as you do, Anna. It would be pretty alien to my dcs, though, being fairly used to having free rein of their toys and basically, their life. It does get tidied up at the end of the day. I am smiling at the thought of their high jink though, but not everyday (shudder).

twinsetandpearls · 27/05/2008 11:35

I was a SAHM for five years although I always did some kind of work as I needed the money. So I worked as a playworker - took dd to work with me, catered children's parties, did some sewing and sold on ebay etc. I think if you want to and need to work you will find a way of doing it from home and there was a big list of excuses given above.

I teach so my job is useful and tbh everyone's is useful as their taxes pay for education, health etc.

I did not enjoy every moment of being a SAHM but it was easier than working, not saying it is for everyone before you all pounce on me, but for me it certainly was.

I stayed at home until just before dd started school and then worked part time for two years , this is my first year full time. I know my dd has to go without the undivided attention and care she had before because I work and there are times dp and I feel very guilty ( note I said dp and I because this is about parents not mothers , although dp is a sp and not dd biological father but that is irrelevant). But dd also loves me working, she is proud that I teach, often comes into work and I am more fulfilled and so in some ways a better mum. There are also material benefits to working, we can now afford to move away from a town we hate and dd likes the clothes, horse riding, holidays etc. I am lucky that I have the holidays to spend with dd and I try and do as little work as I can during the day during holidays. This week I will go in for two days while she is with her Dad.

I would not have another child while we are both working as I do not think it would be fair. My job is very stressful and I could not give a young child the time it needs. When we move dp is also going to work from home so that we have more time for dd though and rely on things like after school clubs less. I recognise though that not everyone is in a position to work from home like that.

twinsetandpearls · 27/05/2008 11:40

Sorry that post was for the other thread, ignore it and I will put it in the right place

MamaMaiasaura · 27/05/2008 12:45

beanie steve - i could and did make drink etc when i got home and often helped prepare evening meal and did some of the housework. What i missed was the actual precence of my mum and that i could talk to her. That if i had a shitty day, I had someone at home for a hug.

Anna8888 · 27/05/2008 13:02

Awen

I think all of us, even as adults, like to go home and be cared for and comforted at the end of a hard day. My partner (43) hates it if I am not here for a cuddle and a drink on the sofa when he gets in just before 8pm

totalmisfit · 27/05/2008 13:19

so the SAHM was 'born' in the 1920s?!

of course because before that, EVERYONE had servants

Yep, apparently in 1900 you couldn't move for nannies and maids on the streets of Wigan, or most working class towns for that matter...

Anna8888 · 27/05/2008 13:35

The English SAHM revolution actually started in the late 18th century and flourished during the industrial revolution with the explosion of the middle-classes.

Anna8888 · 27/05/2008 13:35

The English SAHM revolution actually started in the late 18th century and flourished during the industrial revolution with the explosion of the middle-classes.

sarah293 · 27/05/2008 19:43

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