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Original poster

Mum asked to leave a Costa coffee for breastfeeding her baby.

128 replies

QueenofCards · 21/04/2008 19:52

Appologies if this has already been posted. Mum asked to leave a Costa coffee shop for breastfeeding!

This makes me very and at the same time. How can a thing as natural as breastfeeding be so taboo in our society today? I am personally going to be avoiding Costa for this reason from now on. I live near Poole so i know which Costa the woman was asked to leave from.

Thoughts please?

OP posts:

Cocobear · 21/04/2008 22:32

Actually the legal status is somewhat unclear to me. Sounds like it is sexual discrimination to ask her to leave because she is bfing, so asking her to leave for that reason actually was against the law.

At any rate, it seems like a cafe owner asking a customer to stop feeding a hungry baby because it's offending someone is counterproductive in the extreme. Instead of a quietly feeding baby, you'd have a hysterical, screaming baby, which would certainly bother the other customers a whole lot more??

Who's up for a mass bf at Costa?

theBOD · 21/04/2008 22:38

"But why are you here thebod? and why do you keep ignoring my question"
if you can explain to me what relevance it has to the debate i'd answer. as it is i view it as a cheap attempt to ignore the debate and try to invalidate points. who i am has nothing to do with this debate.

"Sounds like it is sexual discrimination to ask her to leave because she is bfing"
i honestly don't think that would come under current equality legislation as it is the quaity of the act that is being complained about and not the sex of the person engaging in the act.the fact that only women can breastfeed would not (i don't think) automatically make it a sexual equality issue.

LyraSilvertongue · 21/04/2008 22:41

I'm not trying to invalidate your points, I'm just wondering why you're here, as a non-parent who's not intending to have children any time soon.

Psychomum5 · 21/04/2008 22:43

oooh......he quoted me....didn;t answer me mind , but noticed my post at least!!

but

I have no experience of those subjects and would therefore not go onto any forums of those subjects to deliberately wind people up, be it with honest feeling or otherwise....it would not be morally right to do that...it would be 'troll-ike' in fact!!!

as a parent, a mum in fact, I choose to come onto a forum of other people like me......mumsnet.

you are not a mum, nor even a parent, therefore your views are squewed in a different sense, and more likely to upset rather than help, so for that reason, yes, you are out of order!!!

Psychomum5 · 21/04/2008 22:46

and how can it not be classed as sexual discrimination???

ONLY women can breastfeed, so in fact, by definition, it should be classified as sexual discrimiation.

if a man was scratching his balls in public, and a woman complained and he was told to leave the place he was in, he would soon shout 'sexual discrimination' I am bloody sure of that!!!!

Cocobear · 21/04/2008 22:49

The govt spokesperson specifically said it WAS against the new legislation to ask a bfing mother to leave for that reason. It makes sense to me as sex discrimination, as a bfing woman really can't choose whether or not to feed the baby there. You're having coffee, baby gets hungry, you either feed baby or baby screams. Little babies do not understand "Just wait 20 minutes while I hunt around for a place to feed you so that any idiot who might take offense can't see you feeding."

TheFallenMadonna · 21/04/2008 22:54

May I ask what you find uncomfortable about it? Genuine question - not being arsey.

Divastrop · 21/04/2008 22:57

i think that cafes etc that dont want mums bf should just not allow young children in,full stop,have signs on the door saying 'children under 12 not permitted' or whatever.if they allow babies in,then they have to accept that the babies may want to eat there as well,and may be too young for a cappucino and a slice of carrott cake.

i dont like to see men when i am eating my lunch,but sadly there arent any women-only establishments here

lisad123 · 21/04/2008 23:00

maybe we should leave the baby to cry, im sure that would make more people uncomfertable.

Woollymummy · 21/04/2008 23:01

LOL Psycho I actually think that the creeping BOD is the kind of guy who DOES scratch his balls in public, and who probably thinks all the girls are watching. He has some issues about women and their bodies which would probably be better addressed somewhere else. He really doesn't fit in here at all. Can I be the grumpy Costa manageress and ask him to leave, please, please?

Psychomum5 · 21/04/2008 23:02

Woollymummy · 21/04/2008 23:07

Anyone who complains about BF in public should be legally obliged to try and calm the poor wee baby themselves, with or without milk. They would be allowed a generous timescale, let's say 5 minutes, during which time all surrounding members of the public would be invited to take a break from their lunches and come over to offer advice, preach, pass irrelevant comments, criticise, even applaud. If after the allotted time they fail to please either the baby or the mother with their efforts, they would be asked to leave, or at least shown a dark, smelly corner where they can finish their grotty muffin and coffee in peace, where no-one can see them chewing with their mouth open.

Cocobear · 21/04/2008 23:09

What really irks me about this story is that the waitress didn't even offer that poor kid a babyccino as a substitute.

Woollymummy · 21/04/2008 23:11

With expressed BM of course after all they do soya on request....

milliec · 22/04/2008 07:10

Message withdrawn

harpsichordcarrier · 22/04/2008 07:22

they threatened to call the police
I have heard it all now.
what offence were you committing, did they think?
being in possession of functioning breasts in a built up area?

BouncingTurtle · 22/04/2008 07:53

I went out at when ds was 5 days old - walked up to local Asda, about 1 mile away, had some lunch, did a small bit of shopping. Stopped to rest before setting off for home, and little old lady who was sat next to me told me off as she said I should be at home putting my feet up. . She also roundly approved when (after being asked) that I was bfing. Made my day!
DS slept the whole time though, so didn't feed him.
Totally and at this story! I too have fed at Costa without any probs. Though Alton Towers are getting a very stern letter re: teaching their staff to point out the nearest indoor eateries for bfing on cold days and not the baby changing rooms. At least I got to use the "would you eat your sarnie in a loo" line

hercules1 · 22/04/2008 07:59

I completely disagree with Bod however I defend to the hilt his right to say it on this forum. He hasnt said anything hugely offensive or against the mumsnet code. He has expressed a different opinion and I think been remarkably polite despite people questionning him being here.

Kimi · 22/04/2008 08:08

I would much rather see a baby being fed while I eat then a couple snogging the face off each other.

I bet they would not have ask a snogging couple to leave,

2point4kids · 22/04/2008 08:12

Really feel for the lady.
I took DS2 out to a soft play place at 3 days old so that I could take DS1 to burn off some energy!
I bf'd there and no one said anything, but if they had then I would really ahve taken it to heart as well. Your hormones are all over the place at that early stage.

Does sound like it was just one idiot member of staff though and not costas policy in general. I think they are usually bf friendly...

Veraduckworthshandbag · 22/04/2008 08:13

There has to be an "ist"or "bic" for this.
If they ask someone to leave because of colour it would be racist, if you had a same sex couple kissing it would be homophobic if some one had a disability and was ask to leave it would be wrong, so why is a BF feeding mother fair game?

harpsichordcarrier · 22/04/2008 08:23

what I find quite nauseating, actually, is the suggestion that for a woman to bf in public is "selfish" and "inconsiderate" of other people's feelings because bf is so inherently offensive.
sorry I am hard line here. if seeing bf offends you, then you need to change your attitude.

Kimi · 22/04/2008 08:30

The thing is in todays society when sex is used to sell everything from perfume to cars breasts have become seen more and more as sexual and not as something that was put there to feed a child.

When I was expecting DS1 several of our male friends ask if I would be BF and were a tad sad when I said no, I think it was more to do with the fact I have a 36 F chest and not whats best for baby was why they ask

Nbg · 22/04/2008 08:33

Totally with Harpsi on this.

And Bod, I just knew you were a man the second I read your post.
I dont give a flying feck what you've got to say about it, you are 101% wrong.

If this poor lady was asked to leave for just feeding her newborn baby then in my mind everyone else should leave.
Theres no difference in someone feeding their baby and someone going in for a cup of coffee and a sandwich.

I so wish that the woman in question refused to leave. I really do.

Pathetic people.

Kimi · 22/04/2008 08:44

Bet if she had had a low cut top on boobs falling out and no baby, no one would have batted an eyelid

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