Spoilt children disrupt schools

[PABLOP]

here

Margaret Morrissey thinks we cannot instill values unless we are sahm

well well - I admitted that ds has sleeping problems and so the perfect parents on mn are unable to rest until it has been proved that its all my fault.

ds has been through a lot of stress recently, which I am not going to explain again. It is so much easier, to assume that my bad parenting and neglect is responsible for his sleeping problems, isnt it.

and bozza, do you hire au pairs yourself? as a family with 4 children, living in a small town, I practically have to go on hands and knees and beg au pairs to come to us. She is 19 - of course she cant discipline 4 children aged 4 - 11.
shock horror - yes I do leave my children with her. many other working parents do likewise. But of course, its one of the secrets that must never be admitted to on mn.

No, I have said nothing about sleeping problems.
That is a different issue entirely.
What I cannot get my head around is that you have to resort to unplugging the tv because your children disregard the word NO (as in you are not to watch tv)
Nothing to do with sleeping issues and difficult times.

And no, nothing to do with us being judgey perfect parents either.

I think Nighbynight is given a hard time on this thread. Surely we all know NO doesn't always mean NO without a bit of a battle on our hands with out children. My children challenge me at home (and so they should!),it doesn't necessarily mean they have no respect for authority at school.

I used to have a password protection on our tv. Just saved me the hassle of my children turning the tv on, me turning it off, turning it on, turning it off........

No I have not employed an au pair although I was an au pair aged 21 and am now a working mother. I agree that you have been given a hard time on this thread for standing out against the swell of opinion but stand by what I said.

hippi- I agree with you.. I juts found it faster to say "TV is broken"... that was that... no need to tantrum... and it was done. I might have had as easy a reaction if I had so NO TV anymore. To be honest they were never big on TV to begin with.

Sorry Fairy... NN is choosing to read criticism where none was intended (at least when I posted!)
I don't really understand where all this is coming from but I have been absent from MN for a year... maybe I'll go away again LOL

As one who has been offended by threads before (years ago!)... you choose what offends you and what doesn't.... easy to blame kids... easy to blame others... hmmm...

Oh pupuce, don't go. I have been on MN for nearly 18 months, and it does seem to be getting 'tetchier'....We need some sane people here...

I also think NN is seeing offense where there is none. She does seem to be overly defensive, but that could be because she knows things are not as they should be ....

Either way, I do feel generally that young people and children have far far less respect for authority figures (police, teachers, parents, other adults) then when I was young. And it scares me. It has certainly put paid to any plans I had of training to be a teacher. Am too scared....

I have taught far too many children or 11 years old who are obviously up watching TV in their rooms at 11-12.00 at night. And they really are watching TV at that hour, it isn't just bravado, they can tell you the plot lines.

This isn't a SAHM vs WOTH issue it is about effective parenting and ineffective parenting.

I teach far too many kids who are used to having their own way at home and really can't understand why things can't be the same way in school. And they behave badly and their parents make endless excuses for them!

who are you to judge hippo? your words will almost certainly come back to haunt you one day.

pupuce - I can assue you I wasnt typing angrily - but really, dd1 is 11 - she is more likely to try and fix the tv if I tell her fairystories about it being broken.

loads of kids are spoilt, i have noticed. i think it's more attention seeking

You have just reminded me of something I meant to post earlier.

My ds is in Y4. In his class is a boy (J) who is a lovely boy. But he is (from what I hear) incredibly disruptive in class. We have had J for tea here and he is indeed a real life wire and a bit of a handful. Also not too great at respecting my authority in my home, you know, basic courtesy sometimes gets forgotten. J has a younger brother and when I help at school I see this younger brother being told off more often than not.
J and his brother's parnets are lovely. But they think nothing of letting a 9 and a 7 year old watch age 16 films, their dad happily buys and plays age 16 PS games with them, and J once asked me why my ds had to go to bed at 7.30 when he himself gets to stay up till 9.30.
As I said, the parents are lovely, but whenever the boys get into trouble their standard answer is 'they are boys and need to learn from their own mistakes'

So MB you are right, inaffectual parenting perhaps...
I can't help but think that if the parents were not quite so laid back, those boys would get on a lot better at school...

I think that there is an element of attention seaking. But in addition there are ever larger children who are quite seriously convinced that they are the centre of the known universe and that everything in the world is to be done for them, when they want it, in the way they want it.

And their parents, for a range of misguided reasons, collude with this thought.

Their parents don't understand that their child, in a class, is one of 30 and has to learn to rub along with other people.

I've had kids to the greatest double take when we have the following conversation

Me, 'Please do X'

Child, 'Why should I?'

Me, 'because I've asked you to do it, and in a minute I'll tell you to do it'

For many kids this has just never happened to them before.

teachers are due to go on strike aren't they, don't blame them

i only work in a/s clubs but the cheek of some children, that don't even know me is mad. it's like being heckled before you begin.

The biggest problems I encounter in class are: lack of concentration/ no but..yes but..it's his/your fault.../ them never being allowed to fail at something (immediate phone calls from parents if this happens).

My favourite students aren't necessarily the best behaved or the brightest (though they are lovely!) but my 'honest villains', who have a bit of charm, admit their errors and take the consequences.

I love the 'Norty' boy/girl.

The basically good kid who you can gee along once they realise that you don't take any shit or believe the horrific fibs that they will try out on you in the first few weeks of term

god, who'd be a teacher, big respect to you

Don't think so NN, honestly don't think so....

Anyway, stop taking it all so personally. You do what you see as best. But this is a discussion forum, so people discuss, and question, tis human nature.

And it is hippi, not hippo!

It is the constant back chat that does your head in.

Caused, in not small measure, by these kids having parents who cave in. the parents who say that their kids never lie What argue the toss and get the kids out of punishments and help the kids break the school rules right up to the point where eventually the polis are involved and then turn round and ask the school why it didn't do anything

i have it alot in my club 'make this for mummy she'll love it'

answer 'no'

mummy then asks me what she's paying me for

well hippi, I was that obedient docile child you describe...my mother had an easy ride, and was as judgemental as you are about other people.
fact is, if you havent been a full time working lone parent, you have no idea what its like. And if you havent parented 4 children on your own, you arent best qualified to judge those who do either.
and I agree with fairy further down the thread actually - I would be worried if my children were as obedient as I was, because I know how hard it was to teach myself to be assertive later in life.
as far as I know, my children dont disrupt classes at school btw.

Just smiling now at the thought of me swanning off to work in the morning and telling my children, Now, children do not switch the tv on today...while leaving it in a working state in teh sitting room.

to tell the truth, kids are spoilt little things these days

Children are spoiled because some parents seem to be unable to say no. Why else has advertising of junk food been banned at certain times? It?s not the children that do the shopping after all is it?

The three most disruptive children in DS? class are the three who are allowed everything they want. I witnessed the parent of one demand the host of another child?s party go to the shop and buy him the drink he wanted because ?he is screaming so therefore he has to have it?, another I witnessed teaching other children how to fight in the park, and it then transpired that he is allowed to play 18 rated video games because his mother doesn?t know how else to shut him up, and the third sits yawning in class because he stays up until 10/11/12:00 watching dvd?s on the television in his bedroom. These children are 5.

Why in the name of god do 5 year olds need televisions/dvd?s/games consoles of their very own? Why are parents unable to say no? It really isn?t that hard.

NN, I was NOT judging you or your children, sorry if it came across like that. Was just a bit worried that you did not appear to have that much authority over your au pair. I was an au pair (in Germany funnily enough), and what my boss demanded, I did. What rules she laid out for the children, I followed. (yes, goody two shoes me)

But let's not argue, yes for all I know my ds will go crazy later in life. And all my parenting will go out of the window. You are right, my words may bite me in the bum one day.

And no, am not a lone parent, so cannot possibly judge from that pov. You are right.

Sorry if I was a bit full on. Hope you are okay.

Am off to get some chocolate now.