Spoilt children disrupt schools

[PABLOP]

here

Margaret Morrissey thinks we cannot instill values unless we are sahm

Agree with Fio. Children need to be bored sometimes to seek out their own entertainment.

lol fio yes

soapbox I am not going into our daily timetable with you, but we are in germany where school is part time, and children get 2+ hours of homework. dd2 needs walking to and from her KiGa, so AP is already spending 80 minutes a day on the road, plus she helps with homework. Children do not want to go to the park, which is 1/2 hour walk from our house. They already go out into the garden by themselves.
I am very familiar with your kind of judgemental attitude, which is very common around here among people who have not experienced being the single parent of 4 chidlren.

Pablo, it is both rude and arrogant to jump in with such quick condemning judgements.

My au pair doesnt take ds to football practise. (what I said) Understimulated children are neglected (what soapbox said).

Well, there are different kinds of "spoilt." Some would say mine are materially spoilt and, yes, they do have the Wii, the new bikes, trampoline, PS etc... But they have been touchingly grateful and appreciative of those things and they take good care of them and share them with anyone going. The day they stop saying 'thankyou' or neglect to clear the table or help around the house, or when they start to answer back or demand designer labels, will be the day we down tools.

Well, there are different kinds of "spoilt." Some would say mine are materially spoilt and, yes, they do have the Wii, the new bikes, trampoline, PS etc... But they have been touchingly grateful and appreciative of those things and they take good care of them and share them with anyone going. The day they stop saying 'thankyou' or neglect to clear the table or help around the house, or when they start to answer back or demand designer labels, will be the day we down tools.

Oops!

NN - You implied that your au pair was not giving your DS the stimulation he requires, I suggested that you ask her to do what you require her to.

Quite why you have taken exception to my post, which merely supported your position is beyond me.

Clearly, you don't want your au pair to do these things - but that was far from clear from your post.

In any event, I imagine that if your DC's spend 80mins a day walking to and from school, then they are getting enough exercise anyway.

well, it might be something to do with labelling me neglectful. It has the same sort of effect as when you get on your abuse/smacking hobbyhorse. (I am both abusive and neglectful, by what you have said on mn). Yet, I still read your posts with interest .

now I am going to stimulate my children by taking them to a clothes shop which has a humungous climbing frame/slide, as its much too cold to do anything else.

I just started another thread today about what parents allow their children to watch on tv/cinema in the parenting section. I think young children these days watch so much stuff inappropriate to them both in language, story-line and images. I would personally say it would have more of a detrimental effect on my childrens behaviour to watch transformers from the age of 3 than getting a few extra toys. I think there is very little discussion about what children (especially children of wohm of course!) watch and parental lack of boundaries.

Agree about the viewing. I have now hidden the cable to the tv. They still watch too many dvds though. Am mulling over a system for that, but think it needs a lockable cupboard.

my DC are very used to the word NO. They dont have TV's in the rooms. They dont have a playstation (we do have a Wii thanks to a mn competition making it possible)

We dont have big holidays or even holidays every year. I go without loads. My DD has said she is called a tramp because she doesnt wear labels(!) She has accused us of neglect because everyone else has things that we dont (holidays,playstations,xboes,comps,etc.) She has said she will not treat her kids as badly as we treat them (this was in response to no tv in room, her not having her own laptop oh and not being allowed to watch east(bloody)enders!) I do realise that she doesn't always mean this and it is teenager angst(sp??) but it proves that saying No doesnt make children anymore well behaved!

its seems a case of "Damned if you do Damned if you dont"

I am I wrong in thinking if you need to hide the TV cable and consider locking the DVD player away that there is something wrong?

Yes, what is wrong is that I am not there in person to say No TV, and No DVDs during the afternoons. I cannot expect an au pair to instill this kind of discipline.
The German system is built around the assumption that the mother will be at home in the afternoons, and the children get out of school at lunchtime. Makes life very difficult for families without a SAHP.
It is not like in the UK.

Mrs Weasley, ha ha your dd sounds like mine.

NN - (this is just an idea no need to get angry ) you could also do what i did.... say TV is broken (unplug it or what ever you need to do to make it un-usable)... or do what we did next... get rid of TV all together... I am AMAZED at how much more my kids play. They don't even miss the TV.
We now have a TV again and they never ask to watch it!!

whats wrong with hiding the cable? I cant quite get my head round hiding the cable = failed parenting.
I only kept the tv because we do like to watch films sometimes. It is merely disconnected from the aerial.

I didn't say that... geeweez!

sorry I dont understand - I am not speaking angrily but I already said that I disconnected the tv and hid the cable, and both you and mrz seem to find this strange, "something wrong" was the term used.

Well I didn't say anything was wrong and I was replying to the "too many DVD" comment. I assume that no cable means they can still watch DVDs.
No TV or TV broken means no DVD either... was only making a comment!

I don't know you and would not suggest "failed parenting"... to busy with my own kids to care if someone online -who I have never even encountered on online - is failing her kids.....

Hello Fio... long time no "speak"

So you leave your children with someone who is unable to stop them watching television? Are you not concerned about what else she will be unable to do? I write as an ex au pair btw.

As to the OP, I do find the notion that my children must be like that because I work offensive. As in the article not the OP. But I think my children are fairly well behaved when they are out in society.

I am a primary school teacher and know several children whose parents give in to their tantrums at the drop of a hat.
At a recent parents' evening I expressed my concern about a child's lack of reading practice at home, and the effect it was having on his skills. His mother told me that he had tantrums if asked to read at home, and that she wasn't going to force him. When I said that without regular reading at home he may struggle, she said 'well, that's up to him, innit!' (He is 6!)

Something wrong, because surely NO means NO, no need to unplug cables etc.

My ds has a Nintendo ds. After much deliberation we allowed him to keep it in his room over night, for charging up only. We told him he was NOT to play it. We have spent a few weeks sneaking to his room at various times in the evening after bedtime, he is NOT playing it. Ds is 8.

If tv's need to be unplugged and cabinets locked, then yes, something is wrong. If the au pair is not capable of exercising control over the children, how can you trust her to be in charge??

And if parent need to go to such lengths to get their dc to do as required, how can teachers be expected to get the children to behave in class?

Surely it all has to go back to the time when children respected an authority figure. No means no, you do as you are asked. End of!