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Scarlett Keeling

147 replies

lemonstartree · 11/03/2008 11:20

Anyone else give a litle gasp of horror when it was revealed that Scarlett was left by her mother, for 'several weeks' in Goa whilst mum went off with her new boyfriend and 5 of her 8 children ????

Am amazed no one else has posted this given the outcry wrt the McCanns!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 15:40

pot.kettle.black, Enid.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/03/2008 15:57

The daughte of my parents friends finished her GCSEs, still aged 15 and went backpacking with a friend. She is a very bright headstrong girl and they trusted she could take care of herself. She returned home safely and no doubt more enlightened and ready for college after her experiences.

Had anything happened to her no one would have accused her mother of neglect.

TheHonEnid · 13/03/2008 15:57

eh?

elliott · 13/03/2008 15:58

Why wasn't she at school? (apols if this has already been raised and answered!)

CoteDAzur · 13/03/2008 17:34

I do feel sorry for the mother, but I also feel that she shares the blame for Scarlett's fate.

Vast majority of teenagers are 'stroppy' and want to do so many things. It is up to parents to set the limits.

And "I'll leave my pretty blond teenage girl in a foreign party capital of the world laden with drugs, with a local guy I only just met and go off travelling" is NOT parenting.

Also not buying the "her mother's just a bit naive" line. No mother of nine pushing 50 can possibly be that "naive".

WendyWeber · 13/03/2008 17:42

Scarlett could just as easily have done what she did that night while her mother was on the spot, couldn't she? She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, poor lass.

elliott, the children are sometimes home-eded (sp???) and sometimes Scarlett went to a very liberal small local school.

kiskideesameanoldmother · 13/03/2008 17:44

y'know, leaving a 15yo with a member of the opposite sex and his aunt. her strict Roman Catholicism is completely irrelevant here. didn't that give her a clue why her dd refused to travel with the rest of them?

Local men in tourist resorts flit from one 'love' to another with visiting women. age is something they don't give a damn about.

oxocube · 13/03/2008 19:53

I'm with expat.

MicrowaveOnly · 13/03/2008 20:01

ooh yummy another 'its the mums fault thread. '

Is that why this place is called mumsnet?

Now I understand how witch burning came about in ye old days they didn't have the internet

Well we could all have a sympathetic mumsy discussion on how hard it must be to deal with losing your child - but no lets play the blame game......

So how much is mum to blame vs the 'abductor'?

90:10 or 50:50.

Place your bets......

Spidermama · 13/03/2008 20:03

Well said Microwave.

Pennies · 13/03/2008 20:09

Get real with the ratio of blame. Each is 100% culpable for their actions and the chain of events lead to this tragedy.

I simply cannot fathom how anyoe can think it is totally acceptable to leave a 15 year old alone in a situation whereby she is bound to meet a large number of itinerent people in what is a party environment in a completely alien culture. The woman's off her rocker to think that she could judge that her daughter would be safe.

I wouldn't leave my daughter in the care of a 25 year old bloke no matter how god fearing his aunt was, and that's in the UK, where language and culture are no barrier.

MicrowaveOnly · 13/03/2008 20:14

So Pennies would you let her walk to the bus stop on her own? oops sorry not when she was 9 eh?

or leave her alone as a baby in her holiday home, no I'm sure you wouldn't dream of it.

Well isn't it a warm feeling to know this could NEVER happen to your child cos you're the perfect parent.

yeah right.

There was a little girl abducted from her bath FFS last year, and raped.

Or was that the mums fault for not tying her apron strings with a triple knot?

Pennies · 13/03/2008 20:21

Look, these things happen and unfortunately they happen in the normal course of life.

9 year old walking to bus = normal course of life

baby in holiday home (assume you're talking MM here) - no would not have done that

bath = normal course of life

Being 100's of miles away from your daughter, in a foreign country in the care of a young male who, let's face it it's unlikely she'd have known him that well = NOT normal course of life.

Of course I'm not perfect, but I have a basic ability to assess reasonable risk. Hers was NOT a reasonable risk.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2008 20:23

I agree with Pennies.

These scumbags also knew no one was around who'd be looking out for her.

tearinghairout · 13/03/2008 20:38

My dd is nearly 15 and if I wanted to go somewhere & she didn't want to come, what could I do?? Put a kiddy harness on her & drag her along? No, I'd leave her with someone I trusted, and who she was happy with.

Pennies · 13/03/2008 20:45

I bet you wouldn't if you were goig to be hundreds of miles way from her. In a foreign country. Which has poor comminucation systems. With a 25 year old bloke.

Sorry but until my children are no longer minors they will go where I go, or stay with family or professional carers (e.g. boarding school). If they refuse then sanctions will apply big time. It would cause humungous fights but I would be derelict in a my role as a parent if I put them at risk in that way.

tearinghairout · 13/03/2008 20:49

No, I wouldn't. It wouldn't apply to my family, a weekend sleepover with friends is as adventurous as my dch get. But what I'm trying to say is that at 15, you can't MAKE them accompany you; you make arrangements which suit everyone. No doubt the mother here would've felt happier if the whole family had been together, but Scarlett didn't want to go, and so she left her in the care of this friend and his respectable, responsible aunt, someone she had come to trust.

StripeyMama · 13/03/2008 20:56

The way I see it, we all assess risk differently, according to our experiences, lifestyles, circumstances and so on. If travelling is your way of life, you are likely to be more relaxed about certain things, such as allowing your 15yo to remain in the company of someone you believed you could trust. Children of travellers are often allowed far more freedom than their peers, and in this case it had tragic consequences. But the mother is not to blame for the rape and murder of her child - nobody but the shit that did it is.

I have to say that I do not think I'd have made the same choice as the mother in question, but as others have said, the girl was 15. Not a small child that can be made to do your bidding.

It turned out to be the worst decision she could have made and she has to live with that for the rest of her life.

chelsygirl · 13/03/2008 20:58

tearinghairout, how does anyone know the aunt was "his respectable, responsible aunt"

cos she is religious?

oxocube · 13/03/2008 20:59

But I guess that the issue here is that if Scarlett hadn't wanted to go, should the mother then have abandoned her plans? I'm sorry, but the child was 15 years old, left with a 25 year old guy, in a foreign country. I am desperately sorry for this mother but for God's sake, isn't it common sense not to do this?

chelsygirl · 13/03/2008 21:03

of course she should have abandoned her plans or did something alternative that would have suited all the family, not just left her on her own and pissed off anyway

Pennies · 13/03/2008 21:04

Don't tell me she couldn't have made her. She could have cut off her money, threatened to send her home etc.

MicrowaveOnly · 13/03/2008 21:40

Pennies when was the last time you met a 15 year old? as a teacher I deal with them everyday and some are more mature than a 16 year old, some are less. Maybe her mother thought she was mature enough, actually - maybe she was, but the rapist still got her anyway. Like they get women of ALL ages, The difference between 15 and 16 is only 1 year but plenty of adults are raped everyday...which proves age is pretty much irrelevant. Its about opportunity. And hats off to anyone who refuses to spend their life in cotton wool.

CoteDAzur · 13/03/2008 21:50

And many people die in car accidents every day. Still, being hit by a drunk driver is one thing (can't be foreseen - not your fault), and leaving your child in the middle of a motorway in rush hour is another thing entirely (disaster waiting to happen - the parent should have seen the danger)

Bramshott · 13/03/2008 21:50

The thing is - even if the mother had been there, who's to say this wouldn't have happened anyway? Presumably she was happy about letting her DD go out in the evenings, if she was happy for her to stay in Goa without the rest of the family.

IMO the police are very, very keen to point out the family's failings because they're terrified tourists will stop coming.