Respect for dead "at all time low"

[varicoseveined]

here

Huh?

That someone has suffered a loss does not automatically make them 'right'. Some people who have had a friend or family member killed by someone from a different racial group or culture become extremely, openly prejudiced against everyone from that racial or cultural group. It's understandable, but doesn't make it right and doesn't mean they should be allowed to make racist statements in public.

(Disclaimer, that's a hypothetical example and not directed at anyone who has posted on this thread_).

Quite right, madamez. But, surely you can see that good manners make everyone's life a little pleasanter, and cost nothing.

My Grandad died about 15years ago and i can still picture the girls driving past at a stupid speed laughing.They knew they should of slowed down!!

If people are becoming distressed by a thread which is not about attacking them personally, then surely it is up to them to step away from the thread.

madamez, I think you need to step away from the thread. I'm very far from a whiner or an hysterically self-indulged type but I think in you I've found one of the most heartless, self-centred and yes, disrespectful creatures I'm ever likely to have the misfortune to come across. Not to mention self-indulgent. Do you actually enjoy upsetting people?

I think Madamez has made logical points about this subject and others, quite understandably, have been swayed by their emotions.

I don't think anyone would advocate outright disrespect of the dead or the mourning. But a non-action of respect (failing to tip one's cap) doesn't necessarily make someone disrespectful.

Some people are merely questioning whether a slow moving funeral cortege is an outdated practise. The practise began at a time when people lived in small communities and the cortege was made up of horses and carriages.

Whilst one can acknowledge that it is nice to see people slowing down for hearses, tipping their caps and closing their curtains, these things not being mandatory do not necessarily signal disrespect or a falling apart society. It's simply different traditions for different times.

TodayToday, that's reasonable but that's not what Madamez is saying. I'm not a great hat-tipper myself but I don't "resent" funeral corteges when I'm in a hurry.

Nobody's asking anyone to bend over backwards to respect a passing funeral but just show a little moderation.

It's a get over yourself situation.

No one has yet answered Universally Challenged's comment about the difficulties long corteges can cause her, I note.

The answer is, it's just a fact of life (or death). It's no different to any other problem like this that arises in anyone's day to day life. Like when you get on a train and it's delayed because someone's been taken ill or worse, because someone's thrown themselves under a train {cue whinging about how bourgeois people who commit suicide are }.

You can't plan for it but it happens so you just get on with it.

Difficulties? You mean it adds a few extra minutes on to your journey? Or you may have take a detour to avoid it? Those sort of difficulties? Gosh, the inconvenience

If people aren't stopping in the street, dipping their heads or shutting shops up, what is the point of the slow moving cortege? genuine question... what is lost to the mounrners if the cars drive at the speed limit?

You know, when I read the title of this thread, I wondered if it was going to be about an outbreak of grave desecration or necrophilia. Instead it turns out to be some people thinking that their particular choice of funeral rites should take precedence over everything else. Discussing whether big corteges are practical and reasonable is not saying that funerals should be banned altogether.

I think what was upsetting was that the article suggested that people have so little time and patience for others, that at a time of huge grief and upheaval for some, others can't show a modicum of restraint and empathy.

Fio and others can I refer you to my post last night at 23:22 where I quite explicitly lay out my opinion - I live very near a funeral parlour and I am constantly required to accomdate funerals and always do so whilst teaching my children what is required.

I do not however believe that God has anything to do with this nor that the loss any individual has suffered allows them to dictate how others should behave nor should those suffering a breavement expect ALL society to accomodate their expectations or empathise with their loss - some people just don't.

SMBK - not sure if that was directed at me or not, but if it was then as i said - no detour available, cant leave work early every day on the chance there may be a funeral procession, so dcs left waiting again.

So "difficulties " yes. and no answers I see. Apart from moving schools re the "why buy a house near it" comment- oh that we all had loads of choice