Respect for dead "at all time low"

[varicoseveined]

here

the attitude of this poster is appalling:

"The whole concept of a funeral cortege is outdated and should be abolished.Why can't the mourners just make their own ways to the graveyard/crematorium and hold their service there.The idea that I should have to waste my time following a hearse procession travelling at 10mph is outrageous and shows no respect for me or the value I place on my time."

Posted by Pierce on February 12, 2008 6:03 PM

Shocking
When my Nanny died 10 years ago, a taxi driver stopped on a roundabout blocking the traffic so our funeral cortege could get on and off the roundabout together. Really courteous of him. Sad to see this behaviour is in decline.

This doesn't surprise me I was part of a funeral procession last year for my DH's much loved Grandma and I was tagged on the back in our 'normal' car as I had DD in a carseat, the amount of people cutting in front of me/tailgating the limos/screaming past overtaking at ridiculous speeds and generally behaving like arseholes really shocked me and I was glad my MIL couldn't see the worst it as she was in the first car.

So what? I can't understand why anyone would have respect for the dead. I do have mannners however and would always stop for funeral processions from respect for the bereaved Maybe this modern lack of manners shows increased poverty of time?

Throwing of stones etc, is yobbishness and just reflects the decline in law and order.

Doesn't surprise me at all. People (those like Pierce) are so bloody self obsessed these days. He wants respect but isn't willing to take 5 minutes to respect others. Prat.

That's a good point Upwind, about respect being for the bereaved... hadn't thought about that.

Poverty of time my arse. Everyone has got two minutes to wait for a funeral cortege to go by.

i always have respect for the dead and will teach my ds as i have been taught you want respect in life you deserve it when you leave also

always a pain when someones else's family to some people but god forbid if someone was to disrespect theres

just because cars ahve to go slow why does every one feel they have to go at some mad pace in life especially when funeral in process

i like the fact i was raised the way i was i worked with elderly and layed alot of bodies out and sat with alot of people when dying had alot die on kme and nothing but respect from beginning to end when i was doing this

why shouldnt we all have some of the old morals and values when everyone had time for each other im 28 yrs old nearly and love how i have been raised to think will raise my ds the same

I stopped to let a hearse and following cars pass by a parked car on their side of the road the other day. The car behind me sounded their horn the entire - oooh - 30 seconds they had to wait.

I feel really about this, I remember my Grandad's funeral, we were really mad to see a car cut into the procession, when we got to the graveyard, it was the Vicar!!! I always feel really sad when I see a funeral procession and remember how awful I feel when I have to attend a funeral.

When my best friend died she has a horse drawn funeral with a police escort on an A road.

I get really cross when people cut in to funeral cars

Some places have a cortege-etiquette in that those in the procession drive with their hazzards on so that the general public then know not to cut-in. I think it is places like Swindon do this; a very good idea IMO because how is someone to know that a "normal" car is part of the procession - it isn't all that easy usually...

I think it is horrendous that such behaviour is in decline myself. I recently waited for 15 minutes whilst the cortege in the village left the chapel; there were LOADS of cars! I didn't mind one bit though and waited until the last one had left as I was the first in the queue so I decided when to move off; the people behind me were not impressed though (selfish pigs)

I'd be horrified to think that I'd cut in in front of a car that was part of the cortege, but you can't always tell. Idea of hazard lights is a good one.

And Pierce is an arse.

Given the sheer numbers of people living, and dying, in urban areas and the number of funeral processions, it's not that unreasonable to resent having to crawl along behind a hearse when you need to be somewhere in a hurry. Bereavement, like birth and getting married, doesn't suddenly make the whole world revolve around you and while it's perfectly reasonable to expect appropriate behaviour in the premises you have booked or hired for your ceremony, how do you know that (for instance) the driver whizzing past you doesn't have a madly labouring woman in the back seat, or only 20 minutes to get to the hospital to say goodbye to a dying beloved? Even if the person in a hurry is 'only' desperate to get to a job interview on time, why should a cortege be entitled to inconvenience loads of other people who didn;t know the deceased and don't know the bereaved? Corteges are outdated and should be phased out.

I have lost two of my four darling sons. I think the world we live in at the moment, is disrespectful and revolting.

When my second son died the entire area came to a halt - not a leafy suburb but a busy town. It was the most amazing sight, people stood on the streets in respect. A lady on our estate blowing a kiss to my little boy.

I would like to rip off peoples heads who dont care about others, god help them if they are ever in my position.

I am trying to teach my 4th DS born when I was almost 41 and after the death of his two much older brothers, to respect people, not to laugh at our peoples disabilities, problems or struggles. Anyone who is a parent and dosent teach their child these vital life skills is a disgrace.

Would love to debate this topic - imagine most people have gone to bed by now - I, however have had very poor sleep since my two sons died - especially the second child in 1992 who was crushed to death by a reversing lorry - yet another disrespectful swine who had no idea how to drive.

Im sorry to have slightly lost the plot on this thread but it makes my blood boil.

Well Shabby, no need to tell you my feelings on this subject. I will never forget the hearse pulling away from here with my darling boy, I rember seeing all the old londoners who live in the bungalows near me had closed all their curtains out of respect, never forgotten that. As for those mindless, thoughtless people, well all I can say is, "their turn will come".

shabster and triplets-so sorry for your losses
i think the deceased and theyre families deserve respect and think its lowest of low if its not shown.

Thank you moljam - the comment before my first post made my blood boil.

triplets - thank you so much for your support
we will always be 'friends through loss'

Oh I'm so sorry, Shabster and Triplets.

I once had to go a funeral where the service was 60 miles from the burial ground. I had wondered whether the hearse would maintain a sedate speed down the motorway but was startled to find it maintained a solid 80m an hour - we had no idea how to find the graveyard and had rather a struggle to keep up through the traffic. Rather panic inducing as due to a flat tyre we'd arrived late for the service, had to sneak in the back and tell lots of fibs about how yes, we'd managed to see most of the service and wasn't the sermon moving...

Well if you got your arse out of bed on time madamez, you wouldn't worry about being held up for a job interview. If the job requires compassion or empathy you don't have a chance anyway.

It is sad that people have lost the art of using manners and giving respect.

It is not only funerals that suffer but the living in trouble as well - the amount of cars that do not stop to let fire or ambulances past always amazes me I do think though that these same drivers would have a shock if they got home and found their house on fire and their children inside and the fire engine had been delayed by none other than themselves - no point in arriving before the fire engine is there?

So when I hear the siren I think it could be one of my own it is going to save and pull over - it just that the car behind overtakes ahhh

I agree with princessosyth about madamez.

When my nan died we had my uncle bike chapter as out riders so we could get to the service on time.

I was trying explain to my 4yr old why we had to stop and wait while a Cortege went passed.

I have just been to pick my dd up and on the way I came across a funeral, the undertaker was walking in front of the cortege and I slowed down - even though I was travelling in the opposite direction.

This was on a main road and yes, there were a few cars in a trail behind - but not more than 5-6 and the cortage was nearing the church.

A few minutes reflection should really be possible in our busy lives. One day we will all be in that same position