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Madeleine McCann

1606 replies

morningpaper · 11/09/2007 20:49

Instead of starting lots of new posts about Madeleine, could I politely request that anyone who wants to post on the subject please post on this one thread? (N.B. Duplicate threads may be flamed hysterically.)

Please note that this thread is not to criticise Madeleine's parents or family, as this is not in the spirit of Mumsnet.

Please can I take the liberty to quote from this article:

"This is the real life of Kate and Gerry McCann, and it must now have become a place of agony beyond all understanding. Pity them, if you have any compassion at all, and demonstrate the minimum of grace: the ability to desist from judgment."

OP posts:
Bessie123 · 12/09/2007 15:07

Good diary, redbundle

octoandflash · 12/09/2007 15:08

Over and out from me - have had my mn hit for the week. Try to keep it friendly. Twinkle - what a horrible time you've had hun - you poor thing x

Blu · 12/09/2007 15:24

Twinkie - yes, you know how you would react - but people are very very different, and in different circumstances. Also - you held it together very very well in difficult circumstances wheb=n you had6 too^ - in court, for example - when in front of other people. The first reports from Luz were the Mark warner rep talking about how 'dark' things were for the family and how distressed thery were. He did the first news interviews, not the McCanns. (fact). They had counselling about how to structure their day and time and focus, so as to get through it. Gerry wrote about that. (fact).

There is so little published fact as evidence. No published conclusive evidence about any sedation, no published conclusive evidence about DNA links. The Portuguese police have downplayed that evidence. many experienced scientific spokespeople have said that a microscoppic sample of skin could give a full match, and would be all over a cuddly toy. So much of this speculation is built on unconfirmed reports by unnamed 'sources' in media well-known for publishing supposition before facts are checked.

Everything is speculation.

RedBundle · 12/09/2007 15:26

I've had some very trying and distressing events in my life in the past year, but it was one of the more "trivial" things (in the big picture, iyswim) which pushed me over the edge into what can only be described as a meltdown. The death of my father & other similarly traumatic events affected me, yes, but I still managed to function for a while, which quite surprised me.

pagwatch · 12/09/2007 15:40

Twink Just home and seen your post.
I hope you don't think I was telling you how to act in my posts. I was saying that we all act differently ( only with really a LOT more words) and that we shouldn't judge others if they don't act as we expect them too.
I hope I haven't said anything to offend you.

eleusis · 12/09/2007 15:41

I have a friend whose daughter dies when she was ten. It was so heartbreaking I can't even put it into words. She was calm cool collected, even at the funeral. Many many people told her how impressed they were and that she was doing so well. I said this to her once and she said "You know what, I'm not. Everyone think I'm fine but they are giving me too much credit."

She was calm and she was strong for her DD (who had always been very sick and needed a lot of care). And that was how she dealt with it. She was the tower of strength for the both of them. She was a single teenage mum. And she rose to the occassion because she had no choice.

It just shows you really can't judge a book by its cover.

Jennifer8 · 12/09/2007 15:48

I don't know why and it is worrying me that when I see them, I automatically feel a sense that they are guilty of something. It distresses me and I keep trying to figure out why my subconscious leaps to such a horrible conclusion, but can't understand.

I know there is every chance they didn't do anything.
So why do I feel so angry with them?

Bessie123 · 12/09/2007 15:51

Jennifer, that probably says more about you tbh

Jennifer8 · 12/09/2007 15:58

Yes I know, but I don't know WHAT it says or why.

I hate it

Honestly I was only asking, I'm not implying it means they ARE guilty of anything. It's just my weirdo mind...

kerala · 12/09/2007 16:00

I am sure their involving the media was done with the best motives. However it has now got horribly out of control and is a horrendous juggernaut - comment pieces, headlines etc. He who sups with the devil should use a long spoon as the cliche goes.

pagwatch · 12/09/2007 16:01

hmmmn ( stokes beard and peers over glasses) perhaps you are angry that this case has made you feel vulnerable for some reason and , as they are the physical representations of this case......
Or - no idea

lucyellensmum · 12/09/2007 16:02

jennifer, that is not a useful post at all. You probably feel this way because you are sucked in by the media hype and frenzy. ARe you a particularly easily lead person, or can you normally form your own opinions?

beansprout · 12/09/2007 16:02

Er, could you at least have the decency to remember why they "supped with the devil" in the first place? I had assumed it was out of terror and desperation rather than in a bid to seek attention?

RedBundle · 12/09/2007 16:03

jennifer

what you are feeling isn't "automatic", it's a result of what you've been hearing in the media

maybe you feel angry about them leaving their children on their own while they enjoyed themselves. I think a lot of us find the situation the McCanns are in v uncomfortable because they are like a lot of us (middle class, professionals, having a holiday with their children and a break from quite a busy hectic life) and we probably can identify with them

Squiffy · 12/09/2007 16:03

I swore I would not post on any of these threads... but this article here says everything I feel on this specific aspect rather eloquently

wannaBe · 12/09/2007 16:04

I think the media response to this has been far worse because of where it happened. If Madeleine had disappeared in this country the police would have been giving more regular statements to the press, and therefore the media wouldn?t have had the need to speculate on what might, or might not, be happening.

Because we live in a 24 hour news society, the news broadcasters fee under some pressure to report ?24 hour? news. After all, people aren?t going to tune in in the morning and again at night to hear that nothing has happened since they last switched on, and therefore the broadcasters feel that they have to provide some kind of update, even if that is based on rumour and supposition.
But the media know what sells papers, and that is why they do it. Conveniently the news channels/papers seem to have neglected to mention that as well as Kate and Gerry Mccann, any evidence on Robert Murat is also being handed over to the prosecutors, but Robert Murat is old news, and there?s a good chance he will be cleared, so it?s not sensationalist enough to mention him.

Whether we agree with what is being written or not, if people weren?t reading it, then the media wouldn?t be printing it.

kerala · 12/09/2007 16:04

Thats why I said I understood their motives for doing it. I would have done the same I guess. But sure they nor anyone else could have anticipated it would end up like this.

lucyellensmum · 12/09/2007 16:05

sorry, that sounded bitchy and it wasnt my intention I just htink it is easy to get sucked in by the undercurrent of suggestiong. I tend to think the express is very good at presenting things in such a way as to suspect the Mc Canns, by quoting portugese press where other papers have refrained from this a little more

Jennifer8 · 12/09/2007 16:13

LucyEllen'sMum I understand, thanks for apologising, I was a bit upset when I read your reply.

I wasn't intending to be useful to anyone else, or suggest that somehow I must be right if I think this way, but I was questioning my own 'unthought-out' reaction, in case anyone could help me sort it out.

There's no rational explanation for it. It's disturbing and I wonder if it is indeed down to media speculation. The insinuation that they are guilty seems to be everywhere with no firm evidence.

I know I took a dislike to Gerry because of a video clip someone linked to on another thread, and also his web log which I cannot comprehend. Again, just me, not rational.
He probably just reminds me of someone else I didn't like. I don't know the guy.

So it's a bit ridiculous really!

Sorry if what I said got anyone's back up. It wasn't supposed to.

Lolly68 · 12/09/2007 16:16

I agree with Squiffy.

lucyellensmum · 12/09/2007 16:20

Jennifer, i am truly sorry that i uspet you, i guess i am on my high horse today. It is very difficult to be objective with such an emotive case and the media play on our emotions in order to keep us hooked. All of our reactions to this are fueled by the media, it is such a terrible saga.

I do not have personal feelings regarding the Mc Canns at all, just empathy. I have read Gerry's blog, i find it surreal tbh. I read the day to day stuff and i see a man desperately trying to remain positive and strong for his family, so if some of his posts are a bit off the wall i can forgive him that.

We are all going feel very strongly about this and i always tend to respond quite quickly to what i see written, with the first thing that comes into my head. Actually i have often found myself doing that on MN, i find myself arguing hammer and tong with someone on one thread, only to find myself agreeing on another and striking up a little reparte, MN is a strange thing. It allows us just to blurt out what we think without really being able to comprehend how what we post affects others. I genuinely didnt want to upest you and i do feel my post was also unhelpful and would like to apologise for that.

Jennifer8 · 12/09/2007 16:23

No worries LEM, I do the same, it's absolutely fine My posts can come across as a bit thick anyway! Looks like we share some of these feelings at least, that's all II wanted to know, that I wasn't the only one having trouble with the whole thing popping into my head all the time.

Thanks, see you about I expect x

wannaBe · 12/09/2007 16:25

we've all done it though? Made an assumption of someone based on what we've seen of them? How many of us have seen someone in the shop/the park/just out there and thought they were odd/creepy/weird/whatever? In the same way as you'd see someone out with their kids for instance and think what a lovely person..?

As humans we all judge others, even if it's on a subconscious level, and if you have additional info then you have that much more to go on iykwim.

Jennifer8 · 12/09/2007 16:37

It's true Wannabe, I think most of us do. Sadly a lot of the time I get it wrong though! I fancied a guy for ages once. The second I heard his voice it was such a let down.
I haven't trusted my intuition since!

HorribleHorace · 12/09/2007 16:37

i am still getting the sense that there is a feeling of dis belief from most people. i don't believe the media (in this country) have turned on the McCann's just yet. There still seems to be a majority of support for them. I get the feeling more from the reporting that the media believe they have been set up (but that's probably just my take on it)

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