Madeleine McCann

[morningpaper]

Instead of starting lots of new posts about Madeleine, could I politely request that anyone who wants to post on the subject please post on this one thread? (N.B. Duplicate threads may be flamed hysterically.)

Please note that this thread is not to criticise Madeleine's parents or family, as this is not in the spirit of Mumsnet.

Please can I take the liberty to quote from this article:

"This is the real life of Kate and Gerry McCann, and it must now have become a place of agony beyond all understanding. Pity them, if you have any compassion at all, and demonstrate the minimum of grace: the ability to desist from judgment."

MsHigh talked about leaving one in a room alone with baby listening.
No ones being aggressive here janitor, no need to be like that.

Fair enough, nikos, but it's not fair to suggest that because I have one dd (yes, I do actually just have the one but you didn't know that I don't have any other dcs until I just told you) I can't possibly understand how much watching children take. Even with just one, I do know it. I don't think that really has any bearing on the McCanns situation.

Good post, happy prince.
I too wonder why the McCanns arouse such hatred in some people, including in some posters on here sadly. In some cases I think its a kind of adverse snobbery, sort of "oh look at those la de da doctors, they might be educated and live in a posh house but even I, a humble whatever, wouldn't do what they did and now they're getting their comeuppance." Sad but true. I thought I'd seen a bit of the world and knew what people were like but I was surprised and disgusted at the vehemence of some people towards the McCanns.
Personally, although I think they made a mistake, I feel nothing but heartfelt sorrow for them and for Madeleine. And as for mistakes, we've all made them no matter how smug some of us like to sound. I left my eldest dd in a hotel room (without a baby monitor) whilst dh and I were in the bar. Fortunately I 'got away with it' unlike the McCanns but that doesn't make me a better parent than them, just a luckier one.

nico's I genuinely don't understand it either

and quattro, that was a really excellent post, totally agree with you

Bogwobbit, I find it difficult to take to her.
I do not think that is unusual. I saw the interview of Julia Hollander and found it difficult to take to her, too.
Some people /women/actors/ you see on tv, are just appealing, more.
And that is a very personal thing.

bog, I don't think snobbery has anything to do with it

when I see the McCann's I see two very, intelligent, decent, loving people and the fact they found it acceptable to leave those babies alone totally baffles me, i don't think i am better or worse and I don't think they "deserve it", I'm just amazed/aghast at their decision

i cried and cried watching that last night
so sad.

Their decision baffles me too. I can only assume as happy prince has says that they were lulled into a sense of false security by the apparent 'safeness' of the resort and the fact that their friends were doing the same thing. However, people do things that baffle me all the time and tbh when I look back at some of the things I've done in the past, I'm baffled by them too
I still think there's a bit of inverted snobbery in some peoples hatred of them though.

I am desperately sympathetic to the McCann's. I have taken some risks as a mother which I have, luckily, got away with but will never repeat.

I do not, however, think that Nicos' posts are patronising - they are making me see the case in a new light. This is also the first time I have heard that the children were crying on other nights and that a babysitter had been offered. Is that hearsay or established fact?

Also, why did all the friends go out every night in a group and leave all the children, rather than having a babysitting rota?

I actually couldn't bear to watch the documentary last night. Too sad. Even reading about it on the news now, almost a year later, makes me feel almost ill with sadness

MMJ
"surely you don't have to like someone to empathise with them? "
I do. I didn't say I didn't

poor little girl!

my little girl is only a month younger.

poor family.

janni, your post
"Also, why did all the friends go out every night in a group and leave all the children, rather than having a babysitting rota?"

my instinct is to reply "because they were all selfish gits too"

I know this gets us nowhere but I just want to say how unneccesary all this pain would be if someone had given up a meal out for 1 night only

I only make the point about three children as opposed to one, to say that the potential for accidents/waking up is much greater. And so it was in this case, as Madeleine said that the night before both her and Sean were crying.

You're right moreJellothanJlo, it gets us nowhere. So why say it?

No really. Why?

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article3725292.ece

Apparently the stories about her crying on other nights is perfectly true (see above) although the McCanns were furious that it got into the public domain.

Couldn't believe GM said today in teh interview that he enjoyed the meals out without children!Even if you think it don't say it when one of your cchildren is missing as a result.Also the descriptions and timings of the checks are so confused and convoluted I'm not surprised people doubt them

Quattro, what I think the McCanns were upset about was that information from their original witness statements given to the Portuguese police were, despite the judicial secrecy laws which prevent the McCanns from saying some of what they would like, leaked to the press on the very day that they were launching the Written Declaration about the Amber Alert. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Kate said today in reference to the crying on other nights not that is hadn't happened or that it was distressing but that she was annoyed that info had been leaked and she didn't want to dwell on it !?!?!?

noddyholder, what would be the point of dwelling on it? What is done is done. Going back over it does nothing to help find Madeleine, does it?

As in my previous post, I think their annoyance had more than a little to do with the timing of the leak.

I would like them to go back to portugal and answer the questions they refused take part in a reconstruction and take a lie detector.I would like them to show some dignity and stop hawking their missing childs face around and accusing all and sundry of not looking for her when they jogged every day after she disappeared and never once flew to any of the countries where she was 'seen'when I think most parents would have been on the next flight,.I realise I don't represent the majority but I have felt like this from day one and have seen nothing to change my mind

noddyholder, what questions did they refuse to answer and why? What purpose would a lie detector be - this isn't Jeremy Kyle. I imagine jogging is a way of coping, trying for a few minutes to focus on something other than the despair they must feel. Not necessarily heartlessly enjoying themselves.. You complain that they "hawk their missing childs face around" then that they never flew to any of the countries suggesting that they have done both too much and not enough in your opinion - how can they win?

I don't believe them and am not going to further entertain this thread sorry as I will prob say too much and don't want to go there Goodnight.