Hello everyone,
I'm sorry I haven't been on mumsnet recently. I've seen a couple of posts asking me to post - I wasn't ignoring you I promise - I just haven't been online as much.
I haven't read through all the posts - but I've read a fair bit and I just wanted to try and answer some of the questions I've seen. Shout if I've missed some - I've no interest in hiding anything.
Why did SS get involved with me?
They got involved after I called the police because of an incredibly difficult incident with my ex-partner. There is no lawful reason why I can't give more details, I just won't at the moment out of respect for the other people involved. However, even social services agree that I acted protectively (of Molly) in calling the police when I did. The police, quite rightly, called social services after the incident to talk through their concerns. This resulted in everyone involved being interviewed. At this point my mental health history was fully and immediately revealed. From there, and I don't yet know how, a paediatrician became involved and raised the spectre of Munchausen's by Proxy.
What is the other side to this?
Well, obviously I can't answer that! I can say though, and it's up to you if you believe me, is that to my knowledge there are no facts in the case that aren't in the public domain. Up until this happened to me, and even now sometimes, I am sceptical of what I hear and read about the system. It seems impossible to believe that it could truly be this bad in some, hopefully rare, cases. My experience though is that once the system begins down one particular track it is very, very difficult to get them to change direction.
Why not a mother and baby unit?
I wish I knew. At the moment as far as I understand the local authority haven't been able to find one which would be able to provide appropriate supervision. They have however been furnished with the details of several units which have a great deal of experience regarding Munchausen's by Proxy (verified and simply alleged), and which can also provide 24 hour supervision.
Do I still self-harm/have mad days/wail at the moon/behave in a generally objectionable fashion?
Well, no. I haven't self harmed since I was 16. I have no current mental health diagnosis. I probably could be said to be objectionable currently at times, but in my defence I'm 31 weeks pregnant and under quite some stress. (Sorry for the "tongue in cheek", but proving that a person is sane is a nigh on impossible task...sanity or lack thereof isn't a binary issue)
All I want is what I've asked for all along - a chance to give Molly the very best start in life I can. Molly deserves to be with those who love her, the chance to form those crucial attachments during the very first days and weeks of her life, and to be cared for physically by being breastfed. These are not my rights, they are Molly's. I truly believe that Molly's rights can be preserved, whilst also ensuring her most sacred right to be safe, if we are together in a Mother and Baby unit.
I hope this helps. Thanks for all the support.
Fran