Children's Society report that nearly 2/3rds of us aren't able to spend enough time with children because of pressure of life and work - what are your thoughts?

[JustineMumsnet]

Hi all,
We've been asked for the Mumsnet take on a new report by the Children's Society which say that family life is under threat because of the pressures of work.

From the Children?s Society:

FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS STRUGGLING REVEALS NEW SURVEY
Date: 17 July 2007

Family relationships appear to be under threat as parents across the UK struggle with the demands of work, raising concerns over how much time they can spend with their children, a new poll commissioned by The Children's Society highlights today.

From this survey of UK adults, 61% said that parents nowadays don't get enough time to spend with their children while almost half of those questioned (48%) said that they had to put their career first even if this affected their family life. These results reflect the growing dilemmas over childcare British parents can feel when trying to juggle the many demands of modern life in a country that already puts in some of the longest working hours in Western Europe.

The survey, conducted by GfK NOP, is the second in a series called reflections on childhood commissioned by The Children's Society as part of its Good Childhood Inquiry - the UK's first independent national inquiry into childhood.

When adults were asked if a pre-school child was likely to suffer if his or her mother worked, almost half of all participants (48%) disagreed, but a significant number (37%) agreed. Two thirds (67%) of respondents said they didn't believe that parents should stay together when they didn't get along, even when there are children in the family.

Children contributing to The Good Childhood Inquiry* however, saw a happy home life as one in which they spent time together as a family. Although several submissions from children spoke of parents being too busy to spend time with them, saying:

'When your parents are always arguing or have full time jobs they don't spend any time with you. You feel lonely with nobody to talk to and all you can do is play on the computer or watch TV.'

Overwhelmingly, both the GfK NOP survey and the submissions to the inquiry identified love as the most important component for a happy childhood - 67% of adults polled and 70% of children's submissions.

Bob Reitemeier, chief executive of The Children's Society said: 'Family is hugely important in the lives of all children yet modern society appears to be pulling them apart. Only by taking a closer look at how a child's need for family can be met in the context of the 21st century, can we ensure a good childhood for all children. Without this fresh perspective and a better understanding of how to support families, we risk damaging the successful growth and development of future generations.'

(Daily Mail report here)

Would love to know what you think?

Feck.. need ot get my ass of mumsnet and go spend time with ds... Bye

Excellent post, Twigg. Couldn't have put it better myself.

Would be interested to know how many people responded to the survey, rather than just the percentages.
Can't find it in the link.

cornsilk - if my mother was any guide to most mothers, then very little. This was in the late 60's and early 70's. She had a largish house and garden to look after without help. She made all our clothes and made all our food from scratch - growing a lot of it. When I was very small they had a twin tub washing machine. SO I helped her or played on my own. She did some stuff with me - flash cards mainly but not much. She was too busy. I don't think I was that unusual.

Agree that the question is academic for most. Unless there is no financial necessity to work, people don't genuinely make a "choice" about these things - they do what works best.

i am a sahm having been fortunate enough to have the choice to give up a well paid career.

i'm certainly not one of the middle classes however.

it's amazing how everyone appears to take sides in these debates and blame other people for making them feel inferior.

going back to the original point, it is society and government who have created the lack of choice for parents, government and society who dictate that we should be home owners, work to create an expected standard of living and leave our children with strangers who have basic qualifications, work for minimum wage and have no time to individually raise our children to our own individual standards.

so ultimately, i do believe that the government has created a situation that is detrimental to the future generations

if we are all honest and look at the child's perspective it is better to be at home with family.

"if we are all honest and look at the child's perspective it is better to be at home with family"

I think the jury is still out on that one nightshade. It depends on such a range of things.

here, here

personally i think we should

shock, horror

work the same hours as the children have school.
ie. 9 - 3pm mon to fri
school hols off
summer holiday off (how do parents who work manage children in the holidays? there must be loads of unsuitable aged latch-key kids just because of the summer holidays being 6 weeks and most peoples holiday allocation being 4 weeks a year!!).

not children having the same hours as we work.

oops thought i was after unquiedad!

We'd all love that, casbie, but the economy would fall apart.

I bet nobody would object to working those hours FOR THE SAME PAY.

Casbie, Re your comment

"(how do parents who work manage children in the holidays? there must be loads of unsuitable aged latch-key kids just because of the summer holidays being 6 weeks and most peoples holiday allocation being 4 weeks a year!!)."

Er no, most working parents arrange and pay for suitable childcare. Why would you tihnk they wouldn't?

I could have written your post, anniemac. My dd does the "going to work" thing too

Totally disagree with your post nightshade -although of course that doesn't mean I disagree with your decision. "If we are all honest and look at the child's perspective it is better to be at home with family" is simplistic tosh imo.

Ironic, given your own comments about taking sides and making others feel inferior.

And I don't take my holiday all in one 4 week block in the school holiday, otherwise how would I cope with

half term x 2
easter x 2 weeks
Christmas holiday x whatever

And I get 35 days holiday a year.

Beleive me casbie! I wish I could leave my kids during the holidays. I'm struggling with last minute child care problems atm. I'm thinking of throwing a sicky TBH We all manage somehow but it's difficult.

We're lucky, beacsue DW is a teacher so she gets the same hols as the children.

Friends who have other jobs take their holidays during the school holidays, one person at a time, and use them entirely for childcare, with maybe one overlapping week when they can all go away together.

Just as an aside; if they really do mean 3and4yr olds when they say pre-schoolers then surely nursery is good for them. My DS goes tonursery 3 mornings a week and loves it. He asks to go on the days he doesn't. Hestops on Friday and it's going to be a long summer for both of us.

just think of the stress it would lift!

Casbie, friends of mine with school age children work very hard to come up with creative childcare arrangements over the summer - including sports camps etc which obviously cost money, and a week here and there with grandparents where feasible.

I certainly don't know anyone whose 8-year-olds are roaming the streets.

'if we are all honest and look at the child's perspective it is better to be at home with family.'

Not when the kid's going to live the life of a homeless child because the parents couldn't afford to pay rent if they didn't go out to earn a crust.

FFS, I'm getting ever so sick of all these shit excuses for journalism that make it all seem like some 'lifestyle choice' and that if we all 'lived within our means' we could be SAHPs living in nice houses.

And the assumption that anyone who goes out to work does so to afford luxuries, gadgets, foreign holidays, etc.

Yawn.

How boring and unoriginal. Right up there with breast v. bottle 'debates'.