Are you a Ms, a Mrs or a Miss?

[Botbot]

article here

I'm a Ms, cos I'm not married and am far too old to be a Miss.

I remember the day I made the decision to be a Ms. Was in the late 80s, I was a teenager and my dad, who worked for a bank, told me that they were recruiting, and that any CVs that had 'Ms' on them were automatically binned. I was and decided then I was a) going to be a Ms and b) was never going to work in a bank. Oh and I didn't speak to him for the rest of the day

just dont see why our marital status needs to be drawn attention to with every greeting or addressing. it isnt for men. they are just Mr, married or otherwise.
so why arent we just plain Ms?
why does everyone and their dog need to know about our personal lives all the time??

I'm with Tranquliamanana.

Tranquil, that's exactly why I started going by Mrs before I was married. I don't have anything against Ms (used it before I came up with the Mrs idea) but as mentioned below, people do think you are making some kind of statement with it. If everyone went by Mrs, marital status wouldn't have to come into it at all; after all, Master has all but fallen out of use. Instead of having three very unsatisfactory options, why not boot Miss the same way and all be Mrses (not sure what the correct plural of Mrs is, but anyway) from the moment we reach an age where we need a title at all.

Obviously, I'm a Mrs. I love being a Mrs, I love DH's surname, much more than my maiden name. I love wearing a wedding ring.

I think I got far more respect over the telephone after I started using Mrs.

I'm Ms Maiden Name and proud of it. DH comes from Iceland where names do not change on marriage and there is no title change. You're always known as Firstname Dad's Firstname's son/daughter. eg, Arabica Mosesdottir. Some families use the mum's name instead, eg Arabica Madonnasdottir. These aren't my real parents.

I met Mr Right rather late in life by which time I was too used to my own name. We aren't married and the kids have his name and I'm just still myself.
Also we are both self employed, my business is in my own name so being Mrs someone else would cause confusion and probably lose me work. When potential clients ring up for one of us and the other answers the phone we are quite used to him being called Mr (my name) or me being called Mrs (his name) and we don't put the caller right.
In the 80's Ms seemed to be used by divorcees so I think that's what put me off.

I like the idea of being a Mrs but I'm not sure about DP's surname. Unfortunately, it won't hypenate with my surname very well since my surname is also a verb .

Maybe I need to find a new DP to marry .

Arabica,
Thanks for the reassurance that you aren't the daughter of Moses and Madonna - fascinating though that image is!!

I am Ms Maiden-Name - I like my name plus dh is Asian and, as I am white, the idea of introducing myself as Mrs Asian-Name felt faintly ridiculous. Also, as my father is dead, I feel having his name means I still have part of him.

I find it strange that people see being a Miss or Mrs an invasion of privacy. Does this mean you don't wear wedding rings either? I like people to know I'm married, I'm proud of the fact that I am and don't feel belittled or like a different person by having taken on DH's surname. I also like the fact that we have the same surname as our children, I don't think I'd feel like we were a 'proper' family if we all had different names.

I'm Brian

Aree with Moomas - I am proud to have my husband's surname and proud that I am married to him. Prior to being married I was a Miss.

I am a Mrs. stressteddy
I see no prob with taking my husband's name whatsoever

I am also a very proud Mrs. I don't feel that it takes away from me as an individual at all. I love that it pegs me as my Dh's wife. I think its sad that people feel their status as an individual depends on their names. I am an individual but also part of a couple.

I have a chinese husband and i am white, i have taken his name but it doesn't seem to confuse anyone that i have a chinese surname.

ps my dad also died when i was young, luckily i got his eyes so don't need to keep his name.

Me too Veggiemummy

DHs surname is better than mine, so I am Mrs

Misst4me - i am making a statement by using Ms.

Arabica ? lol at ?these are not my real parents?. Sounds a nice tradition.

Moosma ? i would wear a wedding ring if i had one. I do wear my engagement ring. A man can wear a wedding ring, but his title doesn?t change, why should a womans? Why is it relevant to the gas board for eg to know if im married or not? Honestly confused.

And we are and feel v much like a ?proper? family. Even if we had a different name each, we?d feel that way i think. It is mildly inconvenient to have to clarify names, surnames and titles on a fairly regular basis, but i don?t think i?ll decide what to call myself or my children based on how confusing other people find it.

Surnames is another thing really... i can see reasons not to change and i can see that im not bothered by them much either... tbph, i havnt yet decided conclusively what ill choose when we do get round to getting married. I might take his and use both. I am happy to be identified as his wife, and happy too to keep the name i am v much used to... would feel wierd to give up my name altogether i think.

I always write Ms and say it if asked. I don?t actually go to the bother of correcting people who get it wrong ? good lord, lifes too short to get het up by some random stranger getting my name a bit wrong the one and only time i am ever going to speak to them.

[apols for essay!][

Why is it relevant to the gas board for eg to know if im married or not?

I see your point about the gas board (it strikes me as quite funny when you put it like that!).

But as for the bit about men not changing so why should we? I see it as a privelege for women. Poor old men don't get anything apart from a ring, we get a whole new name and title!!

I didn't used to like the sound of 'Ms' as it sounded miserable IYSWIM. However, I now use it wherever possible ( some forms still don't give the option ) as I really don't see why anyone needs to know my marital status and certainly why how I am addressed should vary. Men can blithely go through life without this problem it is about time the same went for women.

This is so interesting, thank you for posting the article! I've not read any of the posts yet, just the article, but will do after Easties in 4 minutes!
Up until 5 minutes ago, my opinion was that "Ms" was for women who were either gay or given-up on all remote possibility of finding someone and getting hitched (I guess I had a very middle class mum-at-home-doing-macrame background ). I got married 2 years ago and moved straight from a Miss to a Mrs. I'm now seperated and at work, where I kept my maiden name, I'm Miss XXX. At school, anything to do with my daughter, on all bills, mortgage etc I am Mrs XXXX. However, I'd not particularly considered the fact that Ms implies independance, ragardless of the surname. My ex's family name means absolutely nothing to me whereas my maiden name means loads, we can trace parts of the family tree back to the 11th centuary and the name itself back to the 16th centuary. Where was I.... Oh yes! So my preferance would be to return to my maiden name, but obviously not as Miss or Mrs and I wasn't keen on Ms. It irritates the hell out of me that women STILL have an option to declare whether or not they're married. Will read back all the posts in a while. Right, BBC1....

I am a mrs, but i tacked my dhs surname on to mine and thus double barrelled. Its a bit annoying, because over the phone etc I would say firstname purple-duck,taking care to spell it, and they would say "thank you Mrs Duck (husbands surname!!!) ARGH!!!! I didn't take his name because it sounds boring as hell with my already boring as hell firstname. I didn't want to keep mine because I wanted a change, and i really like the idea of having my own name!!!

I filled in a form the other day and there was no option for 'Mrs'. Perhaps it is too old fashioned or something but I quite like it. I can't say it occupied my thoughts for more than five seconds though.

Ms. Will answer to Mrs if need be, but Ms for choice. Oh the hilarious convos with people "my husband's name is [tra la la] but my name is [fee fi fo]."

Mrs DP to old-fasioned bits of family, but Dr thelady to the rest, and the world in general. Will have to think how to deal with schools etc....

I think that the article is a bit outdated really, I guess to me it feels like it is fighting a battle that has mostly been won. I work for the NHS which doesn't use titles and hasn't for years (unless you are a doctor or a surgeon in which case it's very important ). I don't find it particularly matters to me what I tick in the title box, (I am a Mrs) but I do think Ms sounds ugly. The only time I use Mrs is when I can't be bothered to spell my first name. Otherwise I introduce myself to most people using my first name only, or if I need to be formal, both names. After all my maiden name is my father's, and my married name my husband's - really what's the difference?