*warning. Distressing* Mum leaves 21 month old in car

[Polymamas]

article here, it is very hard to read

I know this has happened before but what I don't understand is how she got in the car at lunchtime, with her DD still in the carseat, drove to a place for lunch, got back in the car and drove back to work without noticing her daughter.

If she didn't go to her car all day then I can see how it could happen. But how could you get in a car, out again, twice and not see your child?

It's so sad :(

I agree. I've read so many of these stories but I cannot get past the fact that she drove the car at lunchtime.

I just can't get my head around it either.

What a horrendous and tragic story. Its easy to blame the mother but she must have been going through something extreme in her life to forget her baby in the car.

I bet she can’t either.

What a horrific thing to happen to the poor child. Her mother and family will never recover.

I don't doubt people do forget Thor babies completely tragic accidents. But it's the lunchtime drive I don't get. Did she not make any noise? Did mum have blacked out windows? How did she not see her when she approached the car?

What was different at the end of the day that made her notice her that didn't happen at lunch time?

I'm not throwing blame at her. It's just so very hard to imagine getting in a car twice and not seeing a child, a 21 month old too, sat there.

We will never know op. The mother may never know herself. We dont know what was on her mind at the time. The coffee shop and drive could have been on autopilot. The baby may have been sound asleep not making a noise. That mother and father will never recover. I wouldnt be suprised if she ends her own life sadly.

I didnt mean you were blaming her i mean people in general will be blaming her. I dont for a minute believe it was intentional on her part. That poor baby.

:(

She sounds utterly distraught. I think so too.

Who could live with that guilt.

A real tragedy all round.

I just don't buy it. I have a child of the same age and I don't believe that you can just forget they are there. And honestly, why does this seem to happen so regularly in the USA and so rarely elsewhere? Maybe the mother has serious MH problems and needs help but I don't believe that it happened how she says it did.

Bella sorry wasn't aimed at you. I just didn't want my lack of understanding of how it came to be construed as finger pointing.

It's a thing. There's a pulitzer winning article about it and research.

That's awful. Everything about it. Just awful.

Research has been done on the circumstances in which parents forget their babies are in their cars. It's not about neglect, and the scary thing is that it could happen to pretty much anyone if those circumstances arise.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna777076#ampshare=www.nbcnews.com/storyline/hot-cars-and-kids/hot-car-deaths-scientists-detail-why-parents-forget-their-children-n777076" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna777076#ampshare=www.nbcnews.com/storyline/hot-cars-and-kids/hot-car-deaths-scientists-detail-why-parents-forget-their-children-n777076

I think because it’s in a different country and we have such scant details it’s really hard to make those judgements. The reporting is shoddy and distant and no effort has really been made to get an accurate story.

It is absolutely awful. Truly horrible. I agree with Noeuf. Gene Weingarten (sp) wrote a piece about it.

I think when it happens, it is often linked to the child being with the parent who doesn’t usually drop off to day care. As in this case. It’s why I think it’s really important for childcare facilities to chase down no-shows. I read of one case where the father’s car alarm went off and he beeped it off again from his office window. We’re such creatures of habit. Poor woman.

This is just so tragic. That poor family. My heart goes out to all involved.

This Wapo article is essential reading for anyone to understand why it happens (and incidentally cases rose actually with the requirement to turn car seats rear facing. Was pretty rare before).

Powerful (and tragic) read: www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html

I understand forgetting.

I do

But ibmn THIS case I fail to see how she could go back to the car, get in, drive somewhere, get out, get back in, drive to work again, get out all without noticing a child who is almost 2 months old in the car.

That's the part that makes no sense to me.

2 years old*

I can understand how someone could perhaps forget a sleeping baby, if they were exhausted or didn't normally do the drop off etc. But a 21 month old...how? They are normally chatty live wires! Unlikely they were napping first thing in the morning surely. Plus there's how she was missed when the mum went back to the car at lunchtime. Very tragic and no judgement but the story doesn't really add up.

Amazing no one else using the car park that day spotted her either. Awful

If I am nipping out for lunch and approaching from the side of the passenger side of car theb walked round the front I wouldn't get a clear view of car seat. Maybe it's rear facing? Maybe she was checking her phone and not her most observant.

If the child had overheated they would be sleepy/unconscious so wouldn't male a noise.

Tragic story. The mum will never get over it. The suggestion it isn't a complete accident is not helpful.

I don't think speculating on here is necessary. The mum will be plagued with horrifying guilt for the rest of her life. There is no suggestion in that article that it was deliberate. Just a tragic mistake. What a nightmarish situation for all involved, I hope she can eventually find a little bit of happiness or peace.