In England the McCanns would be arrested

[LostPuppy]

Off the bat, I of course hope with all my heart that Madeleine is returned safely

But her "parents" are a disgrace. They left Madeleine and two-year-old twins Sean and Amelie sleeping in the apartment ON THEIR OWN. They had taken turns to return from the restaurant to check on their children.

Now hang on! In this country that is illegal, for very good reason.

Even if they 'checked on them' every five minutes that's plenty of time for one of the kids to wake up and try to go to the toilet and crack it's head open slipping on the bathroom floor, or something equally disastrous. They'd never hear the screaming from a bloody restaurant down the road!

Obviously it's unlikely, but I just cant comprehend the mentality of leaving three children under 3 alone on their own, ever, let alone at night in a foreign country!

I might even agree with you toughdaddy, but this is a public forum and mirrors real life in that people will actively discuss current events. Not with a view to hurting people's feelings but to enabling debate and also addressing their own personal feelings about their relationship with their children and parenting style, what with it being a parenting site and all....

I personally feel dreadful for the Mccanns as we all do, nobody I think, is gleefully thinking 'you got what you deserved' However, my own feelings are of fury really, for Madeleine - for whatever she has gone through.

Oooh these double-edged posts shakes head in dismay

"my heart goes out to the poor parents...BUT what they've done is disgusting...and I would never do it...and it's illegal...and it's shameful...and how could they and blah blah blah..."

It's shameful, really. You OUGHT to be ashamed.

and how often does mumsnet come up on google. loads! even if they didnt know any mners they would only have to type in madeleines name and they would see all these horrible things people are saying. and if it does turn out the worst has happened which i really hope it hasn't, how will they feel looking back on threads like this?

At 3 or 4 years old my DCs could of in theory opened the lock on the door but could never have moved the considerable weight of a hotel room (fire standard) door.

They just would not have been able to move that kind of weight.

nappyaddict - i dont think we've said anything that they havent already thought themselves

and im certainly not not going to speak my mind just in case they decide to google MN!!

Don't think you should use the excuse of "there are other nasty people making worse comments". Why go for the lowest common denominator? There are lots more dignified, sympathetic people with the decency not to post these low thougts. That is just an excuse to pile in and be nasty. Join the pack of unkind bullies at school. .

Message withdrawn

also when parents are discussing this in real life they may not admit to having left their child or that they might have done it in the future.

I think that rather than get out-raged about those that are posting judgemental comments about the family involved, maybe we could just stick to balancing them out with more reasoned opinions. That might keep the temperature down and might, just might lead to people accepting that there is no absolute measure of risk as parents!

I disagree with Toughdaddy. I agree with Aimsium and Binklenadflip. We have ever right to discuss this issue. Very little of what has been posted, has been in any way offensive.

And, belgianbun - I think I am right. In any case, we cannot go through life muted of opinions - this is a discussion board.

TDB ? well at almost 4 (at the time) my DS could certainly open the room door in the hotel we stayed at in Cyprus ? My DSIS was in the next room and he often opened the door to her when she called.

Are you saying that if I don't agree that they should have left children alone I am not aloud to pity them for what has happened to their family?

I doesn't have to be one or the other and again I am as entitled to say what I feel as everone else is

ValnBen - I suppose it does depend on the child and whether the doors are fire doors. Even I struggle to open some heavy hotel doors and I am no light-weight

There are probably thousands of website set-up with the sole intention of expressing support for the Mccanns and I suspect their energies would be directed at accessing these sites (if they are looking at any at all at this time) as opposed to the all-encompassing MN.

What exactly IS the debate though? It's been going on all evening and I for one am no clearer as to what people are actually debating? it seems to me that those who are most vocal on this thread are simply reiterating in so many different ways the fact that they wouldn't have left their child alone in a hotel room, and that they don;t think the McCanns should have either.

Ok...lovely story. Not news, though. In other words, how many ways can you say the same thing? And what the frig has it got to do with freedom of speech and the right to express yourself? You have all been heard loud and clear. You would never have put your child in such a position. Anything else to add?

Am I wrong in thinking MW resorts are sort of luxury family hotels then? I thought they were where posh people with kdis went on holiday. I imagined the family being lured into a false sense of security because of the resort and because the tapas bar was really not far from their apartment.

Whatever, it is not their fault that a nutter chanced upon their family The arguement that the parents were to blame does not sit comfortably with me.

No, I think that just about covers it, Loveangel

TDB ? agreed, and that?s my view on ?acceptable risk? in this kind of situation.
The theory was tested (DS could open the door) so any thoughts of leaving him sleeping in the room whilst I was even just downstairs (3 floors away) was not an acceptable risk in my opinion. I would rather chance the odd tut and disgruntled huff and puff from Yummy mummy, or not go out at all, than have him wake and leave the room looking for me and finding something quite very different!

Have you, LoveAngel?

I have nothing more to add as I think it has all been covered but last point again.

Just because I wouldn't leave my DD and think they made a bad decision I do not forfeit the right to have feelings of pity and sorrow for the family.

In the spirit of debate, can I just clarify..is there any actual evidence that Madeleine was abducted as yet?

I was surprised to see how this resort is laid out and how the apartment was situated in relation to the tapas bar, roads, pool, different levels etc.....it doesn't look very suited to families

i don't remember who said it but on a different thread someone had actually spoken to sara payne who did say she had seen things on the internet about her daughter and thins about her as a parent and that it was horrible.

do you not think her parents will be beating themselves up over all this and will not have gone over and over what we are all saying?