In England the McCanns would be arrested

[LostPuppy]

Off the bat, I of course hope with all my heart that Madeleine is returned safely

But her "parents" are a disgrace. They left Madeleine and two-year-old twins Sean and Amelie sleeping in the apartment ON THEIR OWN. They had taken turns to return from the restaurant to check on their children.

Now hang on! In this country that is illegal, for very good reason.

Even if they 'checked on them' every five minutes that's plenty of time for one of the kids to wake up and try to go to the toilet and crack it's head open slipping on the bathroom floor, or something equally disastrous. They'd never hear the screaming from a bloody restaurant down the road!

Obviously it's unlikely, but I just cant comprehend the mentality of leaving three children under 3 alone on their own, ever, let alone at night in a foreign country!

here here @montmerency

i once left ds2 in his cot asleep while i raced to get ds1 form nursery

felt terrible
it took abot 5 mins btu thats notthe case

it hink when you are abroda youare rather stupidly more casual

Two seconds? Not seriously?

The loo?

Leaving them in their bedroom at night while you are downstairs?

If you thought about everything that COULD happen you'd never leave the house. And even then there are risks. I've left my three (5,3,1) in the house while I pop to the post box which is 30 seconds round the corner. Obviously I wait until ds2 is in his cot and the other 2 are engrossed in tv or something, but I do leave them. I suppose in that time something hideous could happen, but I am reminded of an awful thing that happened to someone I knew from toddler group - the little boy lived with his dad, his mum died about a year previously, and his dad was murdered. They were in the house 3 days. Which goes to prove that nothing is safe. And that boy was on his own for 3 days at the age of 3 or 4. Blame just isn't appropriate.

Dh and I were discussing this the other fay, now I accept ds's HFA means he'snot as able as other kids, but even based on the more responsible kids in his class (year 2)- at that age, Dh and I were ahringa round the lanes on our bikes with a picnic for lunch, and not a mobile in sight either!

Now I accept the roads are busier now (biut I'm not that old), but even in a year when ds2 is this age and hugely sensible (in a small boy sorta way) I'd be reluctant to let him, for example, wait outside a shop (and we live in a quiet place known as yummymummycentral)

I have a constant reminder of this sort of thing, via a relative of mine through marriage who lives in the USA. Some years ago, her daughter was abducted from their home in a safe, middle class neighbourhood. The guy climbed up the drainpipe, opened her bedroom window and took her while her mother slept. Her mum had taken sleeping pills that night, and that fact was used by some people (not unlike some of the posters here) to villify her. If she hadn't been 'off her face' blah b;ah etc ect she might have heard the man come in and her daughter wouldn't have been raped and murdered.

I just think hindsight is 20/20 vision, and judging people for judgements that turned out to be bad but were made in good faith doesn't help at all. You can think 'that would never happen to me, because I would never put my child in that sotuation', and that's great and maybe its true. But these things happen - rarely, but they do happen, and more often than not, it has nothing to do with how well the child was cared for by its parents.

Lovemyangel thats , poor child and poor woman to go on to be blamed

Dh wouldn't wake for a truck hitting the house, tbh. I wake at th slightest thing so its OK, but I wouldn't not leave my dalring kindly Dh alone at night with the kids, I would have absolute faith in him to parent them safely

My initial reaction upon hearing about Madeleine's abduction was one of absolute shock that anyone would leave their 3 young children unattended at night, regardless of how safe the complex was/is. IMO, once you have children your freedom is hugely curbed and holidays are not about going out for meals at night on your own but about putting your children first.

I feel huge huge sadness for the poor McCanns who will live with their decision to leave their children that fateful night (although I have read in the paper that they left them every night).

It makes me laugh that there are so many sanctimonious posters on here telling the OP, Q and Mumpbump to Eff off and 'delete the tread' yet on a thread about a month ago questioning whether you would leave you child in it's pram outside a shop all the same sanctimonious people were up in arms that anyone would ever consider doing such a thing....

MN is about expressing opinion and debate, not about ganging up on people that happen to express a different opinion on a very emotive subject.

The OP could have been written in a more sensitive manner I agree but what's the point in being so abusive towards the OP????

It's a hideous story, I know@Peachy. At the time (this was in the 90s) it was a huge 'story' in the USA, like the whole Maddie thing is now in the UK. The search for the little girl was a long one and there was the same outpouring of grief and support from the public, mixed with a public 'debate' on the mother, the whole family actually, on child safety and parental responsbility and all the rest of it...didn't change anything though.

Sorry, Wilkiie, but the OP lost all credibility for me the moment she/he used the term 'parents' in inverted commas to describe the McCanns. Despicable.

Call me santimonious if you will, but I find that description of them beyond bad taste.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

SHUT UP!

this has been done to death. can we not just leave it alone now. who cares if you would or would not leave your child alone in a hotel room/apartment.

fact of the matter is they did nothing wrong yet a little girl is missing cos of someone who did do something very very wrong.

ps my first comment was out of pure frustration. why start a thread about this when it has been discussed over and over again. are you just asking for a fight? i don't normally come into threads shouting my mouth off but i am well and truly getting very pissed off with the amount of bashing this family are getting.

if madeleines mum or dad had been a well known MNer we would all be offering our support and feeling truly awful, not slating them and making them feel a hundred percent worse.

this is obviously an emotive subject and god forbid this nightmare should ever happen to any of us BUT the way the media has clung on to it, the yellow ribbons, the proposed "maddie" day - come on......

Lots of children go missing all the time - and each missing child brings sadness, torture and grief for each of their families.

I am not slating the parents

they are in a living hell

I am slating the media

Message withdrawn

made similar point to LoveAngel - the sarcastic use of commas around parents in the original post is nasty also calling the parents a "disgrace" also uncalled for

OP lacks any compassion or empathy - emotive language.judgemental

the parents must undoutedly be mulling over all the what ifs/should have/could have/what have we done.

imo, now is not the time for for sticking in the boot from a bunch of anonymous strangers with PCs and opinions (cos essentially thats what we are)

threads of support are so kind and again imo wholly appropriate

Just pray she's still with us, the parents are going through enough hell, don't give them any more grieve, please

Aimsmum, have you considered the fact that the reason madeleine's case is all over the papers and the reason that the family is getting so much attention/support is because they are working extremely hard on this campaign to ensure she stays in the news. This hasnt just happened, people are working hard.

Message withdrawn

Dont want to blame anybody, the only person I really care about is poor madeline, but...

out of interest does anybody know if it is illegal to leave young children on their own. I have never left mine and always presumed that it was. Some people on here seem to think it is, others not.

i think that if she had been found after a few days the matter of her having been left alone would have been neither here nor there. But the fact is she is still missing, so this fact is still in everyone's minds. She neednt have been put in that situation.

And before you all pounce on me saying there are lots of situations we put our kids in that we need not - i know that.

But their decision has had disastrous consequences. I know they know that only too well.

Why people cannot discuss this point on here baffles me.

The fact is if she was not left on her own then she would still be with her parents.

Ainsmum - i agree with you.

So it would seem that if you've got the right job, face and enough pounds in the bank then if your kid goes missing you've got more chance of the media and public gettomg behind you and setting up campaigns etc.

Sad.

I wonder, if people would be so nice about the McCAnns if the lil girl maybe had woken up and say tried to find her parents and somethng happened to her that way....rather then her being abducted?
I mean, it's been said in this thread before, on mumsnet a lot of people are up in arms when someone mentions they leave their child in a car whilest nipping into a shop, etc....but then, the same people seem to be fine about parents leaving 3 young children in a room on their own, in a larger then a normal home complex....to have Dinner...I mean, clearly commonsense would tell you that that isn't a bright idea, and that is even wiht the abduction scenario completely out of the occasion here.
Of course the parents are the ones that will have to live with their own guilt and the consequences of their own actions for the rest of their lifes, little Madeleine is paying for it right now...and I agree, that I would class the actions of the parents as neglect.
Sorry, fi it doesn't sit well....!
Obviously I truely hope that the little girl will be found unharmed asap and will be returned home. And I don't beleive that the Parents or the little girl deserve this to happen to them ( I mean, one wouldn't wish it on ones worst enemy)...!
In short...Expat really said it well!

This thread just saddens me, it really does.

Aimsmum I raised that point the other day, too...it baffles me why this case receives so much coverage whilest others are clearly not covered at all....

what saddens ME is that unless you agree with the pack then your views are not welcome on here.