What do you tell your children about Madeleine?

[GiantSquirrelSpotter]

This isn't aiming to be one of those gruesome speculative threads, but in the car this AM my DS(8) said to DD (5) "they're talking about that Madeleine girl, they're not going to find her, she's gone" and DD said "no, she's going to go back to her mummy"

They then went on to discuss something else, but I wondered what I would tell them if they ask me about this. How do you talk about this without scaring them? They've obviously been discussing this at school, or picked up from radio/ newspapers. I just wonder what to tell them.

Just watched a report on news 24 with ds (4). I just told him that she'd gone missing and has been lost for a week. I said its her birthday tommorow. etc etc. Then we had a chat about staying where mummy can see him and not running off etc.

I think you have to be honest and dsay you don't know if she'll be found but your hoping that she will be. The reassure them that this sort of thing is incredibly rare and they shouldn't worry about it.

I adopt the same policy that I do towards all difficult questions (e.g. about sex or whatever); i.e. tell the truth, but only tell them what they specifically ask about and don't elaborate.

My dd1 has the same name and so has picked up on the story. She has asked if she has been found yet, and I just say 'No, not yet, but lots of people are looking for her and hopefully they will find her soon'. Dd1 is 7 (today!) btw.

My dd is 5 and doesn't watch the news, therefore is not aware of Madeleine's disappearance.

If she asks I shall tell her the truth. That Madeleine was taken from her mammy & daddy though goodness knows how many nights she will wake up thinking someone is going to take her from hers.

For now I will just keep things the way they are, she is 5, she doesn't need to be watching the news & getting worried.

Mine don't read the papers and haven't mentioned it. Nobody at the school gate has said a word to me so perhaps classmates don't know either. I'd answer questions as truthfully and unscaremongery as possible.

We've discussed it, in context. On the local news some git attempted two ick up 2 girls in our COunty (Gwent) yesterday, so I doubly impressing safety on them atm (even though tehy're boys and it sounds as if this one wants a girl).

And then we did the this is why you mustnt run where Mummy cant see you (DS1 bolts a lot), I hope it sank in- bet it didnt.

nothing - she is too young to be watching the news and doesn't ready newspapers yet
she is 5

I would tell the truth. My dd age 3 was watching to and I told her what happened.

Too young at 3...she doesn't need to be concerned with this..

we are all entitled to our opinions.

mine are 9 and 6 and I tell them the truth in whats happening

don't know what I'd tell them if the outcome isn't as positive as we all want it to be

I haven't told dd anything, and I don't watch the news while she's around anyway because she's too young to see and hear most of it.

None of the other children at school seem to be talking about it, but if dd does found out from somewhere, I guess I'll just tell her the basic facts - say that yes, she has been taken, but the police are trying very hard to find her so she can go back to her family. I'd also want to make sure that she knew that this kind of thing is very, very rare and that it's not going to happen to her.

But I sincerely hope that no-one does tell her. She's not 6 yet, she doesn't need to know.

Perhaps sandcastles meant her own dd was too youg, at 3 Hills.

No-one said anything about others not being allowed an opinion

Can I just ask you to tell your children to stay where they can see you.

A child cannot put themselves in another's position until they're probably about 6 or older, so they don't know how to make sure that you can see them. But you know that if they can see you, you can see them.

dd1+" havent asked yet

Omg I've learned to turn the news off if dc are around now.

Dd picked up on the Abigail Witchels (sp) story when it came on the radio in the car once and was quite perplexed about the whole thing (who wouldn't be?)

The news is full of misery and despair - I can hardly bear it myself these days

absolutely nothing they haven't mentioned it

pretty candles, I'm sure we all do our best to make sure our children are safe at all times.

I would say DS1 at 7 is old enough to be told a little, and what DS1 knows ds2 (6)will find out so is better from me

guess the op depends on the age of your individual kids

Do you really think I'm criticising?

as on some other thread, someone mentioned if they ask, it is a good time to discuss 'stanger danger'.

This is something I have found on net. You can, view as html or download and print out.
In my opinion it has some good avdvice that you might be interested in (www.suffolk.lib.ny.us)

opens pdf file
or view as html

PC I read it as needing to remember that kids empathy / literal understanding is different.

fireflyfairy2, yes I did....thank you.

Hillls, we posted at the same time, I didn't see your post until after. My dd is too young to be concerned with this. She hates being out of my sight at the mo, she the last thing my dd needs is to know people take children from their parents.

But I do agree that if she found out about it, I would tell her truth, but I will make sure she doesn't see anything that could upset her.