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Original poster

I am so sick of all the rubber-necking that has been going on with regard to a recent and tragic news topic.

475 replies

Bubble99 · 09/05/2007 21:27

And all under the guise of 'concerned fellow-parent/s'

I met a mother at school today (never spoken to her before) who approached me and said ..'Have you heard about? What do you think about?' and the freak was almost smiling. It's as if this nightmare has become entertainment for some people.

There is a voyeuristic, collective sickness going on , safe under the umbrella of 'concerned parents.'

Yuk.

OP posts:
LaBoheme · 13/05/2007 15:12

MrsMar you have raised some really interesting points; as someone who too has worked in the Media I know that the foregrounding of emotion when it comes to abductions and kidnappings is essential to both capture the attention of the general public and to appeal to the last drop of humanty anyone involved in the abduction may have. Which I believe can only be a positive thing as it will impress upon us and jog memories/get relevant people to think about what they may have seen and information they can give.
I have said many times on these threads that I feel deep empathy for the Mccanns, I think about Madeliene every day, I have shed a tear over this and many other issues which have been brought to my attention throughout my life (including the plight of exploited people all over the world) and I do not feel in fear of my mental health (which was ludicrusly suggested by someone a few days ago). I am very lucky to be able to put myself in the shoes of others and to see things from other persectives, this is a big part of who I am and what I believe makes the world go around. If we stop "feeling", surely then we stop caring?

Monkeytrousers · 13/05/2007 22:51

re the op, I think that's a bit harsh Bubble. I don't like it either, but I wouldn't call anyone a freak

Quattrocento · 13/05/2007 23:18

I think the reason for the media-fest is that this story plays on atavistic fears of every parent.

We are all frightened of losing our children. Yes there is an element of rubbernecking and ghoulish "ooh isn't it awful..." But mainly it strikes a chord because we are frightened for our children.

Monkeytrousers · 14/05/2007 17:18

Yes, and they expoit that, either switch on or keep tuned for "more developments" - grim

Mojomummy · 14/05/2007 19:11

what a horrible thread & OP.

My heart hurts for that little girl - I don't know her, but she is the same age as my DD1 - it brings it all home.

Yes I do think they are fools leaving them - what where they thinking ? But they don't need judging because they've got to live with this for the rest of their lives.

If this ever happened to me, I'd be glad everyone was talking about it & therefore aware that a small child had been taken. Someone has to know something & hopefully they will find her, prompted by the rewards on offer.

Do you really think the woman was gleeful ? That's just a horrible thing to say, no point at all. Big deal if she'd never spoken to you before, get over yourself.

Rhubarb, people like you make a difference, unlike some of the heartless misers on here...

quietmouse · 14/05/2007 19:29

I agree Mojo, some people are sick. I have been shocked that these people are apparently mothers [hmm[

quietmouse · 14/05/2007 19:29
Hmm
Original poster
Bubble99 · 14/05/2007 20:02

MT. Since my OP I've had two more unsolicited, one-way conversations of the..

'Ooh! Isn't it awful?' kind.

Followed by again, unsolicited, horrible conjecture about what may or may not be happening to this child.

I don't think the term 'freak' is too strong here.

OP posts:
looneytune · 14/05/2007 20:05

I totally agree with you there Mojo!!! And, as for the OP, I just wanted to say my sister suffers with a nervous smirk with subjects of a sensitive nature etc - she certainly ISN'T smiling!!! I just don't get the people who can't understand why this has touched so many people!?!

looneytune · 14/05/2007 20:06

You HONESTLY think people are FREAKS for caring?

NomDePlume · 14/05/2007 20:06

i agree with bubble. A lot of this public outpouring is mawkish rubbernecking.

quietmouse · 14/05/2007 20:07

I would use the word 'freak' more to describe those people who are so indifferent to a family and a child's suffering that they feel the need to put down others and their feelings tbh....

looneytune · 14/05/2007 20:08

Yep, agree with you there - quietmouse that is!!!

Original poster
Bubble99 · 14/05/2007 20:11

I don't consider randomly discussing details of potential child abuse or 'snatching to order for paedophile rings,' when I've gone to pick my children up from school/buy some bread to be 'caring.'

Sorry.

OP posts:
quietmouse · 14/05/2007 20:15

some people feel the need to talk about this case.

If you don't, then fine.

But I actually find that more alarming tbh.

looneytune · 14/05/2007 20:18

Quietmouse, you took the words I was going to use. Some people NEED to talk about it, it's how they cope with how horrible things can be in this world!!

Rantum · 14/05/2007 20:19

I care about a lot of issues in the world and furthermore, unlike alot of the people blowing hot air about what causes are just and those that are not, I have actively devoted time in my life to issues regarding children's rights around the globe.

Does that mean that I shouldn't give a f**ck when something happens to an individual from the society that I actually live in most of the time? I don't think so.

I don't know Madeleine McCann or her family, neither do I personally know many of the children in program that I campaign for around the world. In BOTH circumstances I think it is equally valid to care.

That is not to say that I know what anyone is going through, but I wouldn't care about ANYTHING if I did not have empathy for humanity in general.

When something horrible happens in the news it affects me (not as much as it affects the people it is happening to - FGS that would be INSANE), so sue me.

kkgirl · 14/05/2007 20:20

Latest news is that they are searching a Villa nearby of a British Man who was involved in translating etc early on.
Praying that they find Maddie alive and well

Original poster
Bubble99 · 14/05/2007 20:20

I do feel the need to check the news regularly, QM.

Do I still alarm you?

I don't feel the need to email virtual strangers to talk about it (see earlier poster) or talk in graphic detail with a stranger on a check-out.

Does that mean I don't care?

OP posts:
quietmouse · 14/05/2007 20:31

your attitude alarms me, yes.

The fact that you (and other posters) feel you have the right to tell others how to think and feel and then insult them with name calling is something I find quite odd.

But it is nice to know you care and that you do check the news, anyway

Original poster
Bubble99 · 14/05/2007 20:36

What's with the QM?

Do you really think that there is a person in the country (and elsewhere) who isn't affected by this?

OP posts:
FairyMum · 14/05/2007 20:40

It's not about right or wrong feelings, but I do feel its about peoples responses to the media coverage going on at the moment. Personally, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am not uncomfortable about the coverage. I do understand why its important to keep the story in the news. I am, however, uncomfortable about the way it is covered. I find it intrusive and I think that its a very sad world we live in where only this way of covering a terribly sad news story can make people care in this way. I think its something very tabloid about it.

Monkeytrousers · 15/05/2007 09:35

Why to people rubber neck though? You might not like it, but people are simultaneously horrified and drawn to tragedy and drama, life and death. It's the human condition. Nothing freakish about it.

I see where Mp is coming from though. If someone has a touch of PND or depression, it something like this can become a compulsion, an obsession; and that isn't healthy. But nobody is a freak.

wannaBeWhateverIWannaBe · 15/05/2007 10:36

I don?t think all this discussion has anything to do with empathy tbh. I?m not saying that people don?t feel deeply about this case, but I think that the vast amount of media coverage plays a huge part in how much people discuss it, and how many times it gets brought to the fore, thus reinforcing peoples? feelings of despair for the family.

On the same day as Madeleine disappeared, two young children were found dead in a house in London, but that was only reported briefly on the news, and there certainly isn?t any discussion about that on here, and no-one seems to feel the sadness about those two children, whose lives are no less significant than Madeleine?s, and IMO that has a lot to do with the amount of media coverage they received compared to Madeleine. If the stories had been reversed, and the two children in London had been all over the papers for the past 10 days, and Madeleine had got a one liner, I think that people would be discussing those two children and not Madeleine.

I also think that the media play a huge part in how these stories are perceived by the public. I think that right now the mccanns have a huge amount of support from the media, but I think that if it transpires that Madeleine wandered out of the apartment and was randomly snatched as has been speculated by some, then the media will turn on the parents, and the argument of whether it is right or wrong to leave a child will be very much more debated.

wartybosoms · 15/05/2007 10:44

I must be odd then.

I don't feel the need to check news bulletins on a regular basis.

This is a very sad situation but as wannabe very eloquently sets out, terrible things are happening to children every day around the world and I simply don't have the energy to take on all that sadness.

I'll hear eventually that Madeleine has been either found or that the investigation is being scaled down and news reports will move on to the next big story.