I am so sick of all the rubber-necking that has been going on with regard to a recent and tragic news topic.

[Bubble99]

And all under the guise of 'concerned fellow-parent/s'

I met a mother at school today (never spoken to her before) who approached me and said ..'Have you heard about? What do you think about?' and the freak was almost smiling. It's as if this nightmare has become entertainment for some people.

There is a voyeuristic, collective sickness going on , safe under the umbrella of 'concerned parents.'

Yuk.

agree with you rabble.

I do agree with a lot of what has been said on this thread. however, 95% of crime like this is solved by the public (according to a criminologist on BBC). The only way to get the public involved is to let them know something is happening. What is the harm is carrying on what the McCann family starting in forwarding on a few emails to people in other countries. It is what they ahve asked people to do. I don't know why everyone is getting so upset about it.

twofalls. I'm not geting upset about the appeals for info. Why on earth would I?

What I don't understand are the 'Is There Any News?' threads.

If you have mnet, you have internet, no?

News updates are on BBBC News online.

I've seen loads of

followed by horrible, speculative and, TBH, sick posts. All under the banner of 'I am really affected' by this case..

Links to websites showing reports of mothers whose children have been abducted to be exposed to god-knows-what.

The people who post on these threads should at least be honest and post under the title..

'I know that I can get regular news updates online, but I'd rather post here, under the pretence of wanting news, to discuss this case with some kind of weird enthusiasm.'

IMHO.

expat, the police are thinking Peter Tobin might have had something to do with the girl who went missing from Bathgate all those years ago, Vicky Hamilton. Her mother died without ever knowing what happened.

Ben Needham's mum has been interviewed a few times and I find that more upsetting. She has had to live with what Madeleine's mum is going through for 16 YEARS.

Bubble, I completely agree with you. I said the same thing a few nights ago so I completely understand where you are coming from.

oops, I was just trying to explain to some posters who don't agree with it why it might be a good thing to do.

Bubble99 - I agree with you too. I have not even opened many of the threads on the subject but it was put in perspective when I remembered that at least 600,000 Iraqis lost their lives as a consequence of the recent war.

Compare the amount of attention all those bereaved families have recieved to the McCanns (who I feel nothing but sympathy for btw).

Tragedies happen every day. There is not a lot we can do to help the McCanns, but there are plenty of abused children closer to home that all this energy could be directed to helping.

Right, so unless you show equal compassion for everyone in the world then you shouldn't have any feelings about anyone?
I don't think anything puts this horrible event 'in perspective'. I think that is an extraordinary thing to say. Because other terrible things happen does not make this particular thing less awful.
Are the people who go to Auschwitz and cry over the piles of tiny shoes just 'hijacking' someone else's tragedy? Should we just forget about it, after all, plenty of other people have died in history. Let's get it 'in perspective' eh?
And why should people worry about abused children at home? After all, we have already established that is it rubbernecking and hijacking and gloating to even give someone else's suffering a second thought.

Absolutely upwind.

I agree with you entirely and posted about this a couple of days back.

I maintain that of course it is 'normal' to feel sympathy for this family but NOT to the extent that our day to day lives are affected. Of course we all have the right to respond differently to different things in the news. However, it seems that the majority of people who have posted on here who I agree with are those who can see the world's news in broader terms and are able to view this abduction with a sense of perspective with regards to the terrible atrocities that go on in the world every day. Of course the family and friends cannot be expected to do such a thing - it would be impossible and abnormal - but as people who do not know the family and never will I cannot see why their lives are so utterly and completely affected.

The media are largely responsible for people's 'ownership' of this case. News reports are littered with particular words and images that fuel emotions. The use of 'we' and 'our' by reporters - 'we are anxiously waiting for news', 'our hopes were dashed yesterday', etc, etc - its almost as though the press feel that they are riding the rollercoaster too and they absolutely are not. I've heard people in shops and the workplace saying 'I know how the family feels because 10 years ago I went on holiday to Portugal' or something else equally unrelated and ridiculous.

The absolute tragedy is that we become all encompassed by these stories and do very little closer to home for children who are abused and neglected and even less for children in third world countries.

If the press chose to give unrelenting coverage of these issues, then perhaps we would.

I cried at Auschwitz and also in Viet Nam as I looked at the effects of agent orange and western brutality - that is normal.

And it is normal to feel sympathy for the McCanns. I really hope that little girl is found alive and well.

But tragedies do happen all the time and I wish we could direct our energy and passion to the ones we can help. Instead of maudlin speculation about the fate of one we can't.

Excellent article \link{http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml?xml=/opinion/2007/05/12/do1202.xml{here} btw

aloha

When I say to view this abduction (don't think that 'event' is at all appropriate) with perspective, its not to say that I do not view it with any sympathy or emotion. Its simply to say that against the context of great pain and suffering in this world, I do not view it as the greatest tragedy ever which the press is implying.

In fact, I would argue that my ability to see and respond to the world's atrocities (rather than one case) is a sign of being truly emphatic. For instance, at times of celebration in our country I frequently spare a thought for starving children, children who are sex slaves, children who have no place to live, etc and have taken some practical action to help. In the same way, I spare a thought for the McCanns family and, if I thought I could make a genuine difference in practical terms, would do so.

I also know many people who have gone to Auschwitz and that was because relatives of theirs died there. They actually KNEW and loved the people who were murdered. The vast majority of people on here do not know and love this poor girl.

Everyone can feel how they want to about this but it is important to see that for many people, their feelings emerge from the media. I am aware of this and perhaps that is why my sympathies and sadness emcompass all manner of people and situations. I do not feel it necessary to retain my emotions purely for one story which the press is choosing to hype.

There have been 2 young children who have gone missing in my part of the country in the last 7 years who recieved far less coverage that the McCanns. Why?

I actually don't think "this public outpouring of grief" would bother the McCanns as much as people think - I think that they probably feel grateful for anything that keeps these events in the public eye. When I saw her at the prayer vigil on the news Kate McCann looked so near collapse - at one point she just looked at the camera as if she didn't know what it was and I couldn't understand how she wasn't screaming at them to leave her alone and then I thought that, hard as it must be, she was doing it for her daughter - so that nobody forgets about her.

If it were me (and I thank God that it isn't) then I would want it all kept in the headlines for as long as possible,until she was found.

I'm also not ashamed to say that I have been holding my children just a little tighter since this all happened.

i think the article is spot on too

Seems to me that some people are incredibly bossy about what other people 'ought' to feel, and think themselves marvellously superior because they have just the right amount of feeling, but not too much

As for the pontificating that the child's parents would be upset that other people feel for them and are trying - no matter how possibly fruitlessly - to help, well, I see no evidence of that whatsoever. I think when the family themselves are holding press conferences and asking people to email photographs of their daughter, to suggest it is wrong to do so seems quite presumptious.

I think people are perfectly entitled to their own emotions. It doesn't hurt you if someone feels sad or worried about Madeleine. And you have absolutely no evidence that because people feel concerned about her that they don't care about anyone or anything else. That is preposterous.

Excellent post, Aloha.

youtube

Great post Aloha

I haven't said what everyone 'ought' to do. Of course people can feel what they want and to different extents. I am simply explaining why I feel the way I do and trying to understand why some people are so upset that this is deeply affecting their day to day lives. The point I am making is that the media surely has a huge point in conditioning us - we are all shaped to some extent by what is around us - and for some people, the press coverage has perhaps been a little too much.

I was on holiday last week when the news emerged that Maddie had gone missing (I often miss news stories like this on holiday) - I could see the headlines in the Italian papers but obviously I couldn't read them since I refuse to pay over the odds for an English newspaper abroad although I finally caved in at the airport as I'd run out of reading matter. Tbh as there is little I can do to help track her down, it's probably just as well I couldn't read them. Had I been in Portugal, in that particular resort, I'm sure I'd feel as shocked as everyone else professed to be that such a thing could happen etc. It doesn't make their shock any less real. I don't think it's intentional voyuerism as such and I've been one of doubtless hundreds of parents clicking their teeth when they read about their child-care arrangements (my uncle was snatched years ago as a child but was recovered so perhaps my family have had it drummed into us more about 'stranger danger'). It doesn't alter the facts now, just because I chose to disapprove in retrospect (I also disapprove of my DS and BIL child-care arrangements). FWIW, I think an element of open discussion about how parents can care for their childen would be helpful as a whole for society. After all, we were all children once.

my sister was also snatched actually - my mum left her sleeping in a pram, i think outside the church and she was taken. but luckily my dad found her a few hours later with a mad old lady parishioner trying to feed the two month old with toast. Still terrifying though.

hear hear Aloha

Dear oh dear

Why the judgement? Did you read a view in the 'indie' and decided that was the one for you or do you enjoy being a contrarian.

All this talking down to people as if they were savages.

an interesting first post, kilter.

It's not just a public outpouring of grief though. The papers have nothing new to write about so at the moment its full background information about the parents so we can "get to know them". Most front papers carry pictures of her mum with headlines such as "we feel your grief" and lots of speculation about how near she is to collapsing. This has got nothing to do with feeling grief or wanting to keep the girl in the news. I find it really uncomfortable as I do many of the threads here on MN at the moment. It's not empathy its entertainment.

How can you tell if it's someones first post?

Surely everyone has the right to think and feel whatever they want to don't they?

Everyone is different and unique with different ways of viewing the world,different character traits and psychological make-ups.

I'd venture to suggest that there is no "right", "wrong" or "appropriate" way to react to the Madeline McCann abduction story. If anyone wishes to argue that there is, then I'd like to know who is to be the arbiter of that?

The pseudo intellectual ruling elite on MN I suppose.

Live and let live FFS.