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Original poster

Woman, 9 months pg, told to get off bus because her 2 year old was crying...

94 replies

ELF1981 · 06/03/2007 13:20

I read the article in an open mouthed "oh my Gawd, really" kind of way but what has really shocked me are the readers comments against the article (I know it's in The Sun, but still)
People were suggesting that the woman should have smacked her child, that passengers should not be submitted to crying children and have no right to be on the bus, and that her having to walk a mile+ home was a lesson well taught.

Seriously? Who comments stuff like this?!

On the bus routes here, a crying child is going to be less of a distraction to teenagers swearing and chucking stuff around or a couple having a very public dispute.

Very now. That'll teach me to read the Sun online.

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 06/03/2007 17:20

for her. We live in such an intolerant society.

quietmouse · 06/03/2007 19:17

this is Bournemouth we are talking about.

People there seem to be stuck in a little time warp

maybe pregnant women and pre school children didn't go out at all in their day

Original poster
ELF1981 · 06/03/2007 20:34

Still really peeved off about the comments. I was angry on the womans behalf when I read it, but I'm still seething about the comments.

And yes, I know it's the Sun, and I should know better than to read it, but I had a spare five mins at lunch and didn't want to get too egrossed with Mumsnet!

Bad bad bad society - and I took was in shock about the "shouldnt be out shopping at 9 mths pg" comment - tosser. Bloody wanker whoever wrote that, and I bet they're a virgin.

I'm not very tolerant today am I?! I've just done a 12 hr day at work and I have a horrible ear infection.

OP posts:
Caligula · 07/03/2007 12:00

And we wonder why our kids are the unhappiest in Europe. FGS.

It does nothing to counter any stereotyping of Sun readers, does it, that comments page?

Ripeberry · 07/03/2007 12:50

When i was 8 months pregnant with dd1 i was going into town on the bus to visit a friend i was meeting there.
And these two women got on the bus, giggling and being quite loud (may have been drunk) and they made their way along the bus and the driver pulled off quite sharpish.
One of these women actually fell right into my lap and just lay there giggling to her friend.
She had fallen right on my bump and i was shocked from it and worried about the baby being hurt so i pushed her off me as she was not going to do it herself.
Of course then she gives me a load of abuse and i had to shout back at her that i was pregnant.
Even then she sat at the back of the bus making rude comments ect..
The bus driver and other passengers just carried on ignoring all of it.
Modern society is selfish and cowardly these days.
AB

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 07/03/2007 13:15

I have just spent the weekend in Ireland, and following the UNICEF report noticed just how much more child-tolerant they are a society compared to Britain. We went out to a hotel restaurant on Saturday evening; 16 of us in total including 5 children. There were many families in the restaurant, everybody's children behaved well, not stapled to their chairs but none of them were making a nuisance of themselves (but that's what happens when you include them and don't just demonise them). If a child 'escaped' from it's family and took off running, an unrelated adult would happily help out catching and returning them with a smile and a nice comment. There was a wedding reception in the bar at the same time, and they were the same. Children are part of society, and it pisses me off no end when witless adults (especially in this country) feel entitled to comment on a child's behaviour. I agree that they wouldn't have had much to say had it been a group of abusive teenaged boys - the pg mother and toddler were a much softer target. Gobshites.

Ladymuck · 07/03/2007 13:34

Hmmm, when when one of mine has gone into that full-flung-top-of-lungs scream whilst I'm driving I must confess that I have pulled over and sat it out (and I'm a fairly experienced London driver). A bit of crying is one thing, but it is hard to know quite how loud and how long the tantrum was. I think that the driver could have handled it better, but I honestly don't drive if there is a real fully-fledged unstoppable tantrum going on behind me, and I'm surprised that so many of you do. I'm clearly more of a wuss than most.

OrmIrian · 07/03/2007 14:36

But when it's your child that's screaming it's more of a distraction because you feel guilty and upset too. I can quite happily ignore someone else's child even if the noise levels are horrendous. No-one likes hearing it but eveyone else apart from the parent present can safely ignore it.

KathyMCMLXXII · 07/03/2007 14:38

The bus driver will have been further away from the source of noise, though, and will have had some kind of screen between him and the noise. And it's always more distracting if it's your own child.

I agree that sometimes it's safer to wait it out if you can, but there isn't always somewhere you can stop.

Ladymuck · 07/03/2007 16:08

Have to say that it is just as distracting if it is another child screaming - and I mean full-strength screaming. From the photos those aren't very large buses, but I hadn't seen a reference that the mother was sitting at the back. On our local buses mums don't usually head there as they prefer being nearer the front/doors/buggy space.

I'd be surprised if the bus route didn't have places it could stop. Couldn't be terribly convenient for the passengers.

And I appreciate Wiltshire is probably a lot safer than London, but bus drivers are not trained to ignore screaming. If, as an extreme example, someone was say being stabbed on the bus, they do not simply ignore it.

Just offering an alternative view - if he turned off a crying child then of course his behavior was despicable. However I know one child who literally screamed at full lung capacity for 40 minutes (and then fell asleep!). A nearly 3 year old can be large and loud and make it very difficult for someone to concentrate. I'd far rather someone made the call that they weren't safe to proceed driving than to have dangerous driving.

FillyjonkDOEStellherkidsoff · 07/03/2007 16:20

pmsl at comment #1

"a screaming child is more a distraction than a phone, but they are not Illegal"

and better yet

"What kind of retard are you? Kids only cry for attention and then only when they havn't been taught that they will get none if they do cry"

double

oh what a quality readership the rag attracts..

AttilaTheMeerkat · 07/03/2007 18:09

You should have seen the comments that some of the Daily Wail (Mail) readers came out with when this story was published in their rag. This is the same paper that carries with it a Life without children forum on their Femail webpages.

When DS was two I took him up to London on the train. It was about 10.45am so no commuters around at that time of day. Train pulls into the station and we get on; I'm standing and have DS sitting quietly in his pushchair looking at a book. DS remained peaceful throughout the journey but I still had some old git saying to me in a sneery manner, "oh you shouldn't be travelling at this time of day with your child!". FGS!

Caligula · 07/03/2007 21:00

D'you know, some people would welcome the effing Taliban with open arms, wouldn't they.

fransmom · 07/03/2007 21:05

those kind of people were obv not toddlers themselves

but to say that to a 9mt pg woman [anger]

RosaLuxembourg · 08/03/2007 15:01

PMSL Caligula, that has to be quote of the week.
And sadly too true.

Flamesparrow · 12/03/2007 10:13

Its good to see these comments - I know the brother of the woman in question.

The only comments she has seen have been the sun & mail ones and she is devastated at the implication that she shouldn't have children (of which she now has two ) The baby came a month early, 2 days after the bus

yellowrose · 12/03/2007 11:03

I am convinced we live in one of the least child friendly place on earth. Esp. our big cities. We got stared at non-stop because DS was a bit loud playing with my mum in a posh restaurant. Not screaming because he was unhappy, but playfull and loud beacuse he was HAPPY. It was mum's birthday. The place is full of high chairs, so it wasn't the restaurant staff or owners who don't like hearing or seeing toddlers. It was the bloody customers.

We also got turned down a rented house once because the owner didn't want a toddler living in his house, despite the fact that I said DS is very well behaved and is not allowed to do anything to ruin the house

yellowrose · 12/03/2007 11:12

Oh and I once had to practically force a teenage boy of 16 - 17 to give up his seat (he was sitting in the disabled/mother/child push chair seats) I was 8.5 months pregnant, there was a heat wave and I looked like a beached whale so no way did he miss that I was pregnant (I wasn't fat, just pregnant) - my belly was practically in his face as the bus was packed.

Do you know what he said, when I said I was exhausted and would he mind giving me his seat? He said "It ain't my fault you got yourself pregnant". I felt like saying "I ain't a fecking hemaphrodite, I CAN'T get MYSELF pregnant you twat" !

In the end the woman next to him got up for me

choosyfloosy · 12/03/2007 11:14

does bring out cold sweat and tears remembering ds in apocalyptic horizontal screamer on v quiet, pleasant morning bus full of older people. felt as if we were both covered in neon signs 'hopeless mum' 'spoiled child'. Looked up to see entire bus looking at us with kindly smiling faces and mass comments 'you're doing really well love' 'he's a strong little thing isn't he' 'ooh it gets better'.

tbh think groups of people can go either way. crowd psychology v interesting.

KathyMCMLXXII · 12/03/2007 11:18

Flamesparrow, congratulations to her!
Can you pass on the message that Mumsnet is rooting for her and she must keep going on buses or the tossers will have won?

Choosyfloosy, love your story. V interesting point about crowd psychology.

yellowrose · 12/03/2007 12:16

Nothing to do with crowd pschology. Some people just can't stand children no matter how cute they are. They are not going to be nice and friendly all of a sudden because they are in a crowd that does. I remember some Italian friends coming over once to live in the UK for a while and the first thing they said was that they think Brits. are not very friendly with their small children compared to Italians who mostly adore them. How depressing

Original poster
ELF1981 · 12/03/2007 12:39

Flamesparrow - I'm still on her behalf.
Please pass on my congrats re the baby!

OP posts:
Flamesparrow · 12/03/2007 13:37

We'll get this printed out for her

DrDaddy · 12/03/2007 15:34

yellowrose - your story about the teenager not giving up his seat reminded me of the countless times when we lived in London, commuting on the central line and no one ever got up for DW when she was very pg. I couldn't believe it until I witnessed it. And then, to add insult to injury, some old dear actually offered her seat. Afraid to say I absolutely exploded and ranted feverishly at some businessman who was buried behind his paper. He got off at the next stop and moved carriage!

yellowrose · 12/03/2007 15:43

Dr Daddy - yes parts of London (certainly all the parts I ever lived including, South, East and posh bits of North, were dire when it came to finding child friendly places to eat or have coffee. Starbucks, yes, but I don't like chains. I prefer small independent coffee shops, but very few have high chairs.

Also used to commute to work until 2 weeks before ds birth and I be damned if even the pin stripe suited men in the tube would give up their seats. It was nearly ALWAYS the women who got up for me