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Original poster

4 yr old with depression?!

90 replies

earlysbird · 08/11/2006 08:43

because she didn't get into same school as nursery friends - parents causing it or can a 4 yr old really get depressed of her own accord??

here

OP posts:
MamaG · 08/11/2006 08:44

I thought that when i heard it on the radio earlysbird - at aged 4, surely most parents can "jolly" a child out of feeling sad at not going to same school?

Possibly parents are exaggerating it to try and get her in the school anyway...

Twiglett · 08/11/2006 08:45

parents causing it

am disgusted personally

Original poster
earlysbird · 08/11/2006 08:46

I think that must be the case mamag - they must be really winding her up to make her feel like that, v irresponsible imo

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Twiglett · 08/11/2006 08:46

doctor's quote

""I have been treating Mollie and her mother for stress, depression and bed wetting due to the situation at school."

MamaG · 08/11/2006 08:47

Why is her mother getting so bloody stressed about it? No wonder the poor little girl is so upset.

LOOK AFTER YOUR CHILD !

Carmenere · 08/11/2006 08:48

This is ridiculous, how is the child supposed to learn how to deal with dissapointment?

Original poster
earlysbird · 08/11/2006 08:48

trying it on because they didn't apply on time?

OP posts:
paulaplumpbottom · 08/11/2006 08:54

Poor little thing. Her mom is being ridiculous

saadia · 08/11/2006 08:54

I can understand a child being disappointed at being separated from friends but it shouldn't be this traumatic. If she is so upset by this how will she ever handle anything really upsetting.

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk · 08/11/2006 08:55

what twig said.

Twiglett · 08/11/2006 08:59

to be fair she does have 2 younger children too .. and people do get very hett up by school places ... so I can have some empathy for her

but I think it is immature and severely lacking in parenting skills to emote this to your children is just BAD

UnquietDad · 08/11/2006 09:48

"Possibly parents are exaggerating it to try and get her in the school anyway..."

Never!! Go on!! You'll be telling me the Pope's catholic next...

foxinsocks · 08/11/2006 09:51

did you see them on the news this morning?

it's the guilt - they didn't apply in time for a place and obviously feel terrible about it

I agree with twig

donnie · 08/11/2006 09:56

they will probably sue someone or other for compensation next.

Journey2 · 08/11/2006 10:06

Mummy will now learn when younger child needs to go to school.. don't leave application form too late!

Think Mum is making this even bigger a problem, child needs to learn she can still see friends after school/weekends or that she can make NEW friends.

It's not fun starting somewhere where you know no one, but we all need to learn how to deal with things we don't like.. think of the future!

bluejelly · 08/11/2006 10:10

My dd didn't know anyone when she started school
Took her about 2 days to make friends.
Her parents have whipped her up into a frenzy which is utterly irresponsible, if you ask me

Greensleeves · 08/11/2006 10:14

Just to make myself unpopular - I think it's perfectly plausible that a sensitive 4yo could become clinically depressed over something like this. I have a 4yo who is very highly strung and emotionally labile. I think he would have the capacity to suffer from stress/depression if something hurt him badly enough - and I can see how being sent to a different school from the one she has spent 2 years at the nursery of, being separated from all her friends - might be disastrous. My 4yo knows which school he and all his friends are going to next year, he ahs known for ages and has done little visits there with his preschool class. I think if he was denied a place there at the last minute it would seriously throw him.

Do we know the parents are causing Mollie's distress, or manipulating the situation to get the decision changed? And what if they are? People do what's in their own child's best interests. I don't find it surprising that they would try to get the decision changed by whatever means they can if their child is miserable.

Greensleeves · 08/11/2006 10:25

Have just emailed the school I want ds1 to go to and asked for an application form

Carmenere · 08/11/2006 10:27

But Greensleeves even if what you say is true and the child is genuinely depressed how is indulging it and making a media circus out of it doing the best for the child? How is that going to teach the child how to adapt and deal with life? Life throws us curved balls all the time and being flexible is an important life skill imo. This is the parents fault, they diddn't apply in time, yes it is sad for the child but they should show her that she can be happy in her new school and that she can meet and have fun with new children.

Original poster
earlysbird · 08/11/2006 10:30

The parents must accept some responsibilty though, they applied late, nursery places do not automatically guarantee reception places so they should have got their act together. I cannot see how it is in the child's best interests to wind her up rather than jolly her along and make her realise its not so bad, especially when the situation is of the parents' creation.

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Original poster
earlysbird · 08/11/2006 10:31

x post carmenere! (nice wine btw!)

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bakedpotato · 08/11/2006 10:31

Yuk. A 4YO will perceive a problem if the parents present it as one.

TwinklingTinselAndTenaLady · 08/11/2006 10:33

Fgs, I for one as a child was moved pillar to post around schools as my parents moved on to other towns. I lost friends along the way, cried a couple of nights and then found another best friend.

These experiences are what makes the child. They are fickle and the next friends will be more important than the last.

DumbledoresGirl · 08/11/2006 10:34

FWIW, I am sure my son suffered a bout of depression when we moved home (150 miles) and he was separated from all his friends. He was 7 at the time. He was always sad, cried a lot, had lots of unexplained tummy aches (though he is rarely ill normally) and generally just did not seem the same child anymore. He also was diagnosed with asthma which I am sure was going to happen anyway but the timing might have been different. This went on for about 6 months. he then gradually cheered up and now is back to normal, thank God. So I do believe that depression in small children is possible, but I agree that the parents here are not helping. If you read the article closely, it says they were late getting in their original application to the school and I imagine that is where they missed out on a place, so they have only themselves to blame really. Shame the child has to be the one who suffers.

Greensleeves · 08/11/2006 10:34

Well, perhaps they are trying to help her settle in the new school, but at the same time are very worried and upset about her crying/bedwetting/not wanting to go to school? If my child was exhibiting all the signs of being seriously depressed I would do whatever I could to get that decision reversed, even if I was simultaneously trying to help my child to settle and make the best of the new school. I would have taken him to the doctor with those symptoms too. I don't think a 4yo needs to learn such a huge and harsh lesson, just because her parents didn't get the form in on time.