Leaving children 'home alone' - what do you think?

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

A parent is arrested for leaving their child alone every day, according to new research.

The law doesn't currently specify the age at which children can be left on their own - and charges in the last three months of last year involved children between the ages of three months and 14 years.

What do you think? How old were your DC when you left them 'home alone' - and would you like to see the age at which a child can be left unsupervised defined in law?

I was having a little laugh to myself as I was writing a shopping list : gravy, mint sauce for my 11-year-old DS to go to Sainsbury's to buy the bits I need for our Easter Lamb roast.

I was laughing, thinking of flower girl - that she would think that my children are completely Feral - he is only just come home. he's been out in the park playing football with his mates all day and then I send him shopping on his own!!

Our school in year 6, encourages all children to walk to school on their own in preparation for secondary school.

Let's home he comes home alive. With the right mint sauce!

Yes my poor abused ds1 who babysits his siblings some evenings. What a hardship to sit doing homework on the laptop whilst his four siblings are asleep upstairs.

Such abuse, I best tell him to phone childline!

Whereas in the real world dp works with abused kids everyday.... Like fuck is ds1 babysitting abuse or neglect.

My kids are home alone all the time.
Our double garage is apart from our house. I can be out hovering the car for ages.
Meanwhile ds2 has watched at least 3 episodes of Lego ninjargo, without even batting an eyelid to my non visible presence.

Yes, me too 5mad. My dad is a senior social worker, he is the county co-ordinator for all the SS meetings that deal with all the children on the 'at risk register'.

I don't think he's too concerned about my car hoovering antics!!

Much also depends on how 'your property' would be defined. Some people I know have vast gardens. What if both parents are 50 yds from the house digging the veg, while 8 and 10 yr old DC are indoors doing their homework? Is that 'neglect'? Is that 'better' or 'worse' than leaving children the same age while you nip 30yds down the road to the postbox?

Eve, this made me laugh:
1 x 17 year old that I wouldn't trust to tie his own shoelaces.
It's much how I felt about my own DC. DC3 overflowed with sense from a very tender age, unlike DC1 who was the polar opposite. DC3 just knew; DC1 had to be taught.

And yes, I too have been in the detached garage hoovering the car, leaving young DC in the house.

As I said over 12 could be left on own for a short while then no fake 15/17 not the same logic
Blanket ban same as slapping I guess even though parents still slap I hope it stopped a lot in doing so..
The gate/fence scenario are daft examples your children are aware where you are and in calling distance..
No all those examples are not good "stand up in court" even the uncharged phone ! You would plug in and then call? But I could come up with counter scenarios of children left along and accidents/ fatalities etc could happen ...
I'm aware no law on place or planning to be put in place but after reading this shocking thread it should be...
Anyway its never going to be resolved on here that's for sure so my last post concerning this :) just going to sit on the fence (not yours though fake ;)...) and watch in silence x

SS didn't allow our parents to leave us alone until the eldest was 14, then she could look after us if mum needed to shop.
none of us on our own were allowed until 13, but it was no problem for our parents as mum wasn't allowed to work.
so, I have always gone by ss advice to my parents and never dreamt of leaving ours until this age.
What others do is up to them, but I do agree with a law stating what age as some are clearly left too young.
I would always be worried what they were up to as well. I saw all sorts of stuff when my dc peers were left to fend for themselves after school.
A lot ended up feral and in trouble by police.
Parents at work, kids lying they were at home doing homework but creating havoc in the streets, park, shopping centre etc.

Though quickly if I ever needed as intervention I would pray I didn't get the people you know who work for them .... Can't believe a professional would have so little regard for child's welfare !I'm seriously concerned about this

'*as ss

Just out of interest 22 and flowers do you both drive?

And what do you think is more dangerous for a 10 yo child, a long car journey or 5 mins at home alone in front of the TV?

Or in fact a five minute car journey to collect other sibling from somewhere?

I don't know what the actual figures are for these, I would bet the long car journey more dangerous, actually I think probably the short car journey more dangerous as well, certainly I would think the potential consequences of the car journey worse.

If the gov did a study on this and did produce real figures that proved staying at home to be safer would that change your mind or would you still think the child should be placed at greater risk and not be left home alone? Oh and the parent should still be prosecuted for choosing the less risky option?

Statistically you are more likely to have a car crash on short journeys close to home I think within a 5 mile radius?

Kids are at high school from 11 and making their own way to and from school but yet they shouldn't be left alone... Yet ds2 went to France in yr7 aged 11 the pupils went of in pairs or small groups around disneyland for the day and in other locations. They wrre given a contact number and meet up place. The school clearly thinks this is Ok and they are capable but sone think they can't be left home alone for half an hour....

As I sold my ten year old is one on his own at home for short periods, he also cycles two miles to and from school alone, will go to local shops or library and has been doing so for the past year. So since 9. Before that he was allowed out in the cul De sac, went to the post box etc, left for 5 mins building up gradually so he is ready for high school and life in general this is standard of the kids his age I know. Ds2 was slightly older before he did these things as he is a different child. Ds1 was more like ds3 and more sensible. It all depends on so many factors you couldn't legislate for it.

And if we got by S's, though tia. Hidden services actually they were involved with my family after I had Ds4 as I had post natal psychosis and spent time in a psych unit. The weren't remotely bothered by our parenting or that we let ds1 play out etc or let him stay home alone for 5mins of I nipped to the shops. He was yr4/5 at the time.

Children's services not hidden. It this children's services not social services.

As I sold my ten year old

That's the trick, sell them off then you don't have to worry!

i really strongly disagree with selling children

might have to hide this thread

anyway, on a related note, farage wants our kids out playing in the streets like the good old days. apparently its all the foreigners putting us off

Ha ha, it should be as I said... My autocorrect is doing funny things since it updated. Dam you Sony experia.

San- if Farage has said he wants them playing outside then surely my work here is done and I need not say any more??!!
Re accidents more likely in the car, according to the info I posted ages ago from RoSPA home is where most accidents occur.
A child, safety strapped into a decent car in a safe, road worthy modern car or a child doing lord knows what at home...

So I take it from that you believe them safer in the car. I don't know the answer btw I would have guessed safer at home though.

The second part of my question through, if actually staying at home was statistically safer would that make you rethink?

Also those accident figures are really meaningless without knowing what percentage of those children were home alone, for all we know 100% of those accidents might have happened while a parent was with the child.

A lot probably did Fake as I'm pretty sure that it's fairly rare for kids to be home alone (despite this thread!). The point is, accidents happen at home. Personally if they're going to happen in my home I'd rather be there to help.
As I just said, RoSPA said most accidents happen at home so from that, and with no other research, I'm guessing yes, they're safer in a safe car (in a car seat etc etc).

If you google The Facts About Road Accidents and Children (sorry can't link) there's some interesting stats re child safety. Kids in properly fitted and decent car seats are, according to that, very safe. In an accident they will almost certainly be fine.
There's some interesting info re kids crossing roads without an adult. The leaflet says that 11 year olds walking to school alone are twice as likely to be injured as 10 year olds walking with an adult. It says more than a third of children aged 6-10 hit by cars are alone where only one in ten are with an adult. Pretty significant (there's lots more there too but I'll let you google it).

wrt judging car speeds etc, the brain is not fully able to do that until at least 11 (i think i read). the link i put up earlier had some interesting things to say about that, and about investment in playground safety (saved approx 2 lives per year) vs the many more lives that could have been saved if we had invested the same amount of money in making roads safer for children, as Denmark did in the 1970s. another poster made a similar point on this thread. i know already what your solution would be Flowergirlmum, i am sure, but it is sad that we 'retreat to protect' instead of improving our highways

But if you're right San and "the brain.. can't judge car speeds until age 11" (which I haven't heard before but can imagine being true) then surely no amount of intervention on the roads will equate to an adult with that cognitive ability being at a child's side?

sorry my mistake!
2 children per decade!! big difference

this is the info about it:
over the decade or so following the Thatâ??s Life playground safety
campaign, perhaps £200 to £300 million has been spent on a measure that, on the most
optimistic assumptions, would have saved the lives of one or two children.The same
period saw perhaps 1,300 child pedestrians killed and around 40,000 seriously injured,
most in streets close to their homes. Cost-benefit analyses show that residential traffic
calming is at least ten times as effective in reducing accident numbers as playground
safety surfacing. Moreover, unlike surfacing, it has a proven effect on reducing casualty
rates in real-life situations. So the same sum would beyond doubt have saved far more
lives if it had been invested in streets rather than playgrounds.Simply providing more
playgrounds may have saved more lives, since it would have reduced childrenâ??s travel
distances and hence the likelihood of their being run over.49

I don't disagree with any of that San. I'm all for more playgrounds.

its a really interesting analysis of the changes in our culture
No Fear by Tim Gill