Leaving children 'home alone' - what do you think?

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

A parent is arrested for leaving their child alone every day, according to new research.

The law doesn't currently specify the age at which children can be left on their own - and charges in the last three months of last year involved children between the ages of three months and 14 years.

What do you think? How old were your DC when you left them 'home alone' - and would you like to see the age at which a child can be left unsupervised defined in law?

what fake said about wording. I'm fed up with now, I disagree, I have listened to your viewpoint and I haven't criticised you. But you're still harping on about an incredibly unlikely prosecution.

The YouGOV poll had around 100 respondants. One of whom actually said 18 before the "child" could be left alone

Mine all get their own breakfast (6, 8 and 9), they make porridge in the microwave. They're not allowed to use the toaster and only the eldest is allowed to use the kettle and only when we're in the kitchen. I sometimes think I should just make breakfast for them, the mess is horrendous and life would be so much easier, but I figured they've got to learn.

The elder four madthings also get their own bfast, porridge or toast or cereal etc. Ds1 will do fried eggs or omlette etc as well. They will help each other if necessary and are getting better at cleaning up after themselves with much nagging!

I have only just started to leave mine, I have four between 14 and 18. Three are doing exam revision, the youngest is on a school trip in France.

All get given one chore per day. This, the revision and feeding themselves takes up most of the day it seems.

Ten years ago I was paying £350 per week for a nanny......

Oh your still here then flower, keeping on...
Love your little digs at me in almost every single one of your posts I think you need to get out and interact more...you will find many others that do similar.
We need to stop fretting about this and worry more about abuse and domestic violence.

"I have seen you argue against that flowergirl you seem to disagree with lots of perfectly normal parenting choices. That's fine you are entitled to make your own choices for your family but that's where your remit ends, you don't get to make choices for others."

I was left home alone from around the age of 7, I coped perfectly well! I am happy to leave my (very sensible) 8yo DD alone, although not very often as there isn't much need to. However, I wouldn't leave my 5yo and 3yo DD's with her, even for a few minutes, as they are not the slightest bit sensible and i would probably return to a burnt down house!

That case makes no sense at all on the face of it. There was apparently no harm caused to either child, and the mother was later assessed as being a good parent. At 14 I babysat young children regularly, it was as I recall a very easy and well paid job. I would consider my 14 and 15 year olds perfectly capable of looking after a 3 year old.

12 wouldn't be supported as by 11 most children walk to secondary school. They would, I presume, consult experts who would almost certainly set it lower.

Luckily we don't vote on our laws using a poll of 100 people - especially CP and education.

Er for the record the YouGov poll asked 2339 adults not 100. The statistics are given as percentages- hence out of a hundred. walks away in despair

Apologies I read that off this thread.

Even so, 12 would be completely inappropriately old from a CP and child development standpoint.

And to Odd who asked ages ago yes of course they play in my daughter's room or the play room (not in the garden yesterday cause it was raining buckets here), and no I don't breathe down their necks when they are here. Of course not. To suggest otherwise is just ridiculous. BUT (and it is a big, massive but) I am in the house- never more than a 'muuum' away if I am needed. That's the difference surely.

In your opinion Sqizita but clearly not in the opinion of most of those surveyed.

And on the comment re how 1 'person' (percent, percent) said 18 shock horror can you believe it, it's precisely the same percentage as those who said 7! On that poll no one it seems went below 7 (or maybe they weren't asked about leaving 6 year olds and younger as that would have been crazy, no?).

Exactly. .. it's not something that should be decided by a poll. That's my point.
Because ... shock.horror ... All those people won't have the relevant accident and crime stats, won't have a wealth of experience with a range of kids, won't understand the relevant psychological and neurological stuff.

The majority are fine to say they won't leave their kids. But it bears no proper influence over what the law should be, if there were a law.

It won't be decided by a poll. It will be decided by a Government. That's the way our society works. However, Governments often look to opinion polls to gauge feeling/mood amongst the population and it seems that the vast majority of people in the UK want the law to be specific and clear and want 12 as the minimum age.
And before people start shouting about how the poll is still only a small percentage of the population, that's how polls work. It's a sample of a range of people from different backgrounds/ages/political stances which demonstrate a snapshot of the population.

And I'll say again, there IS a law! It's just very very vague and won't affect you until the point at which you are affected by it.

The yougov poll results are easy to find if your Google them (can't do links on my phone). Interestingly they seem to show that the over 60s are the age group most often saying bizarrely old ages for being left alone. The question's worded quite vaguely though. I wonder whether some of the people answering 16+ interpreted "a short time" to mean a few days?

Maybe I have the wrong poll..... will need to check figures, though if I misread actually its more scary if 1% of people thought 18, that to me suggests they were pratting about filling it in (as we did at secondary school with yougov polls!)

In my cul-de-sac they all played out from 4 including my dc. They werent feral, they played ball games and built little camps in the gully that ran along the side of the estate.
Those children are all teenagers now and older and sadly we don't see children in our road playing out any more, even though there are a next generation of smaller ones.
I started to leave the dc for a few minutes at 8 ie to take one round the corner to rainbows or scouts which was a few minutes walk. They started to walk to school in year 5 and started to stay at home while I was at work from 11 (work was a few minutes walk down the road). The were getting the train by themselves 7 miles away from secondary school. The are very independent travellers and started going to London by themselves from about 15.
We didn't have a need to leave them overnight until the youngest was 16.

Flowergirl you seem to have a very poor opinion of other children. My dd has been volunteering looking after children with SN since the age of 12, she babysat from the age 15 and has done respite care as a weekend job since she was 16. Both children were more than sensible enough to be left by themselves or playing out.

I wouldn't like to see an age limit set in law - whether it is reasonable to leave a child alone depends so much on the child, the location, the length of time the child is alone and how far away the parent is.

We live in a swiss village and most parents start to leave their children for short periods alone from about 6, rising to leaving for an hour or two by 10.
Everyone knows their neighbours, it's not like being left alone in the middle of nowhere.

Here it is considered essential for healthy child development, (eg imagination, independence, self-reliance and a sense of responsibility), to give children space to play outdoors out of direct adult supervision - for example the kindergarten teachers don't always go outside with the children at break times, parents are strongly discouraged from walking with children to school from age 5. All the kids play out as most people live in apartments with communal play areas and by about 8 kids are off on their bikes all over the village or at the skate park.

The culture is different here - other adults would step in if they saw any 'feral' behaviour - the kids know they only keep their freedom if they behave.

If a law was passed I am convinced it wouldn't be put at as high an age as 12.

I have a very high opinion of children to be honest. I work with teenagers on a daily basis and wouldn't change it for the world.

Re the poll, yep that'll be it. The figures will be wrong, or it'll be kids messing about or something. Great. That's ticked that one off then hey.

I have a very high opinion of children to be honest. I work with teenagers on a daily basis and wouldn't change it for the world

So why did you automatically assume children playing outside were 'running feral'

Or was that just goading?

It was fairly tongue in cheek Eve funnily enough. However, we weren't at the time talking about teenagers but about 9 and 10 year olds (which later turned into 6-10 year olds). Groups of them, entirely unsupervised and free to do what they wanted is probably pretty feral in my experience!

Cant believe this still going round in circles.. But Lol feral makes me smile as I always use that expression when talking about my kids .. I say they like feral cats they into everything playing in/out side etc etc , but never left home alone, certainly not going to park at 6/8 alone or in group without 1 responsible adult ,