working mums v stay at home - daily telegraph

[gremlin]

I don't know about any other working mums but I know that I personally have just about had enough of the mud-slinging that goes on in the press about how damaging working motherhood is to children. I know that the telegraph were just reporting on an issue (report into working mums in yesterday's paper) , but I am sick to death of reading virtually daily about all the things that I am supposed to be doing wrong as a parent. I HAVE to work 3 days a week. My darling husband who IS actually THE best father ever doesn't have the best paid job in the world and to afford our home I HAVE to supplement our finances. When is british society finally gong to start supporting parents and making them feel like they are doing the best they possibly can instead of chipping away constantly at our confidence? I am SICK, SICK, SICK of it. ARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

until the daily telegraph can offer to pay my bills and rent, they can f*ck off.

Gremlin - dare I ask for a link to the article? As I am interested but didn't see it

Furthermore, I would LOVE to be at home. I know full well how much of my darling children's lives I am missing, I feel the guilt every day. I pack every spare moment I have with them full of things we can do together like cooking, nature walks, reading, in fact anything that I know is quality, face-to-face, talking to each other fun. And still the guilt! I, and I am sure, every other parent out there reading this is absolutely, regardless of our diferent circumstances, trying our level best, to provide the best possible upbringing for our kids. This issue fires me up!

Two hoots - sorry but I am sure if you go to their web page you may find some link - I will check my recycle bin now to see if there was one

expat - the article did have viewpoints from both sides, but the headline is always so bloody negative

I don't feel guilt.

This place is an expensive place to live.

So I'm trying to change our lives so it doesn't have to be this way and I don't have to deal w/this crap job.

two hoots - a couple of links are fulltime mothers.org, frankfuredi.com, motheratwork.co.uk.

i hate it when the media, Always the bl*dy media print crap like that, why do they need to compare stay at homes to working parent or vise/versa(oh remember the choc sweets by that name), i don't and have never compared myself to a working parent and i stayed at home for 7yrs, i now work as a childminder, i would never say its damaging to a child when there parent works and i would never say i've done better for my children because i stayed at home, some of us need to work and some can have a choice to stay at home, whatever parents choose they and their children shouldn't be slated by the media, what gives them the bl*dy right to sit behind a desk and put pen to a wee notebook and say "woo i think its damaging to children lets fill the column with that article" and so much for their research, i don't beleive all the crap about their research the same as i don't take in all the crap in the media! Thanks for listening, ranting over!

I just wish I could stay at home, know I can't, so try to make the very best of what time I do have, as I am sure we all do. My reaction to the article is probably out of all proportion. But my confidence is undermined all the time by the constant appearance of articles that make me consider that despite doing everything I can, I am still getting it wrong!

This article was basically setting working mothers up against full-time mums. We mums need to stick together, full-time at home or not.

the article wasn't that bad (though I only skim read it) - thought they had balanced it quite well

they were commenting on some new research done (can't recall who did the research)

i dont feel guilt.

i would feel guilt if my kids were dressed in rags, living in a shithole with no decent food in their bellys.

articles like this used to piss me right off, now they just BORE me.

With the title Mummy Wars? Like I said previously, the article did try to give a balanced view but the headline is not helpful. And as I said my reaction is because of the constant drip drip of negative headlines.

tired emma - wish I had your head on my shoulders! I need to chill!

well I must admit my heart sank a bit when I saw it (but only because there has been so much of it on here recently) but it wasn't as bad as the headline suggested

papers know it is a contentious issue though and one that gets people talking (like now!) hence the column inches given over to it

you can't open the dailies without having to read some vacuous column about 'family life'

Amen, tired!

yes but if you were a SAHM you would have exactly the same pressures but the other way round

the thing to remember is that as long as you are doing the best for your family the way YOU see it ... then you are the best mother you can be

simple .. isn't it?

"Working mother dismiss stay-at-home mothers as idle...while non working mothers criticise working mothers as too wrapped up in their careers to care about their children."

Sorry, it makes me really cross.

I work because I have to, because the government are robbing us blind, tax tax tax

They make us go to work then tell us we should feel guilty about it .. yaboo

What is more damaging to DS - me working, or us being well below the poverty line, possibly homeless in a hostel, not having enough money for warm clothes, decent wholesome food.....
I'd love to stay at home with him, but we can't afford to. SAHM's are FAR from idle!!!

I am a SAHM (I do work but from home)and I remember when my first child was little reading a report on how children who attend full time nursery have many more advantages than those who stay at home with mum and it even suggested that the children with good exam results where those who attended nursery from a few months old!!!!!

I felt so guilty I considered (for a short irrational time) going back to work just be able to send LO to nursery

We as mum's are easy target, our kids are so precious to us and we want to get it right, the press know by printing these articles we will buy the paper. Personally I only get buy a paper for the free cd or book for the children! (recently Roald Dahl CD's and Horrid Histories) Last night(tuesday) I had a few minutes to flick through saturday paper whilst removing the CD then tossed the paper in the recyling bin!

If you have to work, you have to work. I think it's shity that any paper, thing, person should go on about things like this.
I am lucky enought to be a sahm. If you have to work, don't feel guilty and don't let stupid articles get you down.

They should lobby the govermnent rather than savaging parents.
To try and make it easier for a parent to stay at home with a child if that's what the family wants for the first 3-5 years

Tax breaks, whatever
Bastards...

here here tiredemma
these articles used to stress me out (my dd's go to nursery a couple of days a week while i work from home) but now i just think they are dull. Trotting out the same old stuff day in, day out. Winding us up, getting us to buy their papers, giving people something to worry about.

I know my kids are well adjusted, sociable, they enjoy nursery and their days at home with me. On days at home, i don't need to take them to toddler group etc. (i'd hate that) as they've had enough stimulation and can just have friends over, play with their toys or even chill out and watch cbeebies for a bit - and i don't feel bad.

At the end of the day we all love and care for our children. We are doing our best. There isn't a perfect answer. Being a SAHM isn't possible or the best thing for all families. i could go on...