Madonna adopting a child?

[fartmeistergeneral]

Sorry if this has been done, can't see it anywhere.

I'm quite stunned by this actually. She is adopting a one year old boy who's mother has died. The father of the child said (reportedly) that he was sad to say goodbye to his son but he would have a better life in America.

Is this right?

I heard on Jeremy Vine last week a woman who was adopted from Africa and lived in London and who was now a successful lawyer or some such thing. She said she had had a great life, but would have preferred to stay with her family and her people. Interestingly she said that people always said to her 'you're so lucky, the opportunities you've had in this country' and she always replied 'what? I'm lucky that my mother died in childbirth and that I was removed from my entire family?' Interesting to hear it from that side.

I don't want this to be a discussion on adopting from other countries, that's different.

What I'm saying is, Madonna has more wealth than she could ever spend in her lifetime. Surely, instead of removing this boy from his family she could have paid for the entire village to have a new school, new water system, new farming machinery, whatever they needed to make their lives better. Instead of removing the child from his father. It smacks of selfishness that she wanted just wanted the child, and left the rest of them in their poverty. It's like, Madonna has so much, money, everything and what's left? A project?

Please don't be offended all you who have adopted abroad. That's not the issue here, it's the wealth of the woman and the difference she could have made.

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, what do you all think?

[wannaBe1974]

But who really knows what goes on in these peoples' lives. We read about what the media want us to know about, the sensationalist parts, but how do we really know whether she will be there for the child? whether she is there for her own children? It's easy for us to judge because we see the £££ and assume that she's bought a baby. Maybe she has, but what future did that child have otherwise. You simply cannot throw money at a country where there is so much corruption that the money would never reach its destination anyway. As for where the baby will grow up, i.e. with the nanny/madonna, well it's not only the filthy rich who apply that approach - my dh' boss adopted a little girl about 18 months ago. It took her 3 years to be approved, and ultimately she took custody of an 18 month old little girl. She kept her full time career, and the little girl was home with the nanny every day - this woman worked from 7 in the morning until 7 at night. Then after about 9 months the child had begun to show some autistic trates, and before the adoption was approved she changed her mind and the child went back into foster care because "her behavior was upsetting my son". Sorry I digress ...

oh and as for the lawyer, how easy is it to say that she would rather have grown up in her own country, yet she was talking on the radio, having aquired her degree etc - if she'd wanted so much to go back she could have surely?

[Issymum]

Thanks Sunchowder. This Madonna adoption business has got under my skin perhaps more than I would willingly admit. It has tacitly given permission to the media and the world to question the motives, integrity and wisdom of not just Madonna but every inter-country adoptive parent, including me. It is, I guess, fair enough, although most of that questioning is based on media speculation, over-simplification and straight forward misinformation. It's just very wearing and dispriting.

It also drove me to the following very snipey exchange with a woman who saw my DDs in the changing room of our local swimming pool and asked without preamble:

"Where are they from?"
"Guildford"
"No, I mean which country are they from?"
"The UK"
"No, where were they born?"
"You know, I'm sorry, but it's their story and I don't think it's appropriate to share it with you."

If you are that person and a Mnetter, sorry. I could have been politer!

[morocco]

if anyone would like to donate to a charity that helps to restore children to their families or else to at least place them in foster care, then this charity (along with lots of others) is worth checking out. They explain the personal reasons behind why some children were left in orphanages instead of being cared for by parents and usually it comes down to lack of money. it's very sad. the solution to my mind is to give the parents the support they need to look after their children at home (help finding a job/accommodation etc)
every child matters

[Piffle]

Bit late to this as have been examining articles as was not sure how I felt about it
end of the day, that little lad will have a life many kids dream of.
Whatever Madonnas reasons, love,altruism, philanthropy, shameless self promotion, she has never paraded her kids out in the media. Not like many other slebs.
I'm sure as the years go on and she takes David back to Malawi as she has said she will to see family and his roots etc, she will continue to help improve the area he comes from.
Personally end of the day, the little lad gets a great life...

[LittleWonder]

Glad to see a few people thinking clearly here. to those against the adoption, I just thought - imagine if our children were orphaned, what would we rather wish for - a life in an orphanage or being flown across the world into a wealthy and loving family of whatever culture? I know what I would chose for them. Who would rather their child stayed in the orphanage? Anyone?

[Callisto]

I really don't have an issue with inter-country adoption, I think it is a good thing and seeing parents and children of different colours would worry me not at all. My worry is not that Madonna has adopted a child but that she has used her money to bypass the adoption procedure and has shown the way for other much more unsavoury types to do the same thing.