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Original poster

Schools to offer abortion advice in a bid to cut the number of unwanted under-age pregnancies.

100 replies

bubble99 · 13/09/2006 21:12

And I realise that this is an incredibly contentious subject. But I just wondered how mnetters feel about this.

OP posts:

Blondilocks · 13/09/2006 22:35

QP - I also hope it gets better for you. x

EmsTomot · 13/09/2006 22:35

I bet you are an excellent mother, partly because you would always have been and partly because of what you have been through.
At twelve weeks pregnant you lost the chance of a baby - but did not allow them to take a baby, if you know what I am tryig to say - I'm probably not wording it right. What I am trying to say, the trauma you experienced probably is the constant reminder of that time and the complete opposite of that experience is the thought of the baby you didn't have which is probably why you are stuck with such strong feelings, as they are so closely connected. You are not to blame for the circumstance you found yourself in, you said yourself you were offered no advice. It is lovely that you are a mother at last and want a large family - focus on that - maybe it will help you turn a corner.

SpaceCadet · 13/09/2006 22:37

blimey thats not right QP-its not up to anyone to tell you that youve done the right thing, its about learnming to live with it and move forward.
i was given cbt which helped enormously.

Original poster

bubble99 · 13/09/2006 22:39

This is such a tough subject, isn't it?

I feel so strongly for you now, QP. And your (and Spacey's abortion) are obviously having such a huge affect on you both at this stage of your lives.

How do we balance this?

The 15 year old (and, most importantly her child) are being so negatively affected by her decision not to have an abortion. And, believe me, they are. A mother who has 'lost interest' solely, I suspect, due to her age is not a good thing for either her or her child.

I suppose I would say that abortion is 'right' at some stages in life but that the impact can be so crippling in later years.

OP posts:

SpaceCadet · 13/09/2006 22:41

it is crippling , although i went on to have 2 more healthy children and the cbt helped, i find myself sometimes idly pondering if my subsequent losses WERE my punishment, but i KNOW it doesnt work like that.

EmsTomot · 13/09/2006 22:42

I don't think there is an answer Bubble because there are no two people or two circumstances alike. This is why education in its robotic and factual form can only benefit certain numbers.
I think the cases of abortion here, show that support whatever the decision is paramount, otherwise the effects can be devastating.

Blondilocks · 13/09/2006 22:42

The trouble is you can't tell until it's too late.

EmsTomot · 13/09/2006 22:43

Space cadet - you are right, it is about looking forward once you can accept the past and try to move on. I wish you and QP all the love and luck in the world, you have both really touched me.

Original poster

bubble99 · 13/09/2006 22:44

And can I also say how good it is to have such an honest and non-aggressive talk about this. I was nervous about pressing 'post' on this thread, TBH. But I'm glad I did.

OP posts:

SpaceCadet · 13/09/2006 22:46

and on that note im going to bid you all goodnight..eyes look like peeholes in the snow.

Quootiepie · 13/09/2006 22:47

I think personally abortion should be banned - this day and age there is a total choice of contraception... and a good adoption system (allowed to see baby and decide for 6 weeks I think)... Its like looking at a baby in the street and saying "you shoudnt be here - you shouldnt be given the chance to live".

Back to origional discussion, schools should advise on pregnancy prevention - ALL the differnt types, not just condoms, and sources of help if you do become pregnant. But abortion??? No. You are so impressionable at that age... it doesnt bear thinking about.

SpaceCadet · 13/09/2006 22:47

QP-((hugs))

EmsTomot · 13/09/2006 22:48

When I started reading the thread, I was more in the pro life camp. Now I am completely pro choice but feel that this choice should be guided with as much information and support that can be offered.
I certainly didn't know what an abortion entailed and quite ignorantly thought you walked in and out with no hassle. I think the stress endured with the decision, the actual procedure and the emotions afterwards is cruel and we need to make sure that teenagers and any woman in this situation is simply helped as much as possible.

SpaceCadet · 13/09/2006 22:50

QP-.i certainly wouldnt want to see us go back to the days of back street abortionists.

Quootiepie · 13/09/2006 22:50

((hugs back))

to be honest I wish I had steered clear of this thread... im all het up now and over the place.

SpaceCadet · 13/09/2006 22:51

QP-ive shed a few tears whilst posting on this thread too, which is why im definitely going to bed.

EmsTomot · 13/09/2006 22:52

Taking que from all sensibles going to bed, afterall, have an early morning feed to do and need to be able to smile!
It was interesting talking to you all, wish you all well. QP, hold on to the anger you have because it will give you strength, but look to use it in a positive way, otherwise you will be eaten up by it and like you have said, you have so much to look forward to. x

EmsTomot · 13/09/2006 22:54

QP - have a good nights sleep - sorry if we have bought up painful memories for you, but you have really been an important part of this thread. I think your honesty is really brave.

Original poster

bubble99 · 13/09/2006 22:56

Night all. X

OP posts:

Quootiepie · 13/09/2006 22:56

I think that if abortion was made illegal, the uptake on contraception would increase. There wouldnt be back street abortions... times have changed.

EmsTomot · 13/09/2006 22:56

Night

Quootiepie · 13/09/2006 22:57

night everyone going to bed x

Tortington · 14/09/2006 00:23

give girls £1,000 on not having a baby at 18, again at 20 again at 25.

thats the way to do it. i am cetain.

i dont see any reason why abortion cannot be talkeda bout along with other methods. your doctor asks you anyway.

my doctor said " are you going to be a budding doctor" as i sat there in my school uniform just finihed 6th form for the day. i shook my head
" do you want an abortion"
i shook my head.
then he made the appts with hospital.

its certainly something i would discuss with m hildren as an option becuase i am a responsible parent who believes it should not be up to the school - however realit doesnt work this way i know - so i see no reason why not

missingram · 23/10/2006 21:45

Quootiepie,I am the exact same age as you, and also had an abortion at 18, AND am still struggling to get over it all..it's made rather worse by the fact that I've just miscarried, as it's now also approaching the 2year anniversary - to the day of my termination (25th Oct)
Please contact me if you'd like a shoulder to lean on/sounding board - i could sure use one now and again aswell!
[email protected]

Kirsten x

MadamePlatypus · 23/10/2006 22:12

What do they mean by 'abortion advice'. I don't think it would be possible to explain what is involved in an abortion and make it sound like a nice thing to have. Can't imagine any teenage girl hearing about what was involved and thinking ooh that sounds so much nicer than the pill.

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