Schools to offer abortion advice in a bid to cut the number of unwanted under-age pregnancies.

[bubble99]

And I realise that this is an incredibly contentious subject. But I just wondered how mnetters feel about this.

Oh Quootiepie - when you say too quick to dish them out, do you go through any checks or advice before hand? Appreciate you might not want to talk about it,

Quootiepie. That sounds like good advice.

I'll be brief.

Abortion should not be seen as an alternative to putting a condom on. It saddens me to hear that a woman would rather go and have an abortion than go through the "inconvenience" of using contraception.

bubble-not always.a close friend of mine had a termination and was sent home with just painkillers.
i was given abs, but still developed an infection, but there were complications..long story

The thing is, boogiewoogie (love the name, BTW ) I'm interested in the girls who may not have been given enough sex education. How do we deal with these pregnancies?

I s'pose it comes down to whether abortion is 'worse' than giving birth to an unwanted child, doesn't it?

"I'm interested in the girls who may not have been given enough sex education. "

Surely then they should be ensuring that money is spent ensuring all girls (and boys!) have proper sex education - clearly something is failing if they're becoming pregnant after not knowing the 'facts'.......

It is worrying that education seems to be given around the age of consent when in actual fact, youngsters are having sex much much younger. You are right, how can they be fully educated in every aspect at such a young age?

Bubble, I agree with your last comment about which choice is perceived as being worse - but surely either avenue could devastate a young girls life - lets face it, there is more pressure on the mother than the father.

But, QOQ, is it just a case of 'money being spent.'

I think it has as much to do with peer-pressure and attitudes.

14 year olds are not known, in most cases, for 'doing the right or sensible thing.' Indeed, in a lot of cases, I imagine 'doing the right or sensible thing' is the last thing on their minds.

I went with the view of keeping my baby, GP sent me to see midwife, by that time I paniced and said we'd changed our minds. She asked why, I said I wanted to go to college (was very unclear of the fact I could have had help). She sent me back to GP the next day who wrote a referal letter. I was crying at the time. Went to hospital for an internal scan, "councilling" (a woman turning up 2 hours late, in a rush who only asked me if I was sure). Went upstars to be weighed etc, and get a leaflet about what to bring. About 2 weeks later went to hospital, sat on a bed for about 5 hours, then it was "my turn", signed a few forms, mask over face. bye bye. Woke up in AGONY, white as anything and was wheeled back and left. Threw up everywhere and was given extra painkillers in the IV in the back of my hand. Tried to stand up about 2 hours later, but blood was gushing out of me. Told to sit back down, and try later. Another nurse came, got me up and walked me to the loo. I was so embarrased as there was blood dripping everywhere. THrew up and passed out in loo. Sent home with pack of pills, some anti-Bs and some painkillers. Passed clots for 4 weeks, ended up in a & e, and had a D & C. After all that I was on a few different anti - Bs, a few diff. painkilers, and max. dose iron tablets. 2 months later I went private to have my tubes flushes, and a check for PID. How im sat here with DS I dont know...

That is a fair point bubble and to be honest, I don't know what the solution is.

Of course they should be receiving sufficient advice on safe sex already at school but all I'm saying that we have to be careful not to say that "there's always abortion" if there isn't a condom. If a girl is pregnant then she deserves good advice and support about options available without prejudice. I know that there's more to it then what I've already said but really need to go now.

Honestly, not just chickening out!

Anyhooo, I'm off to bed. I've already had to reconnect once!

is there such a thing as a sensible 14 year old?

Ems. At 14 I know I would not have been worrying about my future fertility.

im 20 now, was 18 at the time. My view on abortion was the same, I was just... scared, rushed, confused and wasnt offered a choice. DH and I know now the effect it has, and know how to be towards our children with regards to sex/pregnancy.

QP-my circumstance was different in that id become pregnant as a result of an assault..however, i was desperate to terminate quickly as otherwise i would have had to told my family i was raped etc, didnt see any way forward and just wanted the reminder gone, was never counselled, they didnt used to scan you in those days either, so was just examined and declared x weeks, had the op...went home, actually i didnt get any abs, thinking about it, i had retained products, collapsed was operated on again sent home with, various abs, suffered severe pod for months im amazed too that i had any more children

Quootiepie, thank you for opening up like that - it sounds horrific now...how can anyone be treated so flipantly?
Bubble - that is exactly the point I am making about this advise - in the moment, it is a solution to a problem. I am not saying it is the wrong choice to make - I am pro choice, however the advise should go beyond terminating a pregnancy, because the forteen year olds that do go on to want to be mothers years later, have the right to know if they are damaging their chances. It is irresponsible to give a way out, however appropriate without going through all of the consequences.
Also what mother would want their daughter to go through something similar to Quootiepie? We should demand well rounded advice, and unfortunately when it comes to education, alot of the time it is to do with the status of the school or which party you vote for rather than the interests of the students.

I'm left with the impression that most 14 year olds are just not 'ready' to be mothers.

Abortion does affect women in later years. I'm sure of that. But at 14? I could barely get it together to buy a bus-pass.

So, do we advise girls not to have abortions at a point in their lives when it may impact on their futures? Or do we advise them to do the 'right thing' for their stage of life?

I think sex-ed needs to also expel common myths that seem to go round teenagers - you can't get pregnant on your period or on your first time type myths.

I also think that feeling that you can go & talk to someone without being judged should things go wrong is also important. I'm sure many people are put off asking for help either before or after purely due to being afraid of being criticized rather than helped & supported through this tough scenario.

I didn't have an abortion at 14 ... tried to pretend nothing was happening if I'm totally honest. (I didn't fall for the myths was just silly but I'm sure some people do believe them! & in my defense it was a contraceptive accident)

Now I don't think I could have an abortion, the thought just makes me feel upset esp if I think about how I could have done that instead of having my LO. However, I totally respect the choices of others and think it is important for women to have this choice available to them.

ive got to be honest and say that had i become pregnant at 14, god forbid i was still a virgin, i would have wanted it all over and done with and wouldnt have given future fertility a second thought, i didnt even like children at 14

Bubble I agree - they need to be taught what is appropriate for their age but things change so rapidly - I am 24 now, at 14, even 16, I wasn't even thinking about sex - boyfriends yes, sex though...

Spacecadet - good point - I guess it has a lot to do with how old we think are 14 year olds are mentally - how mature are they? - Years ago they were still children and this would be the decision of their parents...I'm not saying that is the way forward though, it just amazes me that sex is even linked with this age.

If I had a pregnant 14 year old daughter - I would advise her to have an abortion.

By doing so I realise that if she, at a point when she wanted to have children- couldn't. I would have to deal with the recriminations.

But at 14? A child looking after a child (unless there is outstanding family support, in effect 'parenting' by others) cannot work.

And I'm not saying that at 14 she may not 'want' to have a child. But reality bites and I suspect I would be the one left holding the baby.