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Original poster

Pregnant at just 11 !!!!

186 replies

biglips · 12/05/2006 10:07

WTF!!!

\link{http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=17067634%26method=full%26siteid=94762%26headline=pregnant%2d%2d%2d%2dat%2djust%2d11-name_page.html\Shes making it all sounds so easy to look after a baby! - eh!!!}

OP posts:
fattiemumma · 14/05/2006 11:50

I agree the whole family need a hell of a lot of support. but i have a concern that if she gets too much publicised help there may be other very illeducated and naive young girls out there thinking "hey i can have a baby and SS will help me"

Caligula · 14/05/2006 11:54

Better than having a baby and SS not helping them, surely?

One of the things which doesn't seem to have been picked up on, is that this child's mother must also have had a pretty lousy experience of parenting. It's only a guess and perhaps I'm misjudging Great Granny here, but mostly these cycles are followed generation after generation. The big challenge for us as a society, is to break the cycle. And I don't believe we can do that by tutting and kidnapping the babies to give them to more deserving parents, we can only do it by giving these young girls better options and better parenting.

Blandmum · 14/05/2006 13:09

Totaly agree that the dreadful downwards spiral ,that some girls find themselves on, can only be broken by support and education into better parenting skills.

Not sure that being dirt poor in the explanation for letting the cameras in though. My grandma was dirt poor (and this was in the 1930s,she was a widdow, no shoes and little food dirt poor). If my mother had come home PG at 11 my grand wouldn't have been proclaiming the fact.

PinkTulips · 14/05/2006 14:34

feel sorry for the boy, i know plenty of girls who sould have passed for 16 when they were 11, me included. i even knew one girl who used to go clubbing at 12 as she looked so much older. seems unfair that the poor lad could end up with jail time for doing what most other lads his age are doing, i doubt there are many 15 year old boys who'd knowingly have sex with a 11 year old, if for no other reason than they'd be terrified of the repurcussions.

don't agree with the suggestion of forcibly taking the baby away from it's mother, she has yet to prove whether or not she can do the job, for all we know with the right support and education she could be an outstanding mother, i dont think thats likely to happen if her own mother remains her only role model and sole source of support and guidance though

happybebe · 14/05/2006 16:46

who is suggesting the baby should be taken away??? what has this young mum done to have her child taken away? disgusting that anyone could suggest it. a child belongs with its mother unless it is suffering from abuse in any way. this baby will be probably better looked after than others by the fact that SS etc will be around more than if it was an ordinary child. cant actually belive that there are people actually suggesting the baby is better off being forcibly removed from its mother HOWEVER the situation. Sad

gscrym · 14/05/2006 17:05

There may be other issues that SS are involved. I know they shouldn't just take a child away because of the mothers age. My mum was a social worker in West Lothian but she's been retired for a long time now. There were 2 cases that the press jumped on that she was involved heavily in. I knew some of the case from what she had told me. The press didn't reflect any of the truth and were extremely derogetory to a person involved. The had to print an apology. I know social services make mistakes. The family involved can give their side of the story but Social Services aren't allowed to comment so can't explain their position. I'm going to shrink back down again and hide.

I do think it's wrong if they take the baby away due to the age of the mother though. Did shock me though that someone could be a granny at a year older than me.

foundintranslation · 14/05/2006 17:10

spidermama, you're not leaving are you? :(

UCM · 14/05/2006 17:44

I would parp this myself had I not had first hand experience. My S gave birth aged 16 in the early 70's and believe me it was still a stigma. My parents done their best to make sure their grandson was looked after properly, S expected to still go out, but my parents were strict and said that no, she has a child to look after, so must be responsible, but as soon as she was 17, my sister was given a council flat. I don't care what anybody says, she was not mature enough for this. The best thing really, and I don't want to go into detail too much would have been for my nephew to have been adopted by a couple. I love him to bits, but he went on to get a 15 year old pg, and that child has a crap life as well.

I DO NOT believe that this child will be able to look after her child, in any way, and with a mother like she has.....nope.

sparklemagic · 14/05/2006 18:09

As someone said, social services are investigating the family. At 11, a child who is in situations which mean she ends up drinking, somking and pregnant, is a child who is going to receive some input from social services. The mother could be considered to have neglected her daughter's safety to such a degree that she is a 'child in need' which would gain her a social worker.

It is actually quite possible that the baby this child has, will be taken into care and adopted. It happened with a girl I worked with who gave birth at 16. Social services make a plan of what needs to be acheived in order for the baby to be considered adequately cared for, and they did not hang around when it proved not to be happening in this case. The baby was adopted against the family's wishes before it was one year old.

HappyMumof2 · 14/05/2006 18:13

This is really depressing. Didn't realise the mother was on heroin. What hope has that baby got?

It just goes round in circles and carries on from one generation to the next.

I don't believe the baby should be taken from the girl outright. She deserves a chance to be a mother.

I feel the best thing would be to take both the girl and the baby into a mother & baby foster placement where she can be taught parenting skills from a skilled foster carer. She has obviously never been taught to parent from her own mother.

Obviously, if she fails, the best thing for this baby probably is adoption, to allow it a chance in life, but I think she could be given a chance.

There was (I think a) 12 yr old who was pregnant a couple of years ago. There was a follow up to her case in a magazine a few weeks ago. She seems to be coping okay with her child and has now had a second (not a good thing probably.....) but the children appeared well cared for.

Very sad for everyone involved, especially the baby Sad

The girls mother should be ashamed of herself Angry

Shooting up heroin in the kitchen and allowing it to be photographed for the Sunday papers??? I think ss should be looking very carefully at what happens to all her children.......

UCM · 14/05/2006 20:47

I shouldn't really be in here. But I can't help myself.

How many of you were adopted in MN?? I bet you had great upbringings????
This child will have a crap upbringing?

Blandmum · 14/05/2006 20:59

i was not adopted, but i have a cousin who was. she was adopted as an 8 day old in the late 1950s. my aunt loved her very much, as did uncle who sadly died when cousin was quite small. as was the case at the time there was no contact with the bm, such things were not done.

for whatever reason cousin went spectacularly off the rails as a late teenager, drugs, prostitution, theft and violence to My aunt who was devoted to her only child.

cousin wenr on to have 2 kids, one with quite marked sn due to her drug use. she left him with his father. still is still an adict and came back to My aunt when she was dying and abused her verbaly.

so adoption isn't a clear cut 'solution' to these issues. my cousin was obviously affected by being adopted. otoh, her own son wasn't helped much by being left with her.

and awful situation all round

UCM · 14/05/2006 21:07

Please, how many of you on MN were adopted in the 70's/60's.

Yorkiegirl · 14/05/2006 21:08

I was

UCM · 14/05/2006 21:09

There was no way that my life would have been very good with my BM. She was 36, not 16, but it makes no difference. I was better off being adopted.

UCM · 14/05/2006 21:11

Right, perhaps I should word this differently - How many of you feel that your eleven year old is ready for motherhood?

UCM · 14/05/2006 21:13

Because any of you that do feel this is ok, I will report to the police immediately?

HappyMumof2 · 14/05/2006 21:13

eh?

UCM · 14/05/2006 21:14

YG I am going to stay off of this now.

shellybelly · 14/05/2006 21:14

eh where the hell did that come from?

HappyMumof2 · 14/05/2006 21:15

UCM - I really don't mean to be rude but I think you should stay off the News threads all together....

UCM · 14/05/2006 21:16

I am really getting angry that people think that it's ok for an 11 year old to have children. But as long as she gets support - WTF. No support, give the children a chance, let them be adopted.

HappyMumof2 · 14/05/2006 21:17

I don't think anyone said it's ok.

Why would you report us to the police for thinking it's ok???

(Not that any of us do as far as I can see.....)

UCM · 14/05/2006 21:19

Yes you are probably right, but I itch to say something sometimes.

can't help myself

I never agree with certain stuff, so should I shut up then.

Blandmum · 14/05/2006 21:19

i don't think that anyone has sad anything even slightly like that. in fact most people have said that it is awful that this child should be pg at 11. the question is what should happen now. And what help this child will need

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