"absolutely acceptable to leave a child"

[prufrock]

Has anyone else read the unbelievable story about the English couple arrested in NY because they left their 4 month old in a locked car by herself whilst they went into a shopping centre? Their defence is that the Americans have blown this out of all proportion because it is completely culturally acceptable to do this in Great Britain!

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Would like to know the full story. I do leave my 2 in the car outside the local mini shop thing (there's a car park right next to the shop) because it is far safer than trying to get a 2 year old and autistic 4 year old into the shop, queue and pay for something (what happends if I try that is autistic 4 year old runs away straight out of the shop into the road and then i have to abandon 2 year old to grab 4 year old- who I then have to manhandle back to the till to get shooping/money and other child- anyway you get the idea). Obviously this is to pick up a handful of things though and not to do a massive shop. Does seem strange that 2 people were needed to take one to the toilet......... Probably no extenuating circumstances that could make this one ok.

Agree with philippat as well though.

Well, I have to hold my hands up here - if one of my kids was asleep in the car when I arrived home I always left them to wake up, parked outside the house. And I never thought twice about "leaving the house" - eg to sit in the yard or talk to a neighbour outside - when they were asleep in the cot. Where do you draw the line?

I am a bit surprised that both of them had to go to take the older child to the loo but it said they had 3 girls - maybe that was why? They obviously did not want the baby to wake and if one of them stayed in the car with the other child she probably would have woken.

As it's Nassau County court that means it was Long Island, ie a suburban shopping mall - probably like leaving the baby asleep in a large supermarket car park while you took an older one to the loo. I think it's been made to sound worse than it is.

Two people for 1 child's trip to the toilet? I don't think so. No reason in that situation imo to leave a baby in the car.

A car parked right beside a shop in view of aparent is different than a large carpark at an American shopping centre. I would pop into a shop for a single item but I would never leave a baby in a carpark of a shopping mall. If it was only to use the toilet then one parent shold have stayed in the ncar with the baby. Without knowing the whole story so far I'd say they are at it!! There might be more to it though.

My next door neighbour used to leave sleeping toddlers in the car on the road until the day a refuse lorry ran into her car and pushed into her next door neighbours garden further along. The side of the car was ripped off and garden wall demolished. She never left them again.

Stunned by this story. I can't imagine ever leaving a 6 month out of my sight on its own.

Why did it take both of them to take one 3 year old to the toilet anyway?

And then they say it's okay to leave her anyway as she was a sleep - bet they'd have gone up the wall calling the police themselves if anything had happened to the baby, like car jacking wouldn't they?

I am annoyed abiout the GB cultural think. It most certainly isn't acceptable to me to do this, or to any of my friends/family with kiddies.

oh my goodness mears!
this is the very reason that i never leave ds in the car -eeven if parked on the road and just posting a letter in the box right next to the car
i would love a drive thru grocery store.....for when your child is asleep in the car and you dont want to wake them but need a few bits and bobs
oh and more petrol stations where you can pay at the pump

But mears, that could happen while they were in the car with you, stopped at traffic lights or something. And we are assuming it was a vast shopping centre - could have been a little one.

But JanH - I still don't think it's okay to leave a child in a car in a supermarket car park whilst I was out of sight. And it appears this couple were gone for a while - well long enough for someone to see the baby, probably wait around and see if it was anyone nearby, call the police... so we aren't talking 2 minutes here either.

I also think this is VERY different from leaving your child upstairs in bed whilst you are in the garden of your own home.

JanH- yeah - that's why I would like to know the whole story. If the place where I leave my 2 in the car was described as a small supermarket it sounds worse than it is. If it was a big mall car park then that certainly sounds reckless. It's hard to judge without knowing the full details though.

Where was the third girl then? Was she in the car or with the parents?

interesting. My first reaction was "how awful, what reckless parents', but reading on I realise that there are shades of grey. I do leave my dd ( 2 yrs) in the car when I am paying for petrol or if posting a letter.I do this on the basis that I will only be out of the car for a couple of minutes at the most and that she will not be out of my sight.Perhaps I shouldn't be doing this, am I wrong to do this? obviously this is not the same as leaving her while I go and do a big weekly shop....or is it?

Well, the BBC piece says they couldn't find a loo so were gone longer than intended - they probably only meant to be 4 or 5 minutes. I know they do sound completely irresponsible and stupid, I think what they did wasn't thought through and was particularly silly in America, but even if it's not a "cultural difference" I think many people in this country do leave kids in cars (and alone in the house) for short periods, unless attitudes have changed completely since mine were small.

I have to say that I never leave DD in the car on her own, not for petrol or even to get a ticket. I live in apartments - at the moment the lift and intercom are broken. If someone comes round I have to go down 5 flights of stairs and back again. But I still always would take DD with me - I just feel so uncomfortable with the thought of leaving up there on her own. I always think the worst may happen.

hulababy you may feel differently with 2 + kids though, and you definitely would if one couldn't queue and was large enough to run away (into the road) and do serious damage to himself. There are always shades of grey. I mean you may feel differently in that case about leaving them to get petrol/pop into a shop for a pint of milk etc, I'm no talking about going away for ages.

I have left my kids in the car when nipping into the local newsagents, especially if DD2 is asleep, just on monday I went out with DD2 and she fell asleep in the back so when I got to the shop I left her in the car. I was gone about 1 minute and I could see her clearly from inside the shop. This is difference to leaving them in the car for more than 5 minutes in a huge shopping centre car park. Maybe the couple are from a small village where it is ok to leave their children as they have no crime there

I have been known to leave DD in the house alone if she's upstairs asleep for a couple of mins whilst I've been outside hanging out washing or popped next door for something. Have also left her in the car, in her seat, whilst I've walked the few steps to cash machine ( where she is still well within my field of vision). Would obv take her with me if I was popping to the shops of if she was awake and I had to pop next door/into the garden etc..

dd won't let me leave her alone, even to collect the post which is one flight down. She would be hysterical if I tried. Have to confess that I have left her asleep in cot when I've gone to meet ds outside from School and have also had a baby listener for friends'sleeping dd one flight below, with key. Also do leave dd in car at petrol station but then over here we can prepay using a Bankcard so I'm literally just outside.

Have also left a perfectly contented DD in the car whilst on the petrol forecourt.

I know Dino, I was being sarkey..... I think they were very silly, and one of them could have stay in the car with the baby

Jimjams - I know; I only have one and so can manage this. I suppose with 2 I would evaluate all this more and may have different feelings. This only my feelings too and I certainly don't blame anyone for leaving their children for a minute or two. With this story though it seems it must have been qute a bit longer and out of sight completely too.