This mum needs to Get A Grip Pronto

[Greythorne]

It is only a tattoo.

I can understand her being upset. Not everyone likes tattoos.
I object to the way she has become carried away with herself. Getting herself into such a self pitying lather, she has made a total arse of herself.

She is like that woman who wrote the article about the west london typhoon, drowning in romanticised tragedy whilst refusing to admit IT NOT A BIG FUCKING DEAL.

I would love to put a comment on her ridiculous article MrsDeVere.
I can understand your rage.
I've never been what you've been through, but fuck, I have no words any more about that silly, silly cow. .

My mother was like that when I got my nose pierced. She got over it. I still have the piercing, 20 years on, and she doesn't even notice it anymore.

The reason I think she's a fucking twat is not because of how she feels about her DS having a tattoo (some people hate tattoos. Whatever. I didn't tell my mother about mine for 20 years; she only found out when she helped me into the shower when I'd just given birth to DS, and I pointed out that they'd been there for that long so were not going to impinge on her life much) - but because she's written that pile of snivelling self-indulgence which her son will read, and despise her for.

Self indulgent and horrible. In one breath she admits she is over reacting and rather than address her own issues, she not only continues to let it affect her relationship with her son but makes it worse by publiscising it.
The sad thing that came through depsite all the me me me in the article, was how hurt her son was and how with each encounter with his mother he would withdraw from her further. This is a recipe for permanent self inflicted parental alienation.

I've never been entirely certain when it's appropriate to use the tern "naval gazing". Does anyone know if this would be right?

My DD (27) came back from holiday and showed me her 'tattoo', all along her forearm, i was gutted and i like tattoo's.

I am really pleased that it was henna. She and my 16 year old are getting discrete small matching tattoo's, but the thought of her having one that would be on show all of the time, made me feel sick.

I didn't examine why, because she told me quite quickly it wasn't real.

How the mother feels is how she feels, but she shouldn't have wrote about it, unless it will get it out of her system.

What a silly tit. That's all I have to say.

agree with everyone else about this - I read the 1st bit and couldn't be bothered to continue. But there's an article like this in the Family section of the Guardian every Saturday, don't you think? I don't generally read it any more, and only buy the paper for Lucy Mangan.

I pity the man if she catches him drinking a beer. "You will turn into an alcoholic how dare you!"

Seriously though, its a tattoo. Hes been clever enough to put it in a place where unless hes topless or wears a vest, you cant see it. Whats the problem? My mum never liked tattoo's. I got one on my wrist, she loves it. I'd have more if i could afford it. Shes overreacting big time. Poor man.

I deliberately didn't read this article when I saw it in the paper. Now you've sucked me in I realise it's all I feared it would be. What a stupid, self-centred woman. She initially thought that it would be better if he'd got a girl pregnant????? She's 'grief-stricken'???? Just to let you know lady, grief-stricken means stricken with grief. Grief happens when someone dies. Many mothers would be delighted to have your son - my mum included, as she's been grief-stricken since my brother died four years ago.

Stupid woman, and stupid Guardian for giving her the space (and the pay). Luckily it sounds like her son has kept his head in the face of her hysteria.

I think the article is really written about the tattoo symbolising the fact that her son will do what he likes regardless of what his mother thinks. He knew she would be upset but he did anyway. She is grieving because her son is no longer a baby but an independent grown man who no longer feels he needs to seek her approval.

The trouble is she expresses all those perfectly reasonable sentiments in a completely hysterical, unreasonable way.

Absolutely, but some people are into a bit of drama and it makes the story more interesting.

She knows it's ridiculous and over the top. She knows she handled it badly. She knows it's as much about his demonstration of autonomy and the shift to her being peripheral to his life.

The end is particularly tasteless but 'stupid bitch' and her needing a kick up the whatever is too.

Came on here to basically say what MrsDeV said.
Her son can walk through the door with his tattoo. She can have a conversation with her son. Oh, not that she actually wanted to have a conversation with him, mind, toxic cow would rather ignore her son for three days, three days!!!!
I plan, in the near future to get a tattoo. I am 43. The tattoo I will get will have my daughter's name on it along with a rose. The name of my daughter who died. Which actually is a catastrophe worth whinging about.

I have tattoos. My mum went mental. She said I was defacing and mutilating my body. I told her I was decorating it
Huge row in a cafe because I was sat down and you could just see the top of one tattoo and she told me to cover up because people were staring. Told her people were staring at the raging Mother not my inoffensive tattoo
She hates them, offers me laser treatment about once a year. You can't even see them unless I am in a bikini. And she doesn't know about the 4th one that I had done 8 years ago

I'd cry if either of my DCs disfigured themselves with tattoos. So Yes, I understand a bit. I'd probably do the crying bit privately rather than indulging in one long emotional guilt-trip (and I'd certainly not beat my breasts in a national newspaper). But still, I'd cry.

The bit I understand is the bit about how much we cherish our children. Wash them, brush their teeth etc Then they get to wash themselves and brush their own teeth. We take care over everything they eat, we're careful about schools and reading at night yadda yadda yadda.

Then they go and disfigure themselves.

Yes, no-one died. Not one person died. No-one is ill. But it does seem a bit like a lot of love's been thrown back.

It depends what you classify as 'disfiguring'. I personally don't like tattoos very much, but if my children chose to get one at the age of 21 I hope I'd see it as an expression that they are an independent person who can think for themselves, which is surely what we as parents want to achieve for our children. I might cry as well, but I cry a little every time they move to the next stage of independence (latest being DS's move to Reception).