I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK... 11 YEAR OLD RAPED IN SUPERMARKET TOILET!?

[MrsBigD]

didn't quite get the full story but it was on the news this morning when I walked into the living room.

What I caught was that an 11 old girl got raped by some youth in the supermarket toilet whilst her mother was not to far away doing the shopping.

FFS what kind of world do we life in where your kids can't even go to the toilet on their own once old enough to find you again in the supermarket?!!

Hope they catch that animal

My DS is 4.5 and will come in the ladies with me till he's 18! Well not quite but you know what I mean.

There have been a few instances that I have heard of recently that re-inforced this for me - one incidence in Ireland where a child was assaulted in the toilets in MacDonalds and another where someone let her DS go in the gents in a shopping centre and although she stood outside and sort of "timed" him, he was still sexually assaulted.

Apparently shopping centre toilets are now notorious as hang-outs for paedophiles. Lots of children, lots of harassed parents = lots of opportunity.

I agree that we should be able to let our children be independent but in this day and age I wonder is it worth it.

When I was a kid I seem to remember lots of public toilets had attendants. They would have a little room quite often and would come out every now and then to replace loo roll and glare at people. I can see shopping centres having to bring them back soon, just so that people feel safer using the toilets.

the only time, as a child, I was ever threatened sexually by a man was when I was about 8 or 9 and going to the loos by myself in a university music college (went there for music lessons). The loos were downstairs, my mother was upstairs, and this guy stopped me outside the loos and told me to take my knickers off. I didn't understand why he wanted me to, and luckily someone came down the corridors and he ran away. I never told my mother and I shudder to think what would have happened if I had been IN the loos and not in the corridor outside - there were hardly any people around in the basement.

I always take my children to the loos, even the 8 yr old, just because of that, but I probably wouldn't when they were 11...
it is horrible

what a horrible experience.
Who knows what the answer is? I always take ds into the ladies with me but then he's 5 and it is still acceptable. I obviously can't always do that but when is the right age to loosen up? He hasn't yet started asking me to back off but when he does I will probably have to respect him. But then how can I continue to protect him?
I have no idea what to do.

her mum was on this morning today and she was not revealed iykwim so not to show identity of girl
very story but apparently police think they have found one of the witnesses
also the public response giving names over is huge
reward is now £30,000

hope they catch the bastard

I have always thought of public toilets as dangerous, especially if quiet, but the staggering thing with this is that other people were using them and they are in a busy part of the store..I never would have imagined this in a toilet in a shop

It makes it hard to advise children on how to keep themselves safe

4pink1blue - I hate that sort of comment, I have a father, a brother and a husband, non of which I would like tarred with the same brush thanks.

Horrible story but you can't wrap your children in cotton wool.

It does remind me that I need to teach ds to run, shout and kick (in that order) if he were ever to encounter "inappropriate" behaviour. Part of making him streetwise.

But how do I explain to him what is "inappropriate" without destroying his innocence?

Someone knows, don't they? Someone has a son/brother/friend/neighbour with long hair, bad acne and that very distinctive clothing - and they are not coming forward

Agree with Overdraft's comment; the scariest thing is how rapists and paedophiles are coming out of the dark alleys. Rape in a Sainsbury's toilet, stealing a three yr-old out of her bath etc. All these years women have been keeping out of dark alleys and quiet places at night, now the rapists are coming into our comfort zones to get us. It's terrifying; the arrogance and audacity of the man to do that...scares the living sh*t out of me.

I know Prettybird - perhaps that would be a good thread topic - my 8-yr-old boy is very innocent and I was discussing this was dh just the other day - how do you explain about peadophiles, without freaking them out and scaring them. I sometimes think my children think there are 'funny men'(and women) who will try to grab them while wearing a clown nose or something
How do to keep them safe without giving them too much info?

i think maybe these attacks have always been there, but now the reporting of it and the lack of suppression through shame has made it seem more prolific.

I agree Ruty. I think it is just our perception of the danger, through improved communication, that has changed.

And the sad fact is, the most frequent occurance of abuse - both physical and sexual - is still within the home. The odds of it happening "outside" are still miniscule.

Mhy 8yo ds came into our bed in the night last night because he had a nightmare that someone had snatched him from his bed. I don't know where he's got this from, maybe someone at school has said something about one of the awful things that's happened recently, ikwym whoever said it feels like this is getting closer when 6yos are snatched out of their baths and 11yos are raped in supermarkets in spa towns.

partially agree with ruty about higher proliferance due to 'better' media cover. However, to me it feels that as if society is getting more and more depraved. Might it be because in the 'olden days' people were far too busy trying to stay alive? Might be worth a thread of its own maybe?

how awful
when we were younger, early teens onwards that i can remember, dad would not let us go to the toilets alone in posh places like five star hotels etc in pakistan, the middle east etc. he said that the danger of doped out, drunk rich kids thinking that no meant yes was too real.

I imagine rape within the home is on the same level as it has been for hundreds of years, if not thousands. Women have always been assaulted by their husbands, friends and family members.

I do think however that 'public'/stranger rapes are becoming more audacious. For a stranger to walk into someone's home and take a child from a bath? Or to instigate an opportunistic attack in a supermarket toilet? That kind of thing shows a new trend, IMO. Much of it fuelled by internet use and widespread exposure to and discussion of rape and paedophilia as pornography. These things do 'normalise' what should be considered extreme and deviant behaviour.

Obviously all rage must be directed against the rapist, but I'm also pretty indignant that Sainsburys could only spare a 5k reward. Wonder how much they'd have offered for an armed robbery. 5k was probably that store's daily turnover on yogurt. I think it's lame.

\link{http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/coventry_warwickshire/4859826.stm\15 yr old boy arrested}

I hope it is him and if so they succeed in the case. I was in there yesterday having a coffee and thought about this poor girl

It is absolutely hideous, but think of how many children use public toilets everyday. Millions probably. And one attack over the course of a year is equal to 1 in hundreds of millions. It doesn't make the crime any less dreadful, and I really feel for the poor girl and her mother, but this sort of thing must be put in perspective. Not letting your child have any indpendence because of a chance in hundreds of millions is ridiculous. Fear of this kind of thing will breed a very odd generation of adults I think.