Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
News
Original poster

I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK... 11 YEAR OLD RAPED IN SUPERMARKET TOILET!?

96 replies

MrsBigD · 07/03/2006 07:11

didn't quite get the full story but it was on the news this morning when I walked into the living room.

What I caught was that an 11 old girl got raped by some youth in the supermarket toilet whilst her mother was not to far away doing the shopping.

FFS what kind of world do we life in where your kids can't even go to the toilet on their own once old enough to find you again in the supermarket?!!

Hope they catch that animal

OP posts:
pashmina · 07/03/2006 12:20

supermarkets use cctv on entrances to shops to prevent theft, they should also monitor entrances to public areas, cafes toilets...maybe even in the handwashing areas?

As the girl is 11, i suppose it is OK for her to go to loo on her own, so what is the answer?

SorenLorensen · 07/03/2006 12:21

This horrible, sickening story highlights the dilemma that we all face, particularly as our children get older. My ds1 will be 9 next week - he doesn't want to come into the ladies' toilets with me (he still does, but for how much longer I don't know). The logical part of me, the part that tells me I have to start allowing him some independence and I am doing him no favours if I wrap him up in cotton wool, says he'll most likely be safe going in a public toilet on his own. The other part of me wants to stand guard over him til he's 27.

Nowhere is entirely safe - teachers get raped in empty classrooms, kids get abducted, awful things like this happen. But how can you stop them doing anything that carries any kind of risk? And logic dictates that the risk is miniscule - but the fear outweighs the logic.

It's terrifying - but I don't think the answer is to stop our kids having any independence...it can't be, because then these evil people really have won.

That poor girl, and her poor mother - who will feel guilty, though she has no reason to. She didn't make this happen to her daughter, the rapist did. Him alone. All she did was let her 11 year old go to the loo in Sainsbury's.

Enid · 07/03/2006 12:22

it has horrified me

but what do you do? It is impractical for me to think that I will always be able to accompany dd1 to the loos in the supermarket with dd2 and db3. dd1 (6) takes dd2 (3) off to the loo atm. I am always near but don't go in with them (I do encourage them to use the disabled loo though Blush as I feel that is safer somehow than the 'communal' ladies loo).

I just cannot live my life afraid of the bogeyman round the corner although I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't worry now everytime they went Sad

Enid · 07/03/2006 12:22

I can't believe anyone here would seriously still be taking their 11 year old to the loo.

motherinferior · 07/03/2006 12:23

I agree with Enid.

puddle · 07/03/2006 12:25

But Batters what's the alternative? This is a horrific, but rare, event. We all know that children are far more likely to be abused by people close to them than by this kind of attack -scary and upsetting tho it is.

FWIW I would supervise my kids up to the age of 8 ish in public toilets but after that I won't be able to for my ds (he'll also be banned from using ladies changing rooms at swimming baths etc when he's 8).

But this girl is 11. She probably does all sorts of things unsupervised by her parents.

Bozza · 07/03/2006 12:27

I agree with Enid too - I nearly always do on issues like this.

Bozza · 07/03/2006 12:28

Agree puddles and if she'd been shopping with her Dad not her Mum he would hardly have been taking her in the men's at that age would he?

dinosaur · 07/03/2006 12:29

I let the DS1 and DS2 (aged 6 and 4) go to the loos in somewhere like a museum on their own and wouldn't plan to change that in a hurry.

I would be a lot more nervous about sending them to the loos in somewhere like a railway station.

RTKangaMummy · 07/03/2006 12:29

On ITV1 they have just said he may have attacked before!!!!!!!!!!!!

AngrySad

SorenLorensen · 07/03/2006 12:30

I would draw the line at park toilets. I'd rather my boys weed behind a bush than set foot in a park toilet.

sparklymieow · 07/03/2006 12:31

I am lucky in the fact that I have a rader key for the disabled toliets and DS can use them without it being a problem, because he is disabled, I can checked the toilet before he goes in and know he is safe. I do make him come with me normally because it does worry me (he is 8) but DH thinks its ok for him to go alone.

SorenLorensen · 07/03/2006 12:32

I'm not being flippant, btw. It does sound a bit surreal to be discussing 'levels' of danger associated with public toilets and not something I'd much considered before.

Bozza · 07/03/2006 12:33

The only place I let DS (just 5)go to the loo on his own is the swimming baths - he does that every week. But I let him go in his own cubicle now pretty much anywhere. If we are somewhere like a shopping centre though I talk to him.

puddle · 07/03/2006 12:34

I just avoid scummy toilets generally as an adult. I have got into the habit of getting my koids to go in what i consider to be a 'nice' loo eg museum, library, coffee shop - rather than waiting to stand in wee in the loo at the playground....

Enid · 07/03/2006 12:34

yes I don't think I would let them go to a dodgy looking park loo on their own?

I did send them off to the loos at Stourhead on their own though, it was a busy day and there were lots of kind old ladies in there. Trouble is, dd1 loves to have that little bit of independence so I would hate to squash it.

gomez · 07/03/2006 12:35

I am with Enid, MI, Bozza et al. DD1 (6 in May) now goes to the loo herself and I will continue to allow and encourage this independance for her. The same as I will continue to teach her to cross the road safely, count money and pay for things in shops, ride her bike etc.

Basically allow her to develop and grow within society - and with all this develop an awareness of what is appropriate and inappropriate behaviour from her and other people and teach her the coping mechanisims she will need.

Do still feel sick at thought of it thou'.

red37 · 07/03/2006 12:36

Castrate the f**king bastardAngry
Thats sick!

fimbo · 07/03/2006 13:00

Sainsburys have offered £5K reward to catch him. My dd is 7 and will go to the loo by herself in public places but I only let her go in the disabled toilet Blush

harpsichordcarrier · 07/03/2006 13:05

I agree with Enid and SL
This is such a shocking shocking terrible event that it is natural to be more protective. The effect on the child and the family (and the imagined effect on our families) is too awful to contemplate.
but independence is a precious thing and as parents we should keep a proper perspective on actual and perceived risks to our children.

flutterbee · 07/03/2006 13:12

This is disgusting and shocking and I don't know how I would react should this happen to my child.

Having said that, I refuse to jump on the "accompanying your child everywhere bandwagon" .

If I chose not do to something or not to let my child do something just because there was a very very slim chance something bad ould happen then we would never do anything.

zippitippitoes · 07/03/2006 13:14

I think the alarming fact is that there is much more violence evident at all times of day and in previously "safe" environments. I haven't learnt this from the papers but from witnessing it for myself. We shouldn't be looking at our children and ourselves as potential victims.

Original poster
MrsBigD · 07/03/2006 13:15

flutterbee you have a point with this, natrually we can't protect our kids from everything, they wouldn't 'grow' and be dependent for ever.

As for what we would do if anything like that would happen to our kids... well lets say if it can be found out who the perpetrator was he/she better pray that the police get to him/her first... because if we'd get our hands on him/her... anybody saw the movie 'just cause'?

OP posts:
nailpolish · 07/03/2006 13:18

i tend to go to the disabled toilets too. i usually have dd1 and dd2 (dd2 in a buggy) and it means that myself and dd1 can both go to the toilet and we dont have to leave dd2 outside in her buggy.

glad i dont have ds's to worry about, with different gender toilets. dh has that problem, he takes dd1 to the disabled.

shoot me down for using the disabled when none of us are disabled, i dont care Smile

nailpolish · 07/03/2006 13:20

i heard the mother of the 11 yr old girl speaking on the radio this morning

you could hear the guilt and the desperation in her voice

i just wanted to reach out to her

i hope they have lots of supportive family and friends Sad

Swipe left for the next trending thread