Child guru says nurseries harm small children

[flashingnose]

oh dear

Bossykate, then single children only? Or is that selfish? What do children gurus have to say on that?

I don't thikn that is what is meant by one to one care in this context.
the important thing for attachment is that the baby/child attaches to one ADULT (or poss a very small number). more than one child can be attached to that adult. but it is considered to potentially damaging if the adult changes.
I can try and find a link if anyone is actually interested in this.

lol, lockets i suppose that makes it easier from a practical perspective!

cristina7, i don't know what to make of this 1:1 care thing.

if, as harpsi asserts, this is a well established research finding, then i feel it should come up on the heated discussions re only children rather than the heated discussions re wohm/sahm/childcare!

i just got annoyed at the tone of the article yes in a ideal world we would all love to devote all our time and attention to our kids but this is not an ideal world and there are many situations where parents have no choice but to resort to full time child care writing articles about how it is damaging for children and nurseries are dreadful places is just wrong

but attaching to one adult is not the same as 1:1 childcare.

anyhow, parp and goodnight ladies

but nulnulcat the point is to try and change government policy and the culture
I will look and see if I can find something
I studied it but yeeeeeears ago (child protection issues, to do with attachment disorder) so can;t remember much

"we would all love to devote all our time and attention to our kids"

Depends whom you read. There's a school of thought/parenting experts eager to say how this is a bad idea, that you shouldn't be breathing down your child's neck, ideally you should provide a kind of bening neglect (see Deborah Jackson).

but changing government policy would not help women like me who have to go to work, i could never live on benefits dont want to nothing wrong with those single mums that do but it is not something i want to do, dont think they will make a law that will stop fathers running off with younger models! therefore enabling me to be a stay at home mum while he is the breadwinner

try this

from that link "Some adherents of the "Attachment Parenting" movement have very strong beliefs about how parenting should be done, for example, they think that skin-to-skin contact is essential for good attachment relationships to form, or that parents should behave in particular ways towards their children or that day care is bad for children. While IAN [The International Attachment Network] accepts that responsive and sensitive parenting is important for healthy social and emotional development, we shy away from advocating hard-and-fast general principles because we recognise that relationships between parents and children depend on the unique characteristics (temperament, lifestyle, social situation, support systems, quality of adult relationships, family size, culture, etc..) of individual relationships."

In conclusion, responsive and sensitive parenting.

i have read that article and yes it was interesting but i would still like to point out that my daughter has had a number of caregivers but she has no problem with attachment and the only seperation anxiety she seems to experience is in relation to my mums dog!! we wake up a number of times a night to have big conversations about the dog and where it is she understands things go away and generally they come back, when i drop her off in morning there has never been any tears and she tells teachers quite matter of factly mummmy come back, even though i probably see less of her than the teachers do i am still the most important thing in her life!

I am an evil childminder and, if you give me lots of money, I will stay in my own home and grin at your children for you. And if you want the children to get used to "downsizing" too, I'll leave them in my minibus for much of the day as well.

When it comes to attatchement parenting, I am a big fan of dr sears .

The Sears are a medically trained family (there's about of them) with eight children, quite close together in age. They are really really down to earth and seem to know what they are talking about. And tend to take a pragmatic view of things. Its a good idea to breastfeed, carry your kids in slings, co-sleep etc, but that also your attitude matters far more than these practicalities.

Their sling is crap though. Give me a nice Ergo any day.

Beartime, you view is way too subservient to be good for anyone. I think women should stay home as a means to serve their husband... when Hell freezes over. If they want to stay home for other reasons (like raising their kids themselves) that's fine.

But, uh... my DH can make his own veggies.

Where I live, many nurseries go from 6 weeks.

The nursery my DD will attend is small, they have enough room for 6 under 1 years old, but only currenly have four which will include my DD when she goes.

No it is not ideal. If DH and I could work shifts, we would do, but we cant. He's in the middle of becomming qualified at his job, and my hourly rate is more than his so going part time does not work out for me, nor does it jacking in my job.
I put my faith in nurseries, partly beecause I know a lot of kids who have gone to nursery and they're not all rampent agrressive souls, and partly because I have at least four relatives who work at nurseries and absolutely adore the kids they're working with. Yes, there are some bad nurseries. But the majority are good. IMO everything is okay in moderation, and my DD wont be going 50-60 hours a week (who has a child that does?).

As for the point about a husband / partner being better off if the wife works part time or stays at home, my DH is perfectly domesticated.

As for the comment about children being fashion accessories... WTF? I don't know anybody like that, and I'm sad that there are people who believe that 10% of parents view their kids as accessories.

errrr... women were created to help their husbands

Feel I must post on this thread although Im sure everyone has given up reading it by now. Am just about to go back to work leaving my 6 month old in a nursery for 4 long days/week (40 hrs equivalent) Yes I do feel awful about it -sick to my stomach in fact and I do feel that noone -nanny, CM or nursery could give him the love and responsiveness of a mother. However-I work in an area of medicine where specialists are in short supply-my work is directly of benefit and sometimes life saving to women-many of whom are mothers and I have spent 18 years training, working ridiculous hours and taking exams to get to this point. I feel I owe it to society, taxpayers who put me through med school, and my parents(who scrimped and saved so I could have an education) to return to work.
To stay at home for 3, possibly 5 or 6 years(if we had another ) would mean retraining and going back to square 1 in terms of career progression and salary.
Should we relinquish the right to interesting high paid high status work outside the home which many others before us have fought for?
Surely flexi hrs better ratios and pay for childcare and tackling our long hrs culture where part-timer is an insult and we are left out of management and decision making (40 hrs is considered p/t in medicine btw) are the solutions.
I will read the book with interest when it comes out. I think you can look at the evidence without necessarily agreeing with his conclusions.

I too doubt that anyone really has a child as an accessorie. Let's face it if they do, they'll soon realise the reality is very different!

Blimey, bear, you wont find many women hear agreeing with your views but of course you're entitled to them and great if it works for your family.

I understand why anyone might need to send their child to nursery from whatever age 8- 6 but I dont for one moment believe there can be any reason for sending a child 6am - 8pm.

I sent ds to full time childcare when he was 3 but that doesnt mean that if someone produces research to show this is a bad thing is an idiot.

IF I had to send a child from the age of 6 months or younger to full time nursery I would despite this research. That doesnt negate the research but you weigh up what is best for your family.

ladyg - I think our children should be higher on our priorities than society, taxpayers, parents, career progression and salary.