Child guru says nurseries harm small children

[flashingnose]

oh dear

because we crossed posted, Christina, so I hadn't seen your post when I posted! Nothing personal meant!

well nulnulcat it is very unusual for a 2 year old to have no problem sharing, it is a normal developmental stage

unfortunatly i dont have time to pick up a book or newspaper at the weekends too busy spending quality time with dd and doing stuff round the house picked up a book of his when she was newborn and was rather unimpressed with some of his comments on single parents

well this thread is about an article and there is a link at the bottom

These articles annoy me because not all kids and families are the same, and as long as children are loved and feel safe, then they're happy IMO!

have read enough of this thread to understand that many women do not agree with putting babies in full time child care i put my 5 month daughter into full time nursery and totally disagree that i have done her any harm thats all i have been trying to say

bit harsh to call Steve Biddulph a prat on that basis, nulnulcat

You weren't Lockets, but that's what this kind of research does: children in group A had X% less eye contact with person Y than children in group B, hence we infer... whatever (the Penelope Leach study was along these lines, or some other such study). It implies that one group does less well than another on a measure that may or may not be relevant long-term. Hence the "you can't love your child as much as I love mine or else you'd be downsizing more and live like me as I've found the perfect balance" etc etc.

It's OK, Mummytosteven, I was joking.

have now read the article and i think he is an even bigger prat than i did before in fact prat is to polite a term for my opinion on him

obviously i cant love my daughter as i slam her into nursery 5 days a week so she is unable to form attachments or some crap like that

think it was this bit i took offence to The best nurseries struggled to meet the needs of very young children in a group setting. The worst were negligent, frightening and bleak ? a nightmare of bewildered loneliness that was heartbreaking to watch.?

Biddulph focuses his warnings on what he estimates is the 5% of British parents who ?slam? their children into nursery for a large part of their day from the age of six months.

He believes nothing can provide an equal substitute for one-to-one care for a child under two, ideally by a parent. He argues that infants? brains need to be stimulated by loving interaction if they are to develop properly.

or was it the bit about she was going to have problems forming relationships !!

have read a bit of one of his books and found his comments on single parents offensive

I wonder if he started writing his book only 5 years ago how come he knows how children will turn up 20 years from now. Or is he using other people's research? (Nothing wrong with that, just curious as to his methods.)

anyway i ve had enough of this and i have to go and get everything ready for dd to spend a day in her nightmarish nursery tomorrow!!

He believes nothing can provide an equal substitute for one-to-one care for a child under two,

And if baby is no 2,3, 4 or even 5??? and another of those is already under 2 themselves???

nulnulcat you need to get away from the notion that Biddulph is talking about your situation or making any criticism of you - of course he isnt
he is commenting on ihs own experiences and the research
the stuff about attachment (children under two benefiting from one-to-one care) is well established btw

but how are even sahp supposed to provide 1:1 care for children under two? what if you have more than one child? what about twins?

People should space them out. If you do extended breastfeeding you are v likely to have children 3-4 years apart. We should all return to the traditional society. Just a guess, I have no idea.

cristina7, so your 4yo needs no care whatsoever when baby no2 turns up?

lockets, aren't you going to have 3 v. close together? do you have a view on the 1:1 care issue?