Do you think it's worth it? Private schooling at what cost?

[indiechick]

this page
I'm intrigued by this woman, I think it's a bit contrived and apparently she has four children. But do parents really bankrupt themselves in this manner for private schooling?

I don't really see home ed as an alternative to private education TBH. It would not give parents what they hope to get from private education

Home ed is something you tend to do if for whatever reason your DC does not respond well to being in a school environment.

It requires one parent to be permanently at home so not realy suitable where both parents need to work.

Myself, I would not even dream of trying to do it at secondary level as I could not hope to give the specialist teaching in all areas that would be needed.

Sieglinde, previous post not really directed at you, more at betelgeuse who introduced tha frankly wacky ideas about people in the EC asking for their inheritance up front.

If DCs chose to ask me for that they would be very welcome to take their share of my considerable overdraft!

betelgeuse, don't really know what you are talking about TBH.

Whatever the laws are in other EU countries (and I have never heard of laws which compel parents to transfer large chunks of capital to their Dcs before their death in any EU country) in the UK there is NO requirement to do any more than feed and clothe your DCS while you are still breathing.

And once you have popped your clogs you are still perfectly entitled to leave the lot to the local cats home, as long as the DCs are not still financially dependent on you.

Exactly WHAT do you think my DCs are going to get out of me anyway?

Believe me, I do not have a large pool of cash stashed away just waiting for them to claim, and neither do most parents.

The only duty the parent has is to send the child to a school or provide a suitable education at home if they choose not to send the child to school.

The LEA has a legal obligation to provide a free school place to each child living in it's area.

The parent is under no obligation to privately educate the child!

And there is absolutely no obligation for the parent to educate the child post 16 (at the moment, the age is going up to 18 soon I think?)

betelgeuse, what ARE you going on about?

she's had twelve au pair's and doesn't send her son to private school along with his sisters????
I feel very uncomfortable with singling out one child because you can't afford it. You either send them all, or none of them, You don'T pick and choose. That's different to putting one child in state or private because he's better suited to it.

I tend to be pro-state school (okay then, anti-fee paying schools), but accept that most parents make decisions that they consider to be the best interest of their children.

But what I don't get is this - if you see private schooling as an essential (and I know some people do), you have to be bloody rich to have more than a couple of children. So don't have four children and whine about the cost of education.

If she is paying for "naice" manners, perhaps one of the girls might point out that it is considered frightfully common to air one's (very dodgy) financial status in a tabloid.

Dreadful woman. Truly dreadful.

Why would she have to pay for orthodontic treatment for her daughter. Is that not available on the nhs?

Bit of a daft article really. Pretty sure most of it is exagerated.

However, it does highlight the point that there are many parents out there willing to go to huge lengths to pay for their children's education.

At the start of all this credit crunchiness, there were many gleeful posting on MN anticipating swathes of kids having to leave thier schools.

I'd kind of assumed the numbers would be down for private schools to be honest. But it doesn't seem to have happened.

DD's school had a record number of applications for year seven and a record number of acceptances. I was shocked.

I do worry that a lot of folk are overstretching themselves. I also wonder why.

Perhaps as things in the UK look to get more and more difficult, parents want to give their kids any perceived advantage they can, whatever the cost.

Litchick here too, a rush to place deposit etc. But I can sort of see why.

It could be the case everyone makes a slight change.. Eton to um elsewhere, London to hc and so on. Schools are still over subscribed, possibly more so. Just different people using them.

Litchick. I get a feeling many people in the "middle class" (whatever that means!) are really overstretching themselves.

I'm surprised how many of my colleagues have three older children at private school. Fees are £13k to £18k for each child plus extras (add another 10%). So they spend £45k-£60k/year. I doubt the take home pay of my colleague + their partners would exceed £75-100k.

Add to that a nice London/Surrey house with big mortage, two expensive German cars, expensive clothes and nice holidays.
No wonder they seem terrfied of losing their jobs!

The problem is that they want to give their children what they received. However, in between the cost of private schooling (and housing) exploded. Add to that a (genuine) fear that if you don't get three A* at A level you can't get into a decent uni and they feel huge pressure.

That could well be right...

We can all see that the future isn't looking too rosy. Well paid jobs are going to be ever more difficult to get. The cost of living will increase and support for those in lower paid work is being eroded.

It all adds up to parents doing whatever they feasibly can.

They look at the evidence and see that privately educated children are utterly over represented at RG unis and in well paid jobs and they want in.

It's human nature, I guess.

Crossed with you sasl.
But I think you're right.
The fear out there is huge.

And there's no point people pointing to themselves and saying well I did well from a comp ( I did too, btw ) cos these are new and bloody difficult times.

Parents will do what they can for their kids even if it seems bonkers from the outside.

Litchick

That's my DH's concern. He went to a comp, got straight A's and STEPs and ended up at Oxbridge doing Math.

He doesn't believe he could guarantee to get in to do Math at Oxbridge anymore. To many students get perfect grades. You need perfect grades, good coaching from your school and a healthy dose of luck.

So I understand why parents want to give their children private schooling. I just question whether it's good value for money in many cases. For many you might be better off just moving to an area with a good state school or just giving the children a lump sum at 25.

And I maintain the woman in the article is still a complete fruitcake!

Fruitloop of highest degree Siasl.
Am a bit surprised by amount of people on here associating having an au pair with having loads of money. IME it's the total tightwads who have au pairs and misuse them as very very cheap childcare and cleaning staff. If you read her article about having got through 12 au pairs, it's obvious she thinks they're there to do all the toilet cleaning and childcare while she writes her crappy pieces to pay for school fees all for weekly pay of £70. Which does work out much cheaper than paying someone qualified...
ps don't think people who use au pairs in the proper way are tight wads at all

Oh and also agree with the idea of maybe giving your kids a lump sum at 25 instead of private schooling. I think if you were to ask any teen whether they'd rather have been sent to a spenny pre prep from 4 to 7 or have their tuition fees paid, they'd tell you the same answer.
Ditto getting a deposit down on a house, having some money to live off while doing an internship etc, etc. I agree that it might not be the best or most imaginative way to use any spare cash you have (or don't have in shona's case) to give your child an advantage.

yes I read the au pair article. I think I read au pair as being similar to a nanny but they're quite different .
I was really surprised she expected the au pair do do cleaning as well as look after the children.
SHe was shocked her au pair was tired and asked for the morning off the next day, and said she was more tired after being up all night with the teething baby before going to work. Then I realised it would have been the au pair, not her, who was looking after the teething baby all day. Reason enough to be tired IMO!! It's also very tiring living in a foreign country and in someone else's house. YOu can'T expect them to be a free cleaner as well.

Polly, I only meant that I've never been able to afford an au pair. Of course, maybe if I used them as childcare ALL DAY....though I only ever had a cleaner 4 hours a week amd I gave up on that after a month because it made me so uncomfortable (morally).

My kids have been (largely) privately educated but I think this woman sounds like an arse. She says she aerns a 'pittance' and her husband earns 'modest' amounts yet they pay 8k per term for two children, so thats 48k AFTER tax, just on school fees. and thrice

I'm all for making sacrifices for your children but there are limits and she has overstepped them. More fool her.

It seems to be a bit of a treadmill to me.

Gotta get children into private school to get good well-paid job so you need to work all hours in well-paid job. Then your kids will need to do the same so they will need to work all hours in well-paid job.

Use the state school option, spend time with your kids, choose the best location to live and offer them tutoring when required. That seems a much more pragmatic way of living your life.

Alternatively combine with your friends to set up your own school, using your own pooled knowledge and time where necessary.

If you are only doing it for the manners. This begins at home.

Absolutely agree bitsy. It is a treadmill and the fear out there is immense. As you say, the OPs children will grow up feeling they have to provide exactly the same thing for their kids.

As for the argument about it being tough times, yes, it certainly is, but if you've got the capability, you should be able to achieve top grades within the state system, and as for all those 'other things' , mysteriously referred to, which are important for getting into good universities etc- I assume people mean self belief, good manners, broader interests.... Well , frankly if you don't have the confidence as a parent that you instil these from the home, then it's a pretty sad state of affairs.
It makes far more sense, financially apart
From all the other advantages, to live in a pleasant location, spend time with your children, give the enriching experiences etc rather than spend hundreds of thousands on private school. I would hate my children to feel that was necessary in order for them to achieve well in life - at the end of the day its an elitist thing which is relevant only to such a small sector of the population

I wouldn't want mine on a treadmill and to feel they had to achieve because I had made sacrifices or, even worse, they had to live up to my ambitions. I would prefer to use the money to have holidays and fun. Neither would I HE, just find a good state school and have the best of both worlds.