Do you think it's worth it? Private schooling at what cost?

[indiechick]

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I'm intrigued by this woman, I think it's a bit contrived and apparently she has four children. But do parents really bankrupt themselves in this manner for private schooling?

I knew a family who sent their sons to private school and their daughters to the local (albeit very good) state school. One of the girls, now a woman suffers from depression and has a massive inferiority omplex. The state/private thing may just be a symptom, rather than a cause of her issues, but this silly woman is playing with fire, IMO,
And yes, Siasl, I think the Daily Wail does have some sort of contract with crap, idiotic witers, especially if they are women- they just go to proving their mysoginistic point of view that women should be in the home looking after their children instead of having crap opinions!

SWC - you are mistaking money for quality. May be the case for ABA but not for quite a lot of mainstream schools.

To me the worst thing is excluding her son from the wonders she talks of...hw can she!!??

My DD attends a private school and so will my younger DD...I realise that I wont be able to have any more DC if I want them to continue...if I DID have anther then NO WAY would I send him or herto the state school whilst the other 2 trundled off to their lovely private one.

There's noting wrong with state if you have a good one nearby....we don't. So we made massive efforts to pay....and it has been worth it. DD is very happy in her class and has grown amazingly well thanks to one t one teaching. I could never exclude a child like this woman.

chutestoonarrow....their knickers may have been regulation but their lunches won't be...nor' will they be weighed and judged by the state.

I think it's 1. the blabbing to the press and 2. the fact that the children are being treated differently for purely financial reasons (not because one school suits them better) and 3. the fact that these children are going to feel very pressured when they understand how much normal family life has been sacrificed to give them this education (which they will realise soon if they don't already).

It's not really about the fact that these parents are prepared to make big sacrifices for this education, which lots of parents do, more about the huge mismatch between the sacrifice (for the whole family) and the difference in education that sacrifice is paying for. And the amount of unhappiness I'd predict will come out of it.

AMumInScotland....it does not follow that just because a parent chooses to struggle financially to provide private education that a child needs to feel "very pressured"...in our case we struggle to pay fees but do so knowing that our DC may choose to work in shops or factories...or train as hairdressers.

Whatever they do is fine by us if it makes them happy.

We have not sent them private to ensure they become doctors....but to ensure they are in a small class with one to one attention...and to provide them with as many opportunities to excell as we can. Whether or not they take advantage of the opportunity is up to them..

"personally when I come across parents who pay for holidays, new cars etc rather than education I boggle at their priorities;"

Presumably the parents are happy to send their child to state school? I am and so are many others who could afford private school. The children are being educated, in an environment which just happens to suit some people better.

The woman in this article is surely unhinged.

ShanahansRevenge - if you are being totally honest there, well done. I have to say, I think I'd be mightily pissed off if I'd made huge financial sacrifices and the DCs decided to drop out and join the army (or whatever the equivalent is now). That's what I think. I don't know how I'd actually react because it would be a gradual process of seeing them disinterested in education, so not such a shock. Just trying to imagine.

What if she is gaining no "advantage" whatsoever?

Don't you think they'd feel pressured if they knew you had to leave your home because you could no longer afford it? If they knew that only 2 of the 4 children could have private education and the others had to go to the state school?

I'm not talking about what parents in general do - I'm sure there are plenty who make this choice, take the financial consequences, and make sure their children never feel pressured about it. I just don't think this family are in that category! Anyone who is prepared to publish their story like this is not thinking about their children's best interests.

SWC - I agree with you there, it's one thing you can help and control, so why not? It's just for many others being in a private school is not so essential because state education fits them well enough. I understand you are doing it to avoid the hassle and to help in the way you can. Don't judge people who don't have these additional worries because they won't pay for private education.

Cristina...it's a case of understanding your own DC I think. In our case DD 1 would have struggled hugely in our large state primary...big class and DD 1 was incccredibly reeserved to the point of selective mutism...at 3 she would speak to no adult apart from me and DH and only a few close relatives...so sending her to the local school would hav been tough...plus it is under special measures.

My DD2 would have gone there with no probs....but now DD1 is so settled then DD2 will go private too.

I genuinely don't mind what career path my DC take...it's my choice to pay...not theirs.

SWC - for someone who doesn't judge your post comes across quite...judgey :)

Referring to my earlier post. When we were younger, my parents said those of us who did not pass their 11 plus would be going private and those who did would be going to the grammar schoo.

2 of us passed, 2 didn't. Not for one minute did any of us feel jealous (except for the tuck box) so it is not always the case, that you grow up with a chip on your shoulder or sibling resentments. It just did not happen in our house. ~And we are all cruising through our 40's toward our 50's and I think suffice to say it would have emerged before now if there was angst.

It depends on how it is handled. We wer never 'chosen' for private or state, it was the best our parents could do for all of us at the time, that is all.

Well, I personally am judging her. She is quite quite bonkers. Not least because she is apparently paying for Naice Manners. I have nothing against Naice Manners but I wouldn't endanger my children's lives - which is what you're doing if you drive with zero petrol in the car - in order to ensure them.

"I don't understand parents who can pay for private education who don't,"

Its really really simple, swc, there is not much to get your head round. Some people, even wealthy ones, prefer the state education system. That is all there is to it.

ShanahansRevenge - good for you. I want mine to be happy too, I just think it's easier in some careers than in others and I am honest with myself to know that I want them to go to Uni.

I haven't yet read the article but I have a feeling it's not worth it.

SWC - you do seem to be assuming that a private education will always be the "best available", hence your being unable to understand why someone who could afford it wouldn't go for it. Over the years, DS has been in a variety of education, some of which we've paid for and some not - the private parts weren't fundamentally better than the state parts, each was the best choice at the time. There were times when we could have afforded private and chose not to, because we believed the available state options were the best all-round option.

If you "don't understand" why I would make that choice, or why others would make that choice all through their child's education, then I think you have as much unthinking prejudice about schools as you are accusing others on this thread of having.