I have epilepsy, and I get DLA. I have two young children, who are probably the onlyy reason I get DLA, depsite the fact that my epilepsy means I will probably never drive or work full time again.
The reason for this is that I have to be supervised around them, in case I have a fit (they currently come a few times a month). If I am alone with them when I have a fit, they could seriously hurt themselves, so my DP has to stay at home with me as my carer. So my disability means that neither of us can work, despite the fact that 95% of the time I am fine. The trouble lies in the fact that I do not know when the fits will occur. I might have one today, I might not. But if I did, and my children were hurt because DP was working, it would be my fault.
DP will shortly be applying for Carer's allowance (only permitted because I get the 'medium' care component), which is taxable and deductedfrom other benefits. We won't be any better off doing this, but heck, at least it's something in his name, an income of his own as everything else comes to me. If it seems an injustice to you as 'neither of us work', try seeing it as a wage rather than a benefit. Because it is. He has to be with me all day every day, and will until our DC are old enough to look after themselves when I have a fit (at which point I will probably lose the DLA despite my epilepsy being of a type that will remain wit me for life).
And as a wage, Carer's Allowance is pretty shitty. £50ish a week to work every day, 24/7? The government is saving a mint, because without DP I would be in sheltered accomodation our our DC would be in care.
My brother has a working diagnosis of ADHD and communication issues. My mum HE'd him because of a lack of support at school, in the process giving up her job as an LSA. She recieved nothing for her pains, dothing for him, despite the fact that the absence of any help for him in school meant that she had to stay at home with him all day every day. He is 18 now, and still dependant on her, though he is now at college. He'll still be relying on her to provide him with money, manage it for him, and help him interpret other people's emotions for years to come. I half expect to have to take over looking after him when my mum dies, because his numeracy alone would be a major barrier to living independantly.
What cost do you put on that, OP? Yes, my brother doesn't need someone to wipe his backside (anymore) or tie his shoelaces (again, that came in the last few years), help him up and down the stairs or get him washedand dressed. Yes, he looks like anyone else and can now (finally) hold a conversation with other people without us having to "translate" what he says into what he means, or excuse his lack of understanding. But this has taken years of dedication, and he still can't function as well as other people. And he has mild issues. In the 1990/early 2000s before he was removed from school, he had a level 3 statement, so a few hours of help a week.
The impact has been incalculable, and yet my mum recieved nothing. No one even told her that he qualified for tax credits after 16 because he was then in full-time education (I had to point that out to her). If that level of detriment and cost doesn't warrant DLA, what do you think the people who do get it have to face? Don't you see how your words are at best, completely ignorant, and at worst, utterly heartless?