Mother suspected of killing her three children

[ElenorRigby]

Link
hope the witch rots in hell

poor poor children
RIP sweethearts

It's not something you can comprehend intellectually and rationally because it is to do with feeling and emotion, to do with the heart. If you don't feel it, then it can't be explained. I thank God that there are people like SassySusan who have this human empathy and feeling.

Thank you Claig

Expat there is really no need to become so defensive. I am only responding to what you have elected to post. I'm sorry you find flowers so upsetting. Perhaps you could make yourself more comfortable by averting your eyes in future when you pass a murder or accident scene.

SGM I thought Expat's argument was that I was weird and wasting my mother and that flowers are macbre and upset the bereaved by reminding them of their loss (WTF) Is that what you are agreeing with?

No one has said you have to leave flowers, or are unkind not to do so. I personally think it's totally up to you.

I don't find it upsetting. I find it sad, weird and a waste of money. In the future, however, I will avert my eyes to your posts because you don't seem to understand the meaning of differences in opinion and I find you a bit too strange and dense.

oophs - freudian my slip... wasting my money - not my mother

I think SassySusan has much more empathy and feeling. I'm sorry if that upsets you. Nobody is right or wrong, we are all just different. Some of us have more empathy than others. Mother Teresa had more empathy than all of us. Anybody who thinks that people who are so moved by a tragedy that they wish to mark their respects by buying flowers and walking to the site and laying the flowers down, is in some way weird, clearly has never had the capacity to experience those feelings. To think that a police cordon marks a death, as opposed to the loving emotion of people who are moved enough to lay down a personal mark of respect, anybody who thinks that the kindness and empathy involved in writing cards and laying flowers is a waste of money, is deficient in understanding people's feelings. In my opinion, that is a great loss for them. There is no right and wrong, God made us all different.

i find the leaving of flowers thing a bit weird too.....the whole princess Diana this was very weird!! all that money wasted....

You are the one making comparisons between grieving and giving to charity. I am not saying anything is better than anything else, we are all different and experience and feel things differently. But I am saying that anybody who thinks that laying flowers is weird and a waste of money is lacking in empathy.

yes, I find it extremely strange and from my understanding and my point of view, it is a sign of a lack of empathy. Clearly you see things differently. That is life, none of us see things in the same way, we all have our own opinions.

There was an entire programme on road side memorials and the like.. I shall try find the link for those who are puzzled by this practice.

i claig....i dont lack empathy claig. but don't see the point in flowers....and cuddly toys....wasting away on street corners. they become almost a symbol of the wasted lives.

the flowers die,the rain spoils the cards,the toys become weathered....its not the sort of thing i'd like to be remembered by......but i certainly DONT lack empathy because i think this way

but can't you empathise with the people who put these cards and toys there? Can't you see the feelings that drive them to do this? Don't you understand where these feelings and bonds come from? Can't you see that it is caring? How can anyone describe the practice as weird, when it is a natural human reaction. Describing the practice as weird, implies that the people doing it are in some way weird. In my opinion what drives people to do this is the bond that links us all. For me it shows that they feel that bond deeply and are driven to express their sorrow in a personal way (not by donating millions, not by money, but by words of kindness such as R.I.P and by teddy bears, cards and flowers). Those emotions are far more valuable than any amount of money.

Goodness Gracious! What a silly argument.

No one is obliged to leave flowers. No one thinks you are a bad person if you don't. However, if it gives people comfort to leave flowers, I can't understand why it is attracting such criticism?

There are numerous things that I would consider a waste of money/weird etc - but I'm sure I can't be bothered to go round telling people who do them how odd and distateful they are.

Sorry, I think it was me who first used the word weird? What I said was weird for not understanding people who leave flowers.

I agree with expat though -I do think people who do this are a little odd. It's the fact that they don't know the victims and yet sometimes they travel to lay flowers. Rather like the people who traveled to stand outside Raoul Moat's funeral. It's possible to have empathy for victims of these kinds of thing but still find the whole flower laying thing a bit strange.

Well put claig

When Martin Luther King died, when Churchill died, when Elvis Presley dies, are the people weird for turning out in their millions? They were touched by these people, they didn't know them personally, but they recognised a great loss. When people travel to church to pray to God, whom they don't know, are they weird?

Road side memorials for example can show people the danger of speeding.. what about ghost bikes? Anyway I do not like the opening post so am off.

"but can't you empathise with the people who put these cards and toys there? Can't you see the feelings that drive them to do this? Don't you understand where these feelings and bonds come from? Can't you see that it is caring?"

if they know the person/people who died then i can understand laying flowers etc. it's not something that i would do myself, but i can understand why others may want to.

but i don't understand why anyone would lay flowers for somebody that they didn't know and had no connection to.

not saying i have a problem with people doing it, i just don't really get why they would with no connection to the victim/their family.

I suppose it's like a message of sympathy to the family. A symbol - you can't verbally express sypathy to grieving families, but you can take 10 mins out of your day, spend a few quid, a tiny sacrifice to show them people care.

but i don't understand why anyone would lay flowers for somebody that they didn't know and had no connection to.

You don't need to know someone though to feel a connection to them, do you?

Well said Sassy.

Years before Dianas death, I asked my Dad to drive me to Liverpool after the Hillsborough Disaster

Never before or since have a travelled to put flowers on a memorial to people who had died.

Over 90 people died that day at a football match due to overcrowding. The people were crushed to death in front of TV cameras that were there to record the match. I saw it unfold on TV, it was utterly horrendous.

I had no direct ties with the people who died, their families or Liverpool.
Yet I felt a strong urge to pay my respects. There was a connection. I was working class, from a northern city, whose Dad and brothers loved football. Those that died were ordinary people like us...

Never before or since have a travelled to put flowers on a memorial to people who had died.

As a parent I find it incomprehensible that a parent could deliberately harm any child...