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Human rights
Original poster

Neighbours complaining about my sons drumming

133 replies

sunshine05 · 02/10/2020 12:38

So my 9 year old son has been learning the drums for 1.5 years now. The neighbours (who made our lives hell during our extension) have complained to the council numerous times and now someone from the council is coming round to talk to us about this. We live in a detatched house, the bedroom where the drumming takes place is 3 rooms away from a brick wall then there's a gap then the neighbours house. So it's not like we're in a semi detatched house.

Does anyone know do they have a claim against us?? Does my son have to give up something he loves?? He's learning a musical instrument!! I am so stressed about this- I'm shaking as I type. I was so stressed when they were unreasonable during our extension. He plays during the day only 5-10 mins and between the times of 8am and 8pm so we're as considerate as we can be.

I'm not sure where we stand legally

OP posts:
coldgraybrix · 02/10/2020 16:01

You need to stand a drum kit on a solid floor with cushioning underneath, and soundproof the rest of the room. It's no good having it in a bedroom, the wooden floor will reverberate and your entire house will be acting like a giant loudspeaker.

Move the drum kit downstairs onto a solid floor, stand it on a piece of carpet and buy some thick curtains. Oh, and keep the windows shut.

(I know several professional drummers and OH is a sound engineer).

Popcornismandatory · 02/10/2020 16:39

I feel very sorry for your neighbours. I hope for their sake the council come down hard on your inconsiderate arse.

SerenityNowwwww · 02/10/2020 16:45

I've just checked the Geneva Convention, and actually, you sarky lot, under Protocol additional to the Geneva Conventions of 12 August 1949, and relating to the Protocol III, 8 December 2005te, - an update to the Protocol Additional to the Geneva Conventions of 12 August 1949, and relating to cultural self-expression (Protocol II), 8 June 1977, you are actually allowed to drum in your back bedroom between the hours of sunrise and sunset, al long as there is not an R in the month.

DownThePlath · 02/10/2020 17:07

Oh here we go again. Not another person calling people "bullies" when they get comments they don't like. Nobody is bullying you. Get your kid some headphones.

SerenityNowwwww · 02/10/2020 17:19

My BIL has a drum kit (1), several guitars and a couple of keyboards.

You never hear him (unless you do of course) and he has some whizzy tech and headphones. You don’t need to drive your neighbours crazy.

JorisBonson · 02/10/2020 17:21

Reminds me of the old joke...

My neighbour rudely knocked on my door at 2.30am this morning. Luckily I was still up playing my drums.

Readandwalk · 02/10/2020 17:23

Maybe you're shaking from being in drum vibrations?

AlternativePerspective · 02/10/2020 17:25

I had no idea there was a “human rights” section on MN.

WRT the OP, reality is that this doesn’t need to be an issue. It is possible to buy electric drum kits and fit them out with headphones. He doesn’t need an acoustic drum kit.

Incidentally, if you go to the Yamaha shop in London they have a whole section dedicated to drums. They have multiple electric kits around the room with headphones plugged in so people are free to play them. In the middle of the room they have an acoustic kit, which is roped off.... Make of that what you will....

DeliciouslyFemale · 02/10/2020 17:34

I had no idea there was a “human rights” section on MN.

Me neither. I’m off for a nosy.

feistyoneyouare · 02/10/2020 17:41

@sunshine05

sorry if I've put this in the wrong thread- I searched and couldn't find a topic that it would be best suited to. any suggestions are welcome - instead of slating me. Seriously I may just ask people who are nice instead of coming to mumsnet for help
I for one wouldn't blame you, OP.

Why do people think it's OK to be so nasty to complete strangers? Hope the vipers on this thread feel good about themselves, I certainly wouldn't be able to.

BIWI · 02/10/2020 17:42

I'm amazed you haven't already got pads for the drums, to be honest, if it's been going on for this long.

Original poster
sunshine05 · 02/10/2020 19:31

coldgreybrix thanks but it is on a carpet with windows and curtains closed

OP posts:
Original poster
sunshine05 · 02/10/2020 19:33

feistyoneyouare thank you so much. I've never experienced such venom, it's astounding. But you know what they say about bullies, maybe they have something going on in their lives that's causing them to lash out at others. Sad

OP posts:
TenShortStories · 02/10/2020 20:02

I don't think you can call it bullying, but the majority of posters have certainly taken a mocking, sneery tone. Drumming can be incredibly antisocial, but 5-10 minutes in a detached house is really not that dreadful.

Without knowing the deal with the extension and harassment (so assuming neighbour and OP are both generally reasonable people and this is a misunderstanding that has escalated), i'd pop a note through their door saying that you've heard from the council and understand that they are struggling with noise from your son's drumming. I'd apologise and reassure them that it will always limited to 5-10mins per day so they never need worry about an extended session. Then I'd offer a couple of different time slots so that they can choose a time when your son would disturb them the least. See what happens from there - a bit of acknowledging their feelings can't make things worse.

lunar1 · 02/10/2020 20:23

My children play instruments, if he keeps going much longer 10 minutes a day will be nowhere near enough. The piano is ok, we are detached and it can't be heard outside. But we had to get headphones for the electric guitar.

Music lessons should be something you and your child enjoy and look forward to. DS1 plays guitar once a week without headphones so I can listen. We don't want to worry every time he plays that we will piss off the neighbours.

It will probably cost less than you think, children quit instruments all the time and you should be able to pick up a second hand set relatively cheaply.

CloudyVanilla · 02/10/2020 20:26

Just another one who found it absolutely hilarious to see this posted in human rights Grin

OP get him an electric kit and headphones for Christmas. Drumming is an amazing skill but you want to be humane considerate to others

CloudyVanilla · 02/10/2020 20:30

Sorry! Didn't realise it had taken a bad turn. I wasn't being sarcastic btw, dp can play drums and it's amazing.

But you definitely want him to be able to continue because if it's a contentious issue for your neighbours then worrying about it will affect your mental health in the long term. There are solutions which mean not giving up drumming and not causing a row.

Although if he is playing at sensible times of day I don't see why they are being such kill joys. Its hardly like he's playing for hours a day is it

Lonelycrab · 02/10/2020 20:34

In terms of soundproofing none of the suggestions so far are going to cut it. (I’m a drummer and engineer and have built studios) The weak point will be the window.

It’s really difficult to soundproof well as there is such a loud transient when a drum is being hit property. Around age ten kids can do that. You’d need another layer on the external wall with a secondary window to create an air gap. Pm me if you want.

I’d get a good e kit, one with tuneable skins (ie proper feel) and perhaps real cymbals as these don’t carry (soundwise) nearly so much.

Also think the responses on here have been a bit.....ooh look let’s pile on. You don’t need the same point made over and over again.

LolaSmiles · 02/10/2020 20:35

He isn't playing for hours on end, he's not playing at an antisocial hour, and you're in a detached property.

It may be annoying, but you're well within your rights to play instruments (though on here posters have millions of issues with anyone learning an instrument at any time).

The fact that your neighbour has complained about almost everyone at some point means the problem is them,not you.

LindaEllen · 02/10/2020 21:11

Please tell me he plays with drum pads on and not just the bare drums.

When I lived at my mum's, my brother's best friend had a drum kit. He lived about 10 houses down at the bottom of the street, and when we were sitting in the back garden we could hear him drumming from our house (though admittedly he was in the attic conversion which may not have been as soundproof as the rest of the house).

Your neighbours have every right to be pissed off. I would be, too.

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/10/2020 21:17

I'm not bloody suprised.

Since when have we had a human rights section?

vodkaredbullgirl · 02/10/2020 21:19

My BIL made the garage into a sound proofing studio for my nephew.

DameCelia · 02/10/2020 21:24

@sunshine05 if an electronic kit is out of the question, in the short term buy a set of 'sound off' pads. They're cheap and deaden the noise, it'll still travel but without the sharp attack.
Agree that the kit needs to be on a solid floor on the ground floor, NOT an upstairs wooden floor.
Also make sure he has a practice pad for snare work, he can spend as long as he likes on that.
Pick a ten minute slot every day and always play at the same time.

lagerandblack · 02/10/2020 21:27

I dont think you are being unfair here OP. Perhaps you could make the hours shorter when your DS plays and invest in electric drums and headphones.

Abracadabra12345 · 02/10/2020 21:44

@sunshine05

mrsbyers actually that's plenty if you want to check with a drumming teacher. But I'm sure you're an expert on it. Little and often is better than lots less often. Plus we're trying to be considerate to the neighbours?? Hmm
“Little and often”? So just how “often” is it?

If he’s been drumming for 1.5 years that is one heck of a long time and as was said upthread, what have you done about it?

So you’ve driven him mad with a noisy extension and now the “little and often” drumming from as early as 8 am (what?!) to as late as 8 pm. As mentioned - unlike you or your son, the neighbour doesn’t know when he’s going to be disturbed. I like the idea of a certain window. Although if it’s often, how many windows throughout the day will it be? I’m just picking up what you said.

I’m sorry you don’t like the answers here. Doesn’t that tell you something? Maybe you’re not in fact being a considerate neighbour but the opposite?

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